A quick hypothetical.  Say you inherit a time machine.  You have the chance to go back and see any sporting event ever.  What would you choose?  A great individual performance?  A great game? A funny event? Something that broke down barriers?  We have a little of everything in our chronological list.

1920– World Series Game 5

Brooklyn Dodgers vs. Cleveland Indians.  Early in the game, Cleveland’s Elmer Smith hit the first Grand Slam in the history of the World Series.  The fans thought they had witnessed history, and they were right.  But, later in the game, that “history” was amplified.  In the fifth inning, a feat occurred which has still never been seen again in World Series history.  With a man on first and second and no outs, Clarence Mitchell lined a ball straight into the glove of Bill Wambsganss who touched second base and tagged the runner from first.  The first ever unassisted triple play.  No team has done it in a World Series since.  Bill Wambsganss did it by himself.

1936– Summer Olympics

Whether it was in the USA or Germany, Jesse Owens had it rough in 1936.  All because he was black.  He stuck it to both FDR and Hitler with perhaps the most impressive Olympics individual performance ever.  Despite all the things he had to overcome, Jesse Owens left Berlin with four gold medals, and perhaps more impressively, the admiration of the German people.

1973– Belmont Stakes

With few competitors, Secretariat was a huge favorite in the 1973 Belmont Stakes in his quest for the Triple Crown.  However, what happened that day in Baltimore, will never be forgotten by horse racing fans.  Secretariat put up a time that has still never been beaten.  He beat his nearest competitor by 31 lengths, a mind boggling number.  Sure, they’re just horses.. but Secretariat’s performance may be the most dominant of all-time.

1974– Notre Dame vs. UCLA (Basketball)
Honorable mention: 1957– Notre Dame vs. Oklahoma (Football)

As much as it pains to me to admit Notre Dame success, they stopped two of the most impressive college team streaks ever.  UCLA had won 88 consecutive basketball games.  Oklahoma had won 47 consecutive football games.  Notre Dame beat them both.  To see the faces of teams on both sides would be something worth going back for.

Rockets vs. Lakers – December 9th, 1977 – 1:45 mark, you’ll see why.

1979– Magic vs. Bird

From Notre Dame to Michigan State, I feel like I need to take a shower.  To see two of the truly greats in college basketball play in a national championship would be awesome.  To know that it was only a sign of things to come… priceless.

1980– Miracle on Ice

Sure, you wouldn’t get to hear Al Michael’s famous call.  But, as great as the Oklahoma football and UCLA basketball streaks were, it’s hard to imagine anything ever matching the dominance of the Russian hockey team at the time.  On top of their team dominance, the Russians had some of the best players in the world.  Add in the political ramifications, and this has to be at the top of almost any American’s list.

February 11, 1990, Tokyo, Japan - The day the invincible became vincible:

1993– Jim Abbott No-Hitter

When you think about the great individual performances of all-time, this game probably doesn’t come to mind.  But, it should.  Jim Abbott was born without a left hand.  He accomplished some amazing things in his life, but nothing more impressive than this no-hitter.

Any fight invovling Riddick Bowe: But especially these two, because Bowe’s handlers beat the hell out of people in both of these videos:

(three minute mark) I will never forget the guy who comes in flailing the walkey talkey:

1993– AFC Wild Card Game (Bills vs. Oilers)

Simply known as “The Comeback,” this game is one of few good playoff memories Buffalo Bills have of the early 1990s.  The Oilers had a 35-3 lead in the third quarter… and lost.  Scoring 32 in the second half, the Bills forced overtime where they won on a Warren Moon interception that set up a short field goal.  The Oilers would get their revenge in the 21st century in the form of the Titans and the Music City Miracle.

1997– Anaheim Mighty Ducks game

It was a regular season game.  Why in the world is it on the list?  Lucy Lawless is why.

2003– First Round, NBA Playoffs (Mavericks vs. Trailblazers)

No one really remembers the final score.  But, they’ll always remember this.

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If you’ve made it to this site, you no doubt have at least a casual interest in sports.  If you read this site you probably have absolutely nothing to do, which may mean you’re unemployed.  If you are unemployed, or have a job that you hate, and you have at least a casual interest in sports, I have a website that you just have to check out. TheFieldJobs.com is the perfect place for sports enthusiasts to find jobs in sports.  They post jobs in sports from everything from the recreational level to the professional level.   I encourage you to read the press release below and visit the if for nothing else than to apply for the job of  NBA Dance Team Outfit Remover.  Keep looking, it’s on there.

Palo Alto, CA – The Field Jobs is proud to announce the launch of a new web portal - www.TheFieldJobs.com – dedicated to finding jobs and careers in the sports, fitness, and recreation industries. Starting a career in sports, fitness or recreation can often be a very challenging task and The Field Jobs is here to help.

To help its users understand the challenges of starting a career in sports The Field team has dedicated a great deal of time to building a job resource section which is found at www.thefieldjobs.com/job_resource that deals directly with the specific challenges in these industries.

