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Effective Date of this Privacy Policy

This Privacy Policy is effective as of January 1, 2008 and last updated October 1, 2008.

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I have full faith in the American legal system, but I have to disagree with a couple recent moves by John Law.

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It’s over, enough already.  I understand how important this thing is to people, but enough is enough. ESPN continues to post story after story when, at last check, the story was about as interesting as the details of my latest colonoscopy.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am talking about that goddamn horse Barbaro.  Did you know that Barbaro had surgery on its left hind leg on Saturday?  I know I was waiting on the edge of my seat, but only because I am hoping to pick up a scale model of Barbaro from a hobby shop and use model glue made out of Barbaro to construct it.

I am not sure that there was as much attention paid to the tsunami in South East Asia as has been paid to this horse.   You know, the one that killed thousands of people.  I can’t tell you very much about the clean-up effort or anything like that, but I can tell you that Barbaro’s left hind leg is in bad shape and this latest surgery is not good for everyone’s favorite horse.  However, I am not sure that the last statement is a bigger indictment of me or the news media.  I like to believe the latter.  Has anyone realized this isn’t a person yet?  They make baseballs out of these things, don’t forget that.  I actually own a baseball that is signed by and made out of Seabiscuit.

I am also disgusted that the media call this a “comeback story” and comment on the horses “heart.”  It is a wild goddamn animal, of course it clings to life.  I fail to see the “heart” in a team of well-paid professionals trying to save a horse.  If this were real life, which I contend it is not, this horse would have been eaten by foxes or wolves, or some other wild animal.  And for me that would have been justice for this damn horse, just because I vomit each time I see another Barbaro story on ESPN.

Thousands of people die each day and would kill, maim or sodomize for this type of medical care.  If I were president (I am getting closer every day), the owners of Barbaro would be stripped of all of their assets, and forced to work at a hospital for humans in the Sudan.  I am hoping they all commit ritualistic suicide for prolonging the life of a horse.  Here is the sad part: the only reason Barbaro is still alive is that they want to breed the horse. A Kentucky Derby winner is worth millions to breeders.  I hope I get treated this way when I am ready to go that big glue factory in the sky.

Now honestly, although I am disgusted by these stories, I hope that Barbaro recovers fully. The Shock could really use a 3 who can put the ball on the floor.  How’s that for originality?

Popularity: unranked [?]

Athletes are athletes are athletes.

Popularity: unranked [?]

I am not 100 percent sure I am ready to do this, but my conscience dictates that I have to publicize (let 4 people read about) this story.  Kyle McAlarney, the now former starting point guard for the Notre Dame Fighting Irish basketball team was kicked off the team.  Under the direction of Mike Brey, this team is 16-4 and, barring a collapse down the stretch, is most likely NCAA tournament bound.   Getting back to McAlarney, he was picked up for possession of Marijuana following a routine traffic stop.  Apparently, the cops detected a strong odor in the car, and then found a blunt in the vehicle’s ashtray.  Nice, Kyle.  Well, at first Brey suspended McAlarney indefinitely to allow the university and the South Bend police make a ruling.  Well a decision has been reached and McAlarney has been kicked off the team.  Wait, isn’t this kid an athlete? Doesn’t Notre Dame know that he deserves 8-12 second chances?  All I can say is, “Bravo, Notre Dame.”  I may very well dislike your football team and football coach, but how can you not respect this move?    Before you say, “who the hell cares about those goldbricking Irish administrators,” I say you should care because there are very few colleges who would have pulled the trigger on his kind of move.

Marcus Williams steals laptops from student dormitories and is allowed to re-join the UConn basketball team (nice headline).  He very nearly committed grand larceny in attempting to steal laptops from members of the women’s basketball team.  Fantastic.  If that doesn’t scream character, I am not sure what does.  Everybody makes mistakes, so let’s give Marcus a break here…right?  Well, this was his second second chance, because he was already suspended for the majority of his freshman year due to academic problems.   But you know, he is only a kid…why should he be denied an opportunity to earn a degree because of a couple dumb mistakes?  Oh that’s right, he left after his sophomore year.  Nice program Calhoun, and nice standards UConn.  Onto the next case.
My very favorite collegiate institution, the University of Michigan, has also been soft on athletes.  In 2005, Daniel Horton choked the hell out of his girlfriend and was suspended for the season after pleading guilty to domestic violence charges.  Of course, because he was the team’s best player, he wasn’t kicked off the team or out of school.  He came back the following season with a “renewed attitude” and better “perspective” on his life and the game of basketball.  Is that the company line for felons or what?  Again, great university standards.  This guy choked a woman.  To me, that’s just not something that you can gain “perspective” on and come back as a better person.  I think that was Jason Kidd’s line after he gave Jumana Kidd a European Upper-Cut and a right cross with the brass knucks.

