Georgetown’s systematic dismemberment of the Villanova Wildcats on Saturday left little doubt in my mind that when focused, Georgetown is a top five team in the country.  That game also left me believing that Georgetown actually has what it takes to win a national championship.

Aside from all that, the game also left me thinking that Greg Monroe really loves to talk shit to any and all opponents willing to listen.  In the games’ final minutes, he seemed to be jawing with anyone and everyone willing to engage him.  I found the clip below particularly entertaining  because after getting into it with a couple Villanova players, Monroe seemingly had time to compose himself at the free throw line.  Apparently Greg, en route to a 13 point win, was way too angry to simply compose himself, make his two free throws head to the locker room.  Instead, he made the front end of the 1 and 1 and turned around to heckle the Wildcat behind him:

Nice and classy Greg.   For future reference, the camera is almost always focused directly on the free throw shooter following a free throw.  The odds of that camera being focused on you go up exponentially if you are a potential lottery pick.  That being said, that punk behind you looked like he deserved it, so way to make him look like a dick.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

The Detroit Lions are officially terrible.

A winless season didn’t make it official. #1 draft picks flaming out didn’t make it official. Hiring Matt Millen didn’t make it official.

But fans selling a towel proclaiming “We Are Terrible” as a play on words from the Pittsburgh Steelers Terrible Towel makes it very official. And at $10 you’ll get years of good out of your towel cleaning up the vomit when Matthew Stafford throws another pick. Or the defense giving up another 200-yard rushing effort.

Of course the local Detroit media jumped all over this story.

Birmingham residents Gordon Miller and John Crick are selling white towels (naturally), with “The Official We ARE Terrible Towel: A Detroit Original Since 1957″ emblazoned in Honolulu blue. They’re $10 each — or less for bigger orders — and can be purchased online at weareterribletowel.com or by calling 877-442-7935.

“It’s hard to eat a hot dog or drink a soda with a bag over your head,” Miller said in a news release. “With the official We ARE Terrible Towel, you can eat, drink, boo and still wave your towel.”

And in a nice touch from the entreprenuers, they are offering a Cleveland Browns version too. No, Brady Quinn’s head isn’t emblazoned on it.

[We Are Terrible Towels]

Popularity: 2% [?]

It’s never too early to start talking Pittsburgh / WVU’s annual Backyard Brawl.  It’s also never too early to talk about Noel Devine and all his children. Of course, the best way to talk about said children is in shirt form.  Show your support for the man with the strongest seed in the Big East.  He could fart on a girl and nine months later be the proud father of a set of triplets.

So grab your Pitt gear while they steamroll Cincy and WVU on their way to a Big East Championship for the Stache’.

Buy it here. Or here. And ladies, you can buy it here.

Nothing like good old fashioned pre-martital baby making to get a rivalry going.

The Angry T

Popularity: 3% [?]

If I wasn’t pretty certain this was serious, this website would leave me to believe that business that I am about to show you is fake.  But oh no ladies and gentlemen, this website is all too real.  

Make sure you read all those tabs, starting with “about:”

Since October 2008, Human Toy Co. has been delighting children all across the country!

Our name says it all!  All of our toys are real people who will do, move and say as your child wishes!  They love it!  And your child will, too.

A human toy will not only be countless hours of entertainment but encourages creativity and teaches a sense of leadership.

The perfect toy for the child who has everything!

Just so you’re clear, by “perfect toy,” they do mean human that your child can boss around and manipulate in any way.  By “leadership,” they mean your child will learn how to boss around a mindless drone who will do anything and everything you say. Although, if you’re rich enough to afford this, your child will probably enjoy a life of bossing around mindless drones, so it may be good practice. If the name Todd Gallagher is ringing a bell, that’s because the owner of this site is the same Todd Gallagher who’s currently enrolled in high school…at age 33. (and here is his blog about the experience)

Does anyone else find it ridiculous that you can rent human beings by the hour to amuse your children?  What about babysitters you say? It is true that you pay them to mind your children and make sure your kids don’t rip shots of liquid plumber while you are way.  The website makes it very clear that these “human toys” are the farthest thing from babysitters:

Are your toys trained babysitters?

Our toys are no more of a babysitter than a wooden horse.  That said, unlike most baby sitters, Human Toys are carefully screened, have passed a rigorous background check, are highly trained professionals, and are required not to participate in any activity that will endanger the welfare of a child.  We have never had a family unhappy with their Human Toy experience.

Well good thing I read that frequently asked question.  Now I at least know if my child is choking on a lincoln log, the Human Tool, I mean toy, will sit sit silent, rocking back and forth like the little brother from The Client.

Now I bet you’re saying, “Come on Angry T, this is virtually like renting a clown for your child’s birthday party.”  You may think that gentle reader, but the Human Toys website has a response to that statement:

When you say human toy do you mean clown?

No, clowns are for children whose parents aren’t willing to go the extra mile.   Clowns are a limited, one-way form of entertainment like a television that makes your child take a passive role.  We want children using their minds in their fun!

Well, humantoys.net, you’ve just eliminated 75 percent of your target audience.  Most parents think they want to go the extra mile for their child, at least for a while. Then they plop that same child in front of the TV for nine hours of Nickelodeon while they huff Lysol disinfectant spray and polish off a Cobra or two.

