Hef has wasted no time replacing the soon to be married Kendra Wilkinson, moving Playboy playmate Crystal Harris into the mansion.  If you’d like to learn more about Hef’s new girl, check out her MySpace page. Apparently, she’s a “good girl,” an advocate for human rights, and a lover of boats.  She also enjoys “gutting and killing drifters” in her spare time.  Its on that Myspace page, just keep looking.

I’ll let the pictures do the talking:

I know this is going to shock you, but “Nitro,” of American Gladiator fame, was on steroids.  Honestly, the only thing shocking about this story is that Nitro says Larry Csonka and Mike Ademle injected Nitro with said steroids.  Okay, that’s not true, but this quote is:

“Man boobs, breast-chesticles is what they’re called on the street. Gynecomastia is the scientific name. No matter what you call it, I [had] it,” Clark, who was “Nitro” on the smash reality series, reveals in his memoir, “Gladiator: A True Story of ‘Roids, Rage and Redemption,” out next month. “I hate[d] taking off my shirt. For photo shoots, [I'd] wet my nipple with spit … [to] look firm instead of hanging down.”

Tempers flare at a Brazilian bikini contest between two of the contestants:

I was very disappointed that now one’s clothes got torn off, leading to new feelings and potentially lesbianism.

These ladies have inspired me to put together a list of the top moments in “Chicks Fighting in Bikinis.” Enjoy:

Holly Valance and Sarah Carter from Dead or Alive:

Another fantastic scene from that movie, NSFW.

Great Taste vs. Less Filling

Pamela Anderson vs. Jenny McCarthy in Scary Movie 3

Apparently, a 31-84 record as a general manager is a pretty solid resume builder for an aspiring football analyst.  You could say it’s ridiculous that this clown has a job analyzing anything except his unemployment check, but I do give NBC credit for making a move that will undoubtedly create buzz and give Matt ample opportunity to make an ass of himself on live TV:

I had no clue who Cloris Leachman was until I saw her comic stylings on the Bob Saget roast, but she definitely seems like the type of women that young, aspiring Rose Bowl grand marshals can look up to:

If I could find a woman with a mouth like that, I would marry her in a heartbeat.  In fact, if she could still bear a child, I’d fly to LA right now and try to woe her. Throw this foul mouthed octogenarian on an HBO special.  There is nothing funnier than children or old people swearing, absolutely nothing.

Well, she is ridiculously hot, but at least she’s dating someone in her league. YIKES.

Douche bag Drive Mobile Bar (Tasty Booze)

Merry X-Mas from Hef (Mac G’s World)

The next Jonathon Dais (Afro Jacks)

50 Fantastic Vintage Ads (Co-Ed Magazine)

The Greatest Cheerleader Video Ever (Busted Coverage)

Love me some Wingsuits (Brahsome)

T-Roc’s Betting Picks (Cuzoogle)

Love me some Maria Louiza (Don Chavez)

Have a very Beery Christmas (Banned in Hollywood)

Commander of the free world my ass, just look at the golf swing of the man pegged with ensuring the safety of the United States for the next four years:

Free golf balls at the range? At what kind of white collar, bourgeois golf course is our supposed “middle-class”  president teeing up?

A Great Reason to Turn your Cell Phone Off During a Movie (YepYep)

Hello Kerri Parker (Uncoached)

Tony Romo in the Shower (Machochip)

My Favorite Model in the Whole Wide World (On205th)

9 Words that Women Use (Boosh Magazine)

All four readers of this site know that I envy and love people that can dance. Those feelings of love and envy turn into admiration for young children whose limbs already have more coordination than my limbs ever will.  Look at this little guy just embarrass the mascot:

The Angry T

I wouldn’t shelve the finding below in the “Shocking Information,” file, but I would say that I am mildly surprised that athletes score so much worse on their SATs than their university peers.  With the help of a the Atlanta-Journal Constitution study, let’s take a look at the SAT scored for football players vs. the student population at large for BCS bowl teams and some other traditional football schools.

(For your reference: the “Rank of Student vs. Football SAT Gap” as ‘1′ indicates the biggest gap between football player and regular student body SAT scores among 54 schools surveyed. Also  Florida’s “50″ under “Rank of Football SAT,”  indicates that out of 54 teams surveyed, Florida’s average football player SAT score ranks 50th among the 54 teams surveyed)