And if you think either of these is bad, you need look no further than to Brandon Meriweather to really make yourself violently ill.  Last summer, Brandon Meriweather was involved in an altercation that led to a Miami player, Willie Cooper, being shot in the ass.  An unidentified man walked up to the group of players and started an altercation.  Cooper was shot and Meriweather immediately pulled a pistol from his pants and returned fire.  Oh yes, he had a pistol on him.  Very convenient in this sort of situation.  This is the same Meriweather that was also involved in the FIU vs. Miami brawl that took place last season. Meriweather made headlines by stomping on a player during the brawl.   For all these indiscretions, he was suspended for one game overall.  This should really come as no surprise.  Ray Lewis was only suspended for 1 half or a game in 1994 for participating in the murder of his Pysch 100 professor after a lecture and encouraging all the witnesses to keep their mouths shut. (Do some digging, you will find it)

Some have said that the punishment did not find the crime in Mr. McAlarney’s case.  I have to disagree with those bleeding-heart carpetbaggers.  This guy knew what was at stake if he were to get caught.  I think if you asked him before this incident, if you asked him what he thought would happen if he was caught with weed, he would have probably described a situation similar to what actually happened.  But like everyone who drives drunk or smokes weed, he didn’t think he was going to get caught.  A very small percentage of smokers actually do.  Unfortunately for Kyle, he did get caught and as per the conduct code of the University, he was kicked out.  The stakes were especially high (ha), because he was on a 40k/year scholarship.  Not to mention that anything negative that he did would reflect negatively on a university that holds its moral standards in high (ha) regard.

Don’t expect anything complimentary towards Notre Dame to ever again be posted in this blog.  I do feel the need to mention that McAlarney’s expulsion was not the most severe penalty that Notre Dame considered.  AD Kevin White suggested that McAlarney should be shackled to the leg of Charlies Weis for the duration of the basketball season ala Jabba the Hut and the Princess in Star Wars.  It could be worse Kyle, always remember that my friend.   

Popularity: 1% [?]

What else is there to say about Dick Vitale that has not already been said? The man is a complete caricature of himself.

Popularity: 1% [?]

The saying goes that blood is thicker than water, but apparently blood is not thicker than cold hard cash.  Whatever the hell that means.  Floyd Mayweather Jr., the pound for pound best fighter in the world, is set to fight  Oscar De La Hoya for the junior middleweight title.  This fight shouldn’t need any more intriguing storylines as it is already set to break record for most pay-per-view buys.  Oscar De La Hoya, “The Golden Boy,” the cagy veteran who won a hard fought TKO over Ricardo Mayorga to win the junior middleweight title.  “Pretty Boy” Floyd is the undefeated, virtually un-hit welterweight champ. Floyd Mayweather might even be looking to pull a Tiki Barber (and I don’t mean wear that possibly homosexual turtleneck) and retire after the fight. But the gods of fantastically disgusting sports stories have smiled upon me and given this fight another dimension.  Floyd Mayweather Sr., who you may have guessed is the father of Floyd Mayweather Jr., is set to train one of the boxers for this fight.  Now, common sense would dictate that the father would train the son, but oh no, not in the madcap and zany of world of professional boxing.

Floyd Mayweather senior is currently negotiating with the De La Hoya camp to train Oscar to fight his very own son.  But don’t worry Floyd Junior, Dad won’t do it for less than 2 million.  In fact, he finds the current offer of a half million up front and another half million if Oscar wins “insulting.”  According to Floyd Sr., “if you want me to tell you how to beat my son — and I’m the only one who can tell Oscar how to do that — then you need to pay me."  There is nothing like that special bond between a father and a son.  I can just imagine Little League baseball when Floyd Sr. would tip Junior’s pitches to the 9 year old opposing batter.  Sure it is down right disgusting, but that 11 dollars from the opposing coach makes it worth it. 

This is the same Floyd Mayweather Sr. that was in jail for drug trafficking when Floyd Jr. won the bronze medal in a disputed decision at the 1996 Summer Olympics.   Although Floyd Jr. was originally trained by his dad, he is trained by his uncle and former champ Roger Mayweather.  Roger will be in Floyd’s corner in the De La Hoya fight once he gets out of prison for battery charges.  Floyd Mayweather Jr. avoided jail time in September when he was acquitted of domestic abuse charges stemming from an argument.  Nice family Floyd, Floyd and Roger. This situation reminds me a lot of that Full House episode when Uncle Joey beat the hell of a Stephanie after she talked back to him and had to be tasered to the ground by the police.  Either that one, or the episode of Step by Step where Cody (or the Code-Man depending on your Step-by-Step knowledge) uses his KickBoxer III (oh that’s him) skills and scissor kicks each and every member of the family, including a paralyzing leg drop to Patrick Duffy to end the scene. 

Floyd Mayweather will win this fight regardless of what his father teaches De La Hoya.  He is the younger, faster and more skilled boxer.  This is just like when my father tried to sell my secret of great sports writing to other sports blogs.  After receiving bids of “get the hell out my office” and “wait…what?” for my sports writing magic, he was forced to come crawling back to me.  Just wait and see who Floyd Sr. comes back to for help after he attempts to pass out free coke samples the night of the fight to generate business.  Fathers are all the same.

The Angry T   

Popularity: 1% [?]