For example, the transition to a job in sports, fitness or recreation often requires accepting certain changes which The Field Jobs explains in detail in an article about switching careers which its users can read at http://www.thefieldjobs.com/switch_careers. Also, many people struggle with adapting to the fast paced and sometimes under-manned world of sports jobs and The Field Jobs offers key advice on how to hit the ground running which can also be read at http://www.thefieldjobs.com/start_fast.

Additionally, The Field Jobs has a unique attraction that no other Sports, Fitness or Recreation job board has a team of bloggers who work in the sports industry. These bloggers post on a regular basis to http://www.thefieldjobs.com/blog_team and talk about what it is like to work in sports, fitness and recreational industries. They share how they found their dream jobs and offer glimpses of what it is like to work in sports on a daily basis.

The Field Jobs also offers its users to post their resumes for employers to search by visiting http://resumes.thefieldjobs.com/. In addition to helping users find jobs The Field Jobs also allows employers to post positions through a simple two step process found at http://thefieldjobs.com/post/.

The Field Jobs will be making many more changes in the next few months so fans of sports, fitness and recreation should constantly be checking out the new jobs posted on a daily basis at http://www.thefieldjobs.com/jobs/sports .

About The Field Jobs

The Field Jobs is run by a dedicated team of sports enthusiasts who work in sports industries. The Field is dedicated to helping its users find an exciting new sports, fitness or recreation career. For questions please send an email to support@TheFieldJobs.com

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I don’t know if this is the best promotion of all-time, but its definitely the best possible thing you could receive with a car, besides one of these incredibly stylish mo-fo’s.  For a limited time, Mitsubishi dealers in New Zealand are offering a free goat with purchase of this luxury New Zealandish automobile called the Triton ute:

Based on the looks of that thing above, I think I rather ride one of these guys:

Aesthetically speaking, I prefer the ultra-modern styling of the goat to the ultra-modern styling of the truck.   Mitsubishi marketing manager Peter Wilkins not only came up with this brilliant scheme, he also knows a lot about goats:

“Goats improved farm productivity by defending against weeds, were cheaper than toxic sprays, and there was no risk of goat flu affecting the tourism industry.”

Of course, this offer begs the question that most goat enthusiasts like myself just have to ask, “What if I already have enough goats?” Don’t worry purveyors of “Goat Fancy Magazine,” Peter Wilkins has a answer for you.

If the purchaser already had enough goats, Mitsubishi would supply a no-goat package including a five-year/100,000km extended warranty, five free warrant of fitness inspections, 5000km road user charges, five years of roadside assistance and $500 of genuine or approved Triton accessories.

First and foremost, are goats worth more than $500? According to my medieval bartering handbook a goat is worth roughly the same as three loaves of bread. Here’s what I do, I trade the $500 in Triton accessories, and buy 3 more goats.  Trade the free warrant of fitness inspections for a donkey and trade the 5oookm road user charges (whatever the hell that means) for a pony and start a stable.  Basically, purchase of Triton = instant stable, which as all those rich people that flock to Lexington in April every year know = instant ticket into high society.  I’m on the next plane to Queensland.

The Angry T

Now that you’ve read that fantastic piece of journalism, check out the video below featuring the Sklar Brothers:

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Floridian’s are Crazy (Tasty Booze)
The Birdman (Mac G’s World)
Simona Halep and her Hotness (Busted Coverage)
Best Rookie Touchdown Moves (Brahsome)
Poise Under Pressure (Loser with Socks)
Prison Guard gets knocked up by Inmate (BOH)
How will David Stern fix a Cavs comeback (Cuzoogle)
This guy sucks at BullFighting (Don Chavez)
How many Wings Does it Take to Lift a Cup (SportsUnion)
Folded Paper Art (Micklanders)
Freddie Prinze Jr. as the next Jack Bauer (Unreality)

Now that you’ve read that fantastic piece of journalism, check out the video below featuring the Sklar Brothers:

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Quick, go to amazon.com.  Now, get out your credit card and immediately purchase this book.  NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!  Don’t worry about what’s in it, and make sure you don’t read this article,because then it will be fairly obvious that this self-absorbed prick is finally delusional enough to think that something like this would be clever.  And it might be, assuming this guy was clever outside of writing lyrics or making people believe he’s a huge douche.  Can anyone tell me why a 52-page book with blank pages needed to be co-written?  That’s right folks, this “genius” needed who penned all of 52 pages, some of which were left blank, needed another dude to help him finish his masterpiece.  Well enough about that clown, well, it will be enough right after I post one line of Kanye’s thoughts on his book:

“Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed,” West said. “I am not a fan of books. I would never want a book’s autograph.

Okay, my head is going to explode, so let’s get to the point of this article.  Kanye wrote down 52 pages of thoughts filled with his “wisdom,” which reminded me that athletes are often trying to extend their wisdom to the masses.  Most confuse the fact that they are fantastic athletically with the idea that they are fantastic mentally.  In honor of Kanye, let’s take a look at some athlete quotes that would make him look like a college graduate.

