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The police are looking for Isaiah Rider, presumably so he can recreate this dunk:
Unfortunately for Rider, they may be looking for a little more than that. “Failure to stop at a limit line”?Everyone knows, including the cops, that regular traffic rules do not apply in the ghetto. Apparently the L.A. police didn’t get the memo.
I find it humorous that the L.A. police think Isaiah Rider, who made 26 million dollars in his career, would need to steal a 2001 Monte Carlo. I saw the OJ trial Furman and company, I know how you railroad black athletes in that town. Don’t worry J.R. this will all be cleared up soon, and you can get back to smoking blunts to your face and kidnapping people.
Written by admin | Visited 862 times, 12 so far today |
Remember when Rush Limbaugh was on ESPN? It’s cool if you don’t. You could have missed it if you blinked or yawned or were addicted to and arrested for painkillers (too soon?).
If you’re worried that by missing Rush on ESPN you missed some seminal moment in pop culture or intellectual though, don’t worry, the only thing he did of note was say this about Donovan McNabb: “overrated … The media has been very desirous that a black quarterback can do well…There’s a little hope invested in McNabb, and he got a lot of credit for the performance of his team that he didn’t deserve.â€
Fast forward to the last couple years. McNabb gets hurt and some competent QB who got plastic surgery to look like Jeff Garcia (if you’re a Lions or Browns fans, you know there’s no way that was actually him) leads the Eagles to the playoffs. The Eagles draft Kevin Kolb in the second round. McNabb comes back, supposedly doesn’t play well, and Eagles fans and media types spend hours every week skewering him and saying he’s done with the Eagles. But what if I bet you $1000 of Angry T’s (the person not the site) hard-earned money that the media has decided they want to invest in seeing him viewed negatively the same way Rush said they invested in building him up? You’d probably take that bet because you’d use the arguments I mentioned above to show that he really isn’t that good. Before you take my money, take a look at this…a comparison between McNabb and John Elway.
Here are Elway’s career stats:
Now take a look at McNabb’s career stats:
McNabb’s first nine years are significantly better than Elway’s in completion percentage, touchdowns thrown, interceptions thrown and QB rating. Up until the 2005 season, McNabb was Philadelphia’s golden boy, so we’ll compare his numbers since that time to the same portion of Elway’s career, seasons 7-9 of his career (1989-1991).
Completion %: Elway 55.4%, McNabb 59.5%
Pass Yards/year: Elway 3277, McNabb 2826
TD Pass/year: Elway 15.3, McNabb 17.7
Int/year: Elway 14.7, McNabb 7.3
Avg. QBRating: Elway 75.9, McNabb 90.1
Games missed: Elway 1, McNabb 15
Super Bowl Wins to this point in their careers: 0
Go back to those stats above, if a 32 year old McNabb throws 10 TDs and 17 interceptions, how quick do you think we will be shown the door? I don’t think I am breaking new ground in saying that media scrutiny of athletes has grown exponentially in the last 20 years. Every mistake that McNabb makes is put front and center on any number of clips shows and periodicals. As a Detroit Lions fan, nothing would make my happier than to see an All-Pro like McNabb in a Honolulu blue and silver jersey, but in Philadelphia, it seems that better than Elway simply isn’t enough.
So why does everyone talk about Elway like he was great every second of his career and McNabb like he’s headed for Arena Football? Is it because of “The Drive?†Well McNabb had “4th and 26†which you could argue is more impressive because it involved Freddie Mitchell catching a meaningful pass. Is it because Elway had been to 3 Super Bowls already? Herm Edwards has an answer for that. Elway didn’t win one for another 6 years. I’ll leave those stats open for you to interpret, but I don’t see why McNabb is a has-been at this point. In fact, if you look at a side-by-side comparison of each season of their careers up to that point, McNabb is better every year. We all know what Elway did from then on, so I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss ol’ Donovan if I were you.
I bet you wish you wouldn’t have taken that bet. You can send the $1000 directly to me, Rush…if you still have that much lying around.
Maybe this is just a publicity stunt, or maybe Jon Secrist can pitch a little bit. Either way, I am impressed with this guy, and his mustache. If you are going to be a guy that plays minor league baseball at age 53, you have to have some strong facial fair, and Secrist certainly has that.
Jesse Orosco – Orosco played 24 major league seasons for seven major league teams and retired at the ripe old age of 46. He finished his career as the career leader for games pitched and number of 84 miles per hour fastballs thrown. (Since his retirement, Greg Maddux has broken the 84 mph record) For many of those seasons, he was as elated to being playing baseball as the picture below would indicate.
Thomas Flynt – Flynt became the oldest player to ever lace up the cleats for a college football game we he played last season for Sul Ross State at age 59 years old. If I am still alive at age 59, I guarantee I won’t be playing football.
George Blanda – George Blanda played QB, linebacker and kicker in his 26 year NFL career. He also holds the record for most interceptions thrown in a single season with 42. He was only 35 at that point, so I refuse to accept the excuse that his advanced age, poor eyesight and or fragile hips as contributing factors in his interception totals.
Julio Franco – Julio began playing major league baseball in 1982 and retired at the end of the 2007 season. We all know how accurate birth records are in the Dominican Republic, so he probably retired at age 68, rather than his listed age of 48. Julio Franco became the oldest pinch runner in the league history when he entered the game for Carlos Delgado on July 29, 2006. I have to imagine that Carlos was slightly ashamed that a man 14 years his senior. If not, he should have been.
( The cameras that could capture color were not invented when Julio began his baseball career)
Steve DeBerg – Steve had enjoyed a semi-successful career as a quarterback when he retired at age 39 in 2003. Even though he retired from the game, “The California Dream,†as he was known by his female admirers, kept himself in great shape, and eventually returned, at age 44, to play 8 games for the Atlanta Falcons in 1998. I would like to take this opportunity that let you know that Steve is in no way related to Chris DeBurgh, creator of this musical masterpiece.
Minnie Minoso – Apparently, Minnie had some standing deal with the White Sox where he could come back and play a few games every few years if he wanted to. He played his first game in 1949 and played his last game 31 years later as a 54 year old in 1980.
Satchel Paige – Satchel was already 41 when he finally suited up in the major leagues. He pitched his final game at 58, throwing 3 scoreless innings for the Kansas City Athletics
Gordie Howe – Gordie played his final season at age 52. He played just long enough to make old, gray haired people feel useful again, if only for a fleeting moment.
Kevin Willis – Most people don’t know that Kevin’ s elbow pads had magical powers that allowed him to play until age 44.
Chris Chelios – Even though he has only scored 11 goals and 74 total points in the last five years, Chris keeps plugging along and accruing more gray hair. (Although he may be taking Keith Hernadez’s advice and using Just for Men)
Oscar Swahn – Oliver became the oldest man ever to win an Olympic medal when he won silver in the “Team Shooting Deer†event at the 1920 Games in Antwerp. He looks to have keep himself in great shape though, it’s no wonder he could pull off this nearly impossible feat.
George Foreman – Foreman fought his last professional fight against Shannon Briggs at the age of 48. Personally, I am more impressed with that grill that I am his victory over Michael Moorer.
Saoul Mamby – At age 60, Mamby recently became the oldest boxer to ever fight in a sanctioned match when he lost to Anthony Osboune on decision in the Cayman Islands. Before he was sanctioned to fight at age 60, the California State athletic commission forced him into retirement following a string of losses at age 52.
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How about that Erin Andrews huh? She is one attractive lady, there are no two ways about it. But you know how these things go, you’re hot one day, and the next day you’re…well in her case she will still be hot, but there will be another Erin Andrews. (although probably by a different name)
What would the next sideline reporter / internet phenomenon be like? I think Erin knows her stuff when it comes to sports, so the next Erin would have to be knowledgeable. Erin worked for FSN and Turner Sports covering the Braves and Hawks before she worked for ESPN, so, a little sports experience would be key characteristic for the next Erin. Erin has also enjoyed her fair share of longevity. It has been four years since she joined ESPN and she is still relevant and college coaches still clamor to feel her up. Finally, Erin is very attractive, which in terms of her star power, might be her most important asset.
It looks as if we have put together four characteristics of the next Erin: Knowledge, Experience, Staying Power, and Hotness. Through strenuous research, I have put together a short list of the candidates to eventually unseat Erin, or simply rule the land of hot sideline reporters beside Erin. We have given each candidate ascore in our four categories so we can determine our winner:
(Just so you know, I am double-weighting hotness when I give these ladies grades. Let’s be 200 percent honest, a sideline reporter that becomes a national sensation must be very attractive, so if we are looking for the next Erin, we better make sure she is damn attractive. Also, I tried to find people that weren’t already household names. Shelley Smith has already had her chance to become a sensation, her time has passed. You too Holly Rowe…and you Doris Burke)
Knowledge: 5 – Even though she was at the Super Bowl this year, she could probably stand to brush up on her knowledge of American sports.
Experience: 7 – She already hosts a sports show and even though it is in Spanish, it counts for something.
Staying Power: 4- The fact that she speaks Spanish, rather than English, could limit her ability to participate in the big telecasts. However, very long term, when the entire United States speaks English, she could be a force. Although, by then she will probably be old and unattractive.