I’m sure that everything I’ve told you above has convinced you to contract the services.  But what kind of HumanToy would you like to purchase?  Take a look at this page.

Well, I’m sure as shit not choosing this HumanToy:

Holy hell! “Mommy the scary floral patten woman is haunting my dreams.”  I simply don’t have enough money to invest in rubber sheets to allow my child to choose this Human Toy.

What about this guy?

Sure, I’ll buy this clown for my child…if I need to teach my child how to identify someone without a soul.  Worst of all, he costs, $40/hr, or double what that frightening woman above can fetch.  This douche will teach your child all about the world of investment banking, lawyering and all things hated by the rest of the world.  Then again, he’s probably got some dough, so while your child is learning about net earnings before depreciation, you can rifle through his wallet and pick up money for dinner.

Who should you choose though? There aren’t a lot of great candidates, but I think this is the obvious choice:

Sure, she started in investment banking and sure, according to her bio on the site, she can “count to a zillion,” which obvious makes her a witch, but at least she’s attractive.  While she’s rounding one billion on her way to a zillion, you can oggle the hell out of her, which depending on how she looks from the neck down, might be worth it.

The Angry T

Popularity: unranked [?]

It takes a special man to risk life and limb to entertain the masses.  It takes an even more special man to risk life and limb to entertain the masses, and after almost losing said life and said limb, to remain true to his sponsors.  NASCAR driver Joey Logano cemented his reputation in the eyes of any potential sponsor by not just walking away from a crash that looked incredibly dangerous, but walking away that crash with his Home Depot had firmly planted on his unharmed skull.  This is what we call “professionalism” ladies and gentleman.

Watching those crashes in slow motion is most certainly the best part of NASCAR for the non-diehard fan.  For this reason alone I think it would be a worthwhile exercise to take a look at some of the more frightening racing crashes that drivers survived and in some cases walked, or stumbled away from.

10. Michael McDonald (not this one) during qualifying at Texas Motor Speedway -  It appears that he’s angry about the crash and not happy that although this car just exploded and flipped six times, he’s still alive. Smile a little bit Mike.

9. Mike Harmon’s car tears apart at Bristol – It looks like Mike was in even greater danger that normal because his car tore apart right before getting hit by another speeding car.

Of course, he just ends up popping out of the car without a scratch.  Why don’t they make planes our of NASCARs?

8. Carl Edwards at this year’s Aaron’s 499 - Not only did Edwards flip his car, not only did his car hit the fence, not only di dthe crash take  place on the final lap and not only did he walk away, he Ricky Bobby’d to the finish. 

7. Amazing Crash at Le Mans – These cars already look like the smallest updraft could lift them airborne.  I guess it’s not surprising that this guy can do Blue Angel type moves with that thing.  He just failed to stick the landing which put him right into a wall.  I’m sure he’ll get it right next time.

6. Stephane Ortelli nearly decapitating another driver – I’ve never been hit in the head with a car going 280 kph, but I’m imagining it would hurt a lot.

5. BMW M3 goes off a ramp that was inexplicably placed very close to the race track where cars travel very fast.  The end over end couldn’t look better in slow-mo.  The driver went to the hospital but was released shortly after, for your reference.

4. Nascar Craftsman truck series fireball – Just plain scary

3.Any rabbit enthusiast better not watch this video.

2. Ryan Briscoe says hello to the fence and explosion of his car after getting bumped.  Amazingly all he got out of the crash was two broken clavicles and not an exploded body.

1. Tetsuya Oda’s Crash at Fuji Speedway in 1998 – Oda, who survived this crash, filed suit against race organizers for failing to implent proper safety procedures.  You can clearly see in the video that rescue personel seem very slow in helping the the on-fire Oda.  The first people to actually help Oda are his fellow drivers.  Despite this seeming negligence, the court ruled in favor of race organizers, saying Oda failed to decelerate quickly enough.

Oda’s story is detailed in a documentary called “Crash.” He no longer races professionally, but he owns a performance autmotive tuning garage called Tezzo.

Send along any other crazy crashes that we might have missed.

The Angry T

Popularity: 2% [?]

I am almost less concerned about the cop beating the hell the guy than I am that the man near the end of the video is the mayor of an actual city.

Cop Takes A Shot At Guy In Handcuffs – Watch more Funny Videos

 This behavior must be par for the course because that other office doesn’t bat an eyelash.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Little football players can still make big hits (Busted Coverage)
Ants Love Potato Chips, I love Ants, I love Potato Chips, Ants love me? (Uncoached)
10 Strange Pictures from Sunday’s NFL Gamse (The World of Isaac)
Cheryl Cole’s Sexy New Video (DJ Mick)
Daily female objectification with Blake Lively (Blog of Hilarity)
Today’s Time Waster: Duck Shooter (on205th)

I used to think that only fat chicks falling down and injuring themselves could assume me.  This video below opened my eyes to the fact that even hot chicks falling down can make me laugh, not only at their misfortune but also at how bad they must feel about themselves after turning that kind of hotness into such pathetic-ness.

L riders of Chicago, tell me honestly that you haven’t at least considered seeing if you could jump all the way over the tracks, assuming there was no way you could get electroctuted and there was a less than 10 percent chance you’d die.

Parkour Champ Flips Over Subway Tracks – Watch more Funny Videos

Popularity: 1% [?]