Anyone who says sports aren’t life and death has a terrible grasp on how important sports are to the average Pakistani cricket fan. I have to give credit where credit is due, and a steaming dump-full of credit goes to Pakistan, for holding its athletes to the highest of standards.

Let me take the guess work out of it for you detective Nahasapemapetalan, this guy was killed by a

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The joke has probably been made around 1900 times by this point, but I need to make it at least one more time: Wait, professional wrestlers are on steroids?

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As you watched non-stop basketball, you were probably thinking the same thing I was: wouldn

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So I went to a funeral this weekend.

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Hopefully, you have seen this headline by now "Giants LB Short takes cover during deadly gunfight." Big surprise NFL, another one of your players was involved in a shootout.  These guys are pathetic, can they go a week without embarrassing their team, family, league and themselves.  No, of course not, because they are all a bunch of Neanderthals running around trying to knock each others head off, on and off the field.  Wait…what’s that?  Brandon Short wasn’t the one firing the shots that killed two off duty police officers? 

Well…I am sure the gunman it was one of his posse.  These guys can’t leave the house without fifteen of their buddies from middle school who act as “security.”  In all actuality, all this security creates more problems, like gunfights with police.  Wait..what?  None of Brandon Short’s friends were involved in the shooting?  Not one, not even a cousin, an aunt, a stepmom? 

Oh okay, well I’ll tell you what, these guys are always going to clubs and bars in terrible areas and then wondering why they end up in trouble.  For shit’s sake, you are a millionaire, why don’t you go to a decent bar in a decent part of town, then maybe every night out wouldn’t end in first degree murder.   Wait…what? Brandon Short was shopping for jewelry for his wife in the Greenwich Village, one of the most affluent parts of Manhattan? 

So you are saying in NFL player was around at the time of a fatal shooting and didn’t fire a shot, didn’t get his posse involved, wasn’t in a bad neighborhood, and was actually a completely innocent bystander?  Well, I stand corrected, maybe the NFL’s “thug stigma” is completely undeserved. I promise to spread my newfound respect for NFL athletes until another incident comes to my attention that changes my opinion, or in other words, until next week.  Either next week, or the next time a stripper or a nun or his own grandmother says or does anything remotely disrespectful to “Pacman” Jones.

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If you don

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