25. “The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs.  You can’t say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them.  Somebody actually saw Adam and Eve.  No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex.”—Carl Everett

24. Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.”—David Thompson

23. “I’ve been dunked on by (Vitaly) Potapenko and now (Zan) Tabak.  The good part is that they don’t make posters of those guys.”—Houston Rockets’ Walt Williams

22. “Well, Rickey’s not one of them, so that’s 49 percent right there.”—Rickey Henderson on reports that 50 percent of ballplayers use steroids.

21. “Left hand, right hand, it doesn’t matter. I’m amphibious.”—N.C. State basketball player Charles Shackleford

20. Shaquille O’Neal: “I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I’m very intelligent when I speak.”

19.  We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all our games are played indoors.”—Basketball player Weldon Drew

18. “I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all them kids to
copulate me.” Andre Dawson

17. “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” Joe Theismann

16.“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” Senior basketball player on Pitt

15.”He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” Trainer Lou Dovaon Andrew Golota.

14. “My wiener has never been so exhausted.”  NASCAR’s Kurt Buschafter outlasting three other drivers to win the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile race at Lowe’s Motor Speedway

13. “Defensively, I think it’s important for us to tackle.”
-Karl Mecklenburg, Denver Broncos linebacker, before Super Bowl XXIV

I really like this one:

12. “Unstoppable, baby!”
-Warrior rookie Marc Jackson to the Mavericks’ bench, after hitting a lay-up during a 29-point loss.

11.”I’m glad you’re doing this story on us and not on the WNBA. We’re so much prettier than all the other women in sports.”
-Martina Hingis in Detour Magazine, 3/98 issue.

You’ve just got to love those Italians don’t you?

10. “I really lack the words to compliment myself today.”
-Skier Alberto Tomba

9. “That’s close. Or maybe it’s just a burning sensation when you pee,” Salo said. “You never know.”  Calgary Flame Sami Salo on whether his injury was a knee, or ankle.

8.  “I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that.” -Jerry Rice

7.  Sorry, I don’t know much about you. I don’t follow tennis.” -Christina Aguilera to Tiger Woods, after he told her “I love your music.”

6. “They should have focused more on me.” – Sebastian Telfair on
the ESPN documentary “Through the Fire” about him.

5. “Ray Lewis is the type of guy, if he were in a fight with a bear I wouldn’t help him, I’d pour honey on him because he likes to fight. That’s the type of guy Ray Lewis is.”  Shannon Sharpe on Ray Lewis

4. “The reason we call that pitch up and in is because the arms are attached to the shoulder.” – TimMcCarver.

3. “The sun has been there for 500, 600 years … “ – Mike Cameron

2.  “Having a record company and putting out my own CD. There’s clothes and shoes. There’s also an upcoming
book deal that I’m trying to do. I’m trying to be positive. I’m a big fan of the Nobel Peace Prize.” – Ron Artest

There probably aren’t too many guys in sports that purport to know a lot about a certain subject yet consistently baffle the listener with absolutely non-sensical  prattle that is supposed to pass for his “expertise.”

In honor of Tim, here are two of my favorite McCarverisms:

1A.“Roy Oswalt is a drop and drive pitcher. What is a drop and drive pitcher? He is a guy who drops and drives. Very simple.” – Tim McCarver

1.“Well, David Eckstein, like most of us, has 20 digits. Ten fingers. Ten toes.” –Tim McCarver

Now that you’ve read that fantastic piece of journalism, check out the video below featuring the Sklar Brothers:

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I was checking out these pictures earlier today and I was shocked to learn they weren’t from 20 years ago.  In fact, they were taken recently at a photo shoot for the supermarket chain, Spar.

Let’s take a look at how Cindy has changed or not changed, in the last 20 years, by bodily region:

Frontal

Then:

Now:

Laying Down

Then:

Now:

From the Back:

Then:

Now:

From the Side:

Then:

Now:

The Verdict:

At age 43, she’s still damn fine, but I’ll take my chances with late 20’s Cindy.  However, I bet she’s a lot richer now, which would afford me many great sugar-momma oppurtunities.

Me: “Cindy, can I pleasssse get this hovercraft?

Cindy: “No, T, you cannot get another hovercraft after crashing your first too.”

Me:”Really? I’ll give you that sweet blogger lovin’ that you can’t live without.”

Cindy: “In that case, here’s my credit card.  Sports bloggers are the most sexual adept men I’ve ever met.”

Me: “Damn straight.”

The Angry T

Now that you’ve read that fantastic piece of journalism, check out the video below featuring the Sklar Brothers:

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I’m fairly sure you already know this, but I think the capitalization is still quite necessary, THE COLLEGE SOFTBALL WORLD SERIES IS FINALLY UPON US. In honor of this momentous event, we should do something special. Most people liked when