Isaiah Thomas is an optimist if nothing else.

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This is the sort of hard-hitting news that I need NBC, and that is why I love you.  The company that got in on the ground floor of the “runaway success” of Arena Football, NBC sports has provided us with this little niblet from the NFL’s pre-draft camp. 

Apparently, three of the top ten picks in this month’s NFL draft, Amobi Okoye, Calvin Johnson, and Gaines Adams, all admitted to “using” marijuana.  Three things come to mind:

1.  This line of questioning at the pre-draft camp should be forever referred to as the “Charles Rogers Disclaimer.”  That high bastard smoked himself right out of the league after being drafted by the Detroit Lions.  After two season ending collarbone injuries, Chuck hunkered down with a pound of the dank, an industrial size package of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and the entire series of “Aqua Teen Hunger Force” on DVD.  He officially hit rock-bottom when he was released by the Lions following a drug suspension in 2006. After running a 4.9 second 40 yard dash in a recent workout, expect to see Charlie end up on that island from LOST…high as a kite.

2.  If three of the top five picks admitted to smoking marijuana, what do you think happened with the other 300 athletes that were interviewed? Plus, this isn’t a lie detector test, they could have said that not only had they not ever smoked weed, but also that they have a part time job as a drug-sniffing dog at the airport. So did 200 of 300 admit to smoking marijuana? Or was it 250? Either way NFL, take a cue from the NBA and take it off the banned substance list.  If you are playing a sport that requires you to run full speed at someone else who is running full speed at you AND you want to be high while doing it, more power to you pal. 

3. Why does every article referring to marijuana always say someone is “using” marijuana?  What are they doing with it for shits-sake, sewing a pair of pants with a dime bag? 

“Oh Janice, it’s awful, I caught Billy “using” marijuana.  It was helping him do his math homework.  The 1/8th was giving him all the answers to his geometry test, he wasn’t learning anything.  Damn that marijuana.”

 Using? I never understood the phrase.  I am pretty sure you can only do one thing with it, and that’s smoke it.  So say just say “smoking,” media members out there. “Okoye admitted to smoking marijuana.”  See how easy that was Louis Skulnick.     

The Angry T

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Do you remember when you rode your bike down to

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As a Michigan fan, I already hated Joe Crawford, the turncoat Benedict Arnold de-committing jerk-off that plays college basketball at Kentucky.

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In lieu of an article on this fine Shabbats, I give you this video. I have never been more impressed with anything in my life as I am with this parrot. This parrots’ two sport ability is not only unparralled in the parrot world, but also in the human world. From this video alone, you can see that this parrot has more post moves than “Ginger” Swift. I used to think that every dude who owned a bird was a pedophile. I now know that every man who owns a bird could potentially be a very talented pedophile. For your viewing pleasure:

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Doesn

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Please come in Mr. Jones, oh I

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