The Williams’ sisters were treated to a free show at the Australian Open on Friday. A streaker hoped the fence and did a little jig in front of Serena and Venus during a break in their doubles match.

The video of said jig say yet to be released, but I can show you these videos:

and here is he exiting the court:

While you’ve probably seen that video, you might not have seen the quotes from Serena, which read out of context would lead you to believe that Serena and this dude got down right on the baseline:

“I saw him jump over and then I noticed he didn’t have underwear on. I thought ‘Okay, I must be seeing things’,” Williams told reporters after beating China’s Peng Shuai in singles on Saturday.

“Then he disappeared, and I was like ‘Okay, so he’s not coming’. But then I saw him, he recovered I guess, and ran out on the court.

“I was thinking, I hope he doesn’t come, because he was pretty close to me and V (Venus).

“I was like, I hope he doesn’t come, he’s too close. I thought, ‘this is crazy’.

Fear not, you gutter minded tennis fan, she continued:

Williams said she had never really feared for her safety but did admit the incident left her with a bad case of the giggles.

“In those type of moments, it seems really long, but it was weird,” she said. “It was just funny and everyone was laughing…it was interesting.”

I’m sure she was nervous about talking about the streaker, but could she finish a quote without making a veiled reference to his guys wiener?

The Angry T

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I felt the same way, but with the opposite emotion, when my Lions dreamed the impossible dream of a 0-16 season. My tears were tears of joy. Hopefully you watched until the end of this video, despite how painful and awkward it was, to see the crying man’s friend try to yell some sense into him.  Of course, in such an emotional situation, his noble attempt to calm his friend failed and he continued to cry until about 15 minutes ago.

The above reactions is around twice as childish as this little guy’s tantrum following the Ohio State / Texas game:

And the above two reactions combined are almost as childish as this reaction (Language NSFW)

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Yes, she did have a child five months ago.

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I’m not sure if you’ve seen it, but everyone says that Gran Torino is a fantastic movie.  I would go to the theater and check it out, but my dad ruined the ending for me about a week while gushing about how much he loved the movie.

In any event, I hear that Eastwood’s car, a Gran Torino, figures prominently into the movie.

That car looks fairly fun to drive and it got me thinking about my greatest driving experiences. Since I’ve owned a Ford Taurus and Ford Fusion, my greatest driving experiencea have to be gathered from the world of video games.  In honor of the warn out buttons on my Nintendo, Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis controllers, we present the best racing video games of all-time.

Pole Position – Atari:

F-Zero- Super Nintendo – I almost forgot how awesome this music was/is:

Ivan Stewart’s Off Road – Arcade - You had the steering wheel and the pedals on this stand-up off-road arcade racer.  I would have lived at the arcade to play this game if my parents would have let me.  The only thing that bothered me was that occasionally Ivan Stewart’s grey car just beat the hell out of everyone.  He went two times as fast as your car could go and we would lap everyone.  I know its your game Ivan, but you don’t have to be a prick.

RC Pro-Am – Nintendo

Rad Racer – Nintendo – No one does it like Lucas:

Road Rash – Sega Genesis – Simply the best motorcycle racing game ever:

Top Gear 2 – Super Nintendo

Days of Thunder – NES - If you didn’t like the game, you can at least enjoy this nerd’s commentary in the video:

Outrun – Sega Genesis - I always thought that that chick with the flowing locks in the passenger seat weighed the car down and eventually led to me being caught by police.

Uniracers – SNES - This was a pretty solid game, despite the fact that you were racing unicycles instead of cars or space ships.

Excite Bike – NES

Gran Turismo 1 – Playstation – Since it was released in 1997, this game isn’t exactly old school.  However, I refuse to make a list of the best racing games ever without putting this game on the list. I can distinctly remember whipping my controller against the wall in anger after failing to gain my “International Liscene” for the 137th time in a row.  There was a real sense of accomplishment when I finally did recieve the liscene, even if I did have to miss three straight weeks of school and repeat the 9th grade, for the second time, to get it.

UPDATE:

I don’t like the fact that I left off Cruisin’ USA – Arcade:

Or Mario Kart for SNES:

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Behold the power of Jarrett Johnson:

Make sure you look at the bottom of the screen after the dunk and watch #44 run down the sidelines to give high fives to fans.  As the poster of this video notes, not a single one of the dunkee’s teammates attempts to help him up.

Merriam Webster has also ammended the definition of “Nuts on Chin,” to include a video of this dunk.

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What is a commode with legs and what does it have to do with former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain?  Well, its just that John, in the midst of laying off workers and slashing costs at Merrill used $1.2 million dollars to decorate his office.  $35,000 of that $1.2 million was used to purchase a commode with legs, which looks something like this, although I imagine a $35,000 version is a bit more regal:

He also spent $87,000 on an area rug, but I’m more here to discuss the toilet.  If I had $1.2 million to play with,  I would have gone with a toilet that cost at least half of that, or more. He will have a bunch of time shop for toilets, since Bank of America let him go this morning.

Here’s John Thain, after looking at this guy for five seconds, is there any doubt he’s a douche:

He also looks like he’s made of plastic

We have scoured the online marketplace to check out some other types of toilets that John:

The Solid Gold Toilet - Yes John, this toilet is made out of solid gold.  It will go perfectly with your diamond shoes and dumps that smell like crisp $100 bills.  The best news is that with gold currently priced at around $850/oz, this toilet would cost around $27 dollars, or about the GDP of Sri Lanka.

NASA’s Space Toilet – John, anyone can make a toilet out of gold, but very few people have a toilet fashioned by Russian Cosmonauts, with a price tag of $19 million.  Also, if we decide to kick you off the planet, which I believe is punishment for fashioning a $1.2 million dollar bathroom on the company dime, you could use this toilet to poop in space.

Moon River Art Toilet – This one might be perfect for you John, it’s a toilet carved out of a mountain at a cost of $602,000 American dollars.  You could even buy the mountain and pee on the entire thing if you want.

Here is the sign for the men’s room:

(I believe those are balls)

Jackson Pollock No.5 1948 - Now here me out on this one John, I know this is actually a painting, and a $140 million dollar one at that.  However, with your penchant for expensive things, I figured that you would want to the first person to take a dump on a Jackson Pollock. Think about it.

The United States Constitution - I figured that since you decorated your $1.2 million dollar office while you were cutting costs and laying people off at Merrill Lynch, you might want to slap the entire United States of America in the face.  What better way to insult the American populace to peeing on the Constitution?

The Angry T

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