Thank you Tim Finchem, for finally coming to your senses.  I am sure I am not the only one who noticed that Tim Herron was looking a little bulked up lately. Players that had seen him in the shower has also commented that his testicles were no longer visible, which could be attributed to steroids or the 56 inch waist that could be blocking the view of said testicles. 

In any event, testing for performance enhancing substances on the PGA Tour is long overdue.  He-Men like Corey Pavin and Fred Funk have been turning their back on the games’ integrity for years with their steroid cocktails that allow them to hit the ball well over 250 yards.  Their behavior is reprehensible, and it is about time someone knocked this druggies down a peg.  I have heard stories from guys like Tommy Armour III about Craig Stadler downing glass after glass of beaver tranquilizer.  Jose Canseco even admitted that he injected noted Tour Beefcake Lee Janzen (look at him compared to that normal size man) in the early 90’s. 

Despite those glaring examples of steroid use on tour, Finchem’s Fuqua comes is obviously in direct response to Angel Cabrera’s victory at Oakmont.  Angel “The Duck” Cabrera,  whose nickname is a reference to his superhuman duck-like strength, routinely drove the ball 330+ at Oakmont.  Mark Angel McGwire Carbrera drove the ball 391 yards on 12th hole on Saturday en route to reaching the 667 yard par five in two. Just look at this hulking man beast, he looks like a science experiment for shit’s sake.

I applaud Finchem for his pro-active style. It is something you rarely see in the day and age in sports.  He didn’t wait for the world to view his game as tarnished and his greatest super-star as a cheater to implement a much needed policy.  He didn’t wait for his Defensive Rookie of the Year to test positive for the juice to make a stand.  And he certainly didn’t let a semi-amish dude win his most coveted trophy only to test positive for EPO and electricity.  

I hope Finchem’s pioneer spirit will influence other commissioners to clean up their sport.  Don’t think I missed the fact that Tony Stewart has added a couple inches to his Bi’s or that Pete Weber Jr. can no longer achieve an erection.  Thank you Tim Finchem for saving the ten’s of impressionable children that watch golf.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Popularity: 1% [?]

If Rex Grossman didn’t already know that absolutely no one on his team has any confidence in him, he sure as hell does now.  Tommie Harris was polite enough to point out to a group of reporters how little he values Rex.

Maybe his statement was more a vote of confidence for Donovan McNabb, but to say “We would win the SuperBowl with Donovan McNabb,” when you just lost the SuperBowl with Rex Grossman, is a slap in the face to Rex.  This is not to say that the steady diet of Swirlies and Wedgies that Rex received  last season didn’t tip him off to the fact that he is the team bitch.  The itching powder in the jock combined with the looks of absolute disgust and contempt he received whenever he stepped into the locker room couldn’t have helped either. 

Sure Tommie could have kept his mouth shut and acted professionally, but is there anyone who believes that Grossman is the long term answer at quarterback? I think the equipment manager who had to wash the 342 soiled pairs of football pants with #8 written on the inside tag knows he’s not.  It sure as hell seems that Tommie Harris knows he’s not, and if Tommie knows, so does the rest of the defense. 

Last season, after another trademark Grossman interception, the camera shot to Lance Briggs on the bench.  He was trying to do his best Rex Grossman impression for some teammates and kept closing his eyes and making this limp-wristed throwing motion.  It was hilarious, ubelievably accurate, and sad, because you know that not one person this side of Rex Grossman’s mom thought Rex was any good. 

The good news is, as the article above explains, that Tommie Harris is willing to apologize to Rex.   Of course Tommie will apologize, right after he whips him with a towel in the junk and takes a dump in his locker.

The Angry T

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This one comes from our friends at OurBookofScrap.com. They discovered a website that gives you hundreds of fun options when you are hanging out with your friends and the ol’ Friday Night circle jerk just won’t cut it.

Don’t People Read Anymore?

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Congratulations to the city of Sacramento and their Kings, who have landed Reggie Theus as their coach.  Reggie Theus is a great choice for a number of reasons including but not limited to that moustache. He was a career 18.5 point and 6 assist guy.  He could probably still beat Ronnie Price in 1-on-1, although Price would undoubtedly throw the game if the money was against him.  Second, Theus coached under Rick Pitino at Louisville and then took over the reigns at New Mexico State, where he led them to their first tournament appearance since 1999.  He turned a 5-24 basketball team into a tournament team in two years, this guy can obviously coach.  Third and probably most important, he coached the Deering basketball team, under the pen name "Bill Fuller", to unprecedented success.  Theus was forced to coach a girl, which will help him deal with the often menstruating Ron Artest.  Plus, when the Kings tank this coming season, Theus will have the acting background to at least pretend that he cares that Ronnie Price is point-shaving. It looks like Reggie’s move to leave Deering for Florida Southern after the show’s third season turned out to be a good one.  Congratulations to Bill Fuller and we will see how much coaching talent  he actually has when he doesn’t have Julie draining threes on the wing and Teddy Bear Brodis under the boards.  Tornados Go!!!!

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Popularity: 1% [?]

I know you, like me, scour the internet for videos of jacked Samoans running through walls.

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