Knowledge: 10 – Molly hosts several video casts on ESPN on a number of subjects each week. Her knowledge is unparalleled among candidates on this list.
Staying Power: 8 – With her experience, I don’t see why she can’t have the same staying power as Andrews.
Hotness: 8 x 2
Total Score: 41
Jennifer Hedger: TSN’s SportsCentre – The video below taken when Jennifer was on the Canadian reality shower The Lofters. (Similar to the Real World, but Canadian)
Knowledge: 8 – Jennifer hosts the Canadian version of SportsCenter, so I would guess that she knows her shit.
Experience: 9 – Jennifer has loads of experience making out with chicks, and as the host of a national sports highlight show.
Staying Power: 9 – She has already been employed by TSN for six years, so staying power has not been a problem thus far. At 32, she is still is in her prime.
Hotness: 8 x 2 – Another very attractive woman, as the same time, she doesn’t give my lower extremities that special tingle like Ines Sainz does.
Total Score: 42
Charity Hodges – Host of SpeedTV’s Nopi Tunervision, the number #1 show on the SpeedTV (If Charity Hodges isn’t a great porn name, I don’t know what is)
Here she is at work:
Knowledge: 5 – I am sure she knows a lot about racing, but I can’t imagine she is a sports aficionado outside of motorsports.
Experience: 6 – This is her third season hosting this racing show, so she must be doing something right.
Staying Power: 7 – It would take me a significant amount of time for me to get tired of seeing her chesticles.
Hotness: 9 x 2– I am not 100 percent sold on her face, but her body is fantastic, presumably because of a couple of cosmetic enhancements.
Total Score: 36
Jenn Sterger –Was in Playboy, FSU and South Florida Jersey Chaser
Grades:
Knowledge: 5 – She has been to enough games in an attempt to get on television that she probably accrued a little bit of sports knowledge.
Experience: 5 – I have to assume, since she was in playboy, that she has a significant amount of “experience.”
Staying Power: 4 – If she stood next to Lynn Swann or Michele Tafoya while they gave their sideline report, I probably wouldn’t get tired of her. However, I have a feeling that she would get old very quickly if she had to open her mouth.
Hotness: 10 x 2 – It may be plastic, but it’s fantastic.
Total Grade: 34
Shana Hiatt – Was in Playboy, Host of the World Poker Tour, Poker after Dark, and National Heads Up Poker Championship.
Knowledge- 5 – She probably knows a lot about poker, and everyone likes poker, so she gets a 5.
Experience – 7 –She hosted the World Poker Tour for three years so she won’t embarrass herself when she gets in front of the camera
Staying Power –5 – Pluses – She has been on the Maxim Top 100 and she hosted that show that I didn’t watch for three years. Minuses – She is no longer hosting that Poker show I didn’t watch, so maybe she is losing her luster.
Hotness – 9 x2
Final Grade: 35
AND THE WINNER IS….
Based on our grades Jennifer Hedger is the winner, but based on her ass, I am going to nominate Ines Sainz as the next Erin Andrews, even though she doesn’t speak English.
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If you were growing up playing baseball like I was in the 90’s, you have perfected the following Major League pitching motions:
1. Hideo Nomo
2. Dennis Eckersley
3. Mike Fetters
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4. Todd Jones
Ok, so maybe only people from Detroit and Houston know Jones’ deliberate set where he rests his hand in his glove just below that wonderful beer belly before the compact leg kick and throwing motion unleash 90 mph of straight nasty at the hitter.
Todd Jones turns 40 today, and it’s great to see a boy become a man right before my eyes.
The Fu Manchu has gotten a little thicker, the gold chains and floral pattern button downs have been replaced with silver chains and animal prints, but some things about Jones remain the same. The man nicknamed “The Rollercoaster” has made the 9th inning enjoyable at times and nightmarish at others. But for Tiger’s fans, Jones 100% save percentage in the 2006 playoff run showed us that he was a guy who was reliable when the games really mattered. As the Todd Jones continues his hot start (2.25 ERA, 100% save conversion), we honor the man turning 40 by ranking the top 9 Rollercoaster’s in the world.
Millennium Force- Cedar Pointe- Sandusky OH
Steel Dragon 2000- Nagashima Spa Land Amusement Park- Mie Prefecture, Japan
The Incredible Hulk Coaster-Islands of Adventure- Orlando FL
Expedition GeForce- Holiday Park – Hassloch,Rheinland-Pfalz, Germany
Superman-Ride of Steel- Six Flags New England- Agawam, Massachusetts
X- Six Flags Magic Mountain – Valencia, CA
Kingda Ka- Six Flags Great Adventure – Jackson, NJ
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