Mar
30
2007
2

Kevin Durant and Greg Oden love school. Hate Graduating

Written by | Visited 4580 times, 24 so far today |

If you have read a sports section or listened to anyone on CBS or ESPN the past few weeks you have heard everyone’s two cents on whether or not Kevin Durant and/or Greg Oden would leave school early after their standout freshmen years.  Despite both being named to the AP All American team as Freshmen, countless reporters and announcers have claimed that a trip to the NBA might be delayed a year or two for these phenoms.  Why is this, you ask?  Is it because the NBA is requiring players to be 21 years old before entering the draft? Is it because hundreds and hundred of sorority girls throw themselves at Oden and Durant on a daily basis? No that’s not it, the correct answer is apparently this:  These guys LOVE school!!!!

From the American-Statesman:
Durant said he pulled down a 3.0 grade-point average in the fall, and he’s still mad about a C he received in a minority leadership course. This is a guy who is so eternally curious, he surfs the Internet constantly. He’s interested in meteorology. Figures, his being in another stratosphere and all. He’s missed one class so far.
Bottom line. He likes school.

Where do I begin American-Statesman “newspaper”?  Nice 3.0 Kevin, too bad that minority leadership course really tripped you up.  What other classes could he be taking?  And could someone explain to me how you get a C in minority leadership?  I am not a minority….or a leader…..and I am positive I could ace this class.  It must have been a tough class though….I mean hell, if a kid who surfs the internet constantly can’t get better then a C then who can?  I surf the Internet constantly, and it has never been linked to me enjoying school. It has been linked (along with my hairy palms and 100$/month tissue bills) to something else entirely.  I’ll skip the meteorology issue because it’s too easy, but I will touch on the “missed one class so far.”  Kevin, when you travel to NYC for the Coaches vs. Cancer games on a Thursday and Friday…they still have classes back in Austin.  Same goes for all your away games during the Big XII.  And then there’s Greg “Undecided” Oden.

Greg Oden had a 3.6 GPA in high school and wanted to be an accounting major in college.  Fantastic Greg!!!  I stand corrected about you, please accept my apology.  Now let’s just take a look at that schedule and make sure you’re on track to get that accounting degree.  Let’s see here…a basketball class…hmmm…sociology 101…history of Rock n’ Roll…where are the rest of the classes Greg? I am not sure I want Mr. Oden doing my taxes this year, but at least now he can rate my IPOD songs. “Hello, Greg, welcome to Ohio State,  I would like you to meet your counselor, Andy Katzenmoyer.” I am sure he wants to get the pre-requisites out of the way before he dives head first into those rigorous accounting courses.  I sure hope Greg loves school, because at this rate, he won’t have enough credits to graduate until 2015.

I am not trying to come down on Durant and Oden.  Dan Patrick put it best when he said that Durant and Oden are geniuses, just on the basketball court, not the classroom.  I agree and think people need to realize that any type of genius, basketball, academics, artistic is to be commended and looked at in awe.

n

Is it good for Durant and Oden to be in college?  Absolutely not, they need to be challenged like anybody who is that far ahead of the curve.  So ball-lickers like Jay Bilas and Dick Vitale need to shut up about how much Durant and Oden love school, because it’s obvious that they don’t take it very seriously and they’re not meant to be in the classroom.  And if they really are wrestling with the decision to stay or leave they need look no further then Billy Walker of Kansas State.  Oh, you’ve never heard of Billy Walker?  He was rated by rivals.com as the #7 recruit in the country, and he would’ve been drafted if he was allowed to go pro out of high school.  Well he averaged 9.5 points per game for the Wildcats, including 19 against USC before he completely blew out his knee just 6 games into the year.  The NBA just cost young Billy a couple million by forcing him to attend college (the consensus is that he would have gone pro if he was allowed.)  Your health is never guaranteed and with Oden and Durant likely to get millions in NBA and endorsement contracts they need to realize that they can take the history of Rock n’ Roll AFTER they’ve cashed in.

-Violent J

Popularity: 1% [?]

Mar
28
2007
0

Free Tibet, Mandela and then Ugueth Urbina

Written by | Visited 4227 times, 22 so far today |

Not only does the toilet water in the southern hemisphere flow backwards but so too does their sense of justice.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Mar
27
2007
0

The Best Thing Eddie Griffin has done since House Party 3

Written by | Visited 4223 times, 22 so far today |

I love Eddie Griffin more than most people.

Popularity: unranked [?]

Mar
26
2007
1

How a Dodgers’ Pitcher Plans to make a Billion Dollars without Ransom or a “LASER”

Written by | Visited 3939 times, 21 so far today |

I am writing this article from my backyard as I am currently digging with one of my larger household spoons. I am looking for signs that my land sits on a rock quarry.

Popularity: 1% [?]

Mar
25
2007
0

Randolph Morris gives up on his Precious Kentucky Degree to Join the New York Knicks

Written by | Visited 3621 times, 18 so far today |

That pussy Miles Brand is about to get what’s coming to him.  I am coming and my left fist thunder and my right lighting are coming with me.  This is the absolute final straw you sanctimonious sons of bitches.

 Randolph Morris became an NBA player no less than 2 weeks after playing his final college game.  I didn’t understand it either, until I realized that Miles Brand is the anti-Christ and he can make up whatever arbitrary rules he chooses.  I foresee a rule in the near future where every good-looking female gymnast will have to give Brand a hand-job before they become eligible. 

Randolph Morris was eligible to be picked up by any NBA basketball team at any time in the last 2 years.  After he declared himself eligible for the 2005 draft, he did not sign with an agent.  He went undrafted that year and returned to Kentucky for 2005 and 2006 and played basketball for the Wildcats.  Conceivably, he could have had a good week at Kentucky, saw his stock rise and signed a deal with an NBA team midseason.  This is just phenomenal, why don’t more people do this?  Why wouldn’t every freshman college basketball player pull this same move?  Two years down the road when the player is NBA ready, they can have a great week, get picked up by and NBA team and get paid. 

This is the same organization that refused to allow professional skier Jeremy Bloom to return to the Colorado Buffaloes football team after Bloom signed an endorsement deal.  Although the deal was related to his ski career and had nothing to do with football, the NCAA fought a lengthy legal battle to ensure that Bloom would not play college football again.  In the same breath, the NCAA allows old balls Chris Weinke to play 6 years of professional baseball before winning the Heisman in 2000.      Hypcorisssssyyyy.

The whole world needs to have a hardy chuckle at these clowns.  Miles, your rules are outdated, biased and in some cases outright absurd.   I encourage all young people at testicle level to give Miles Brand their best Beckham impression and aim at his balls. I also encourage anyone with access to the ebola infected monkeys from Outbreak to throw those bastards at Brand and his NCAA cohorts.  I am working on releasing the snake from Anaconda and the gorillas from Congo in the NCAA office to do a little corporate restructuring of my own.

 

n   

 

The Angry T

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Mar
23
2007
0

Tony La Russa Exposes Himself as Lightweight to Entire Nation

Written by | Visited 3488 times, 20 so far today |

Just when you think you have found an Italian who defies Soprano stereotypes and lives a clean and charitable life, something like this happens. Tony La Russa, lover of animals and apparently scotch, was picked up for drunk driving last night. The good news is he didn

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Mar
22
2007
0

Andy Reid Takes Leave of Absense

Written by | Visited 3471 times, 19 so far today |

Nothing like a Little Heroin and Firearms on a Friday Night

Today is not a very good day for Andy Reid. And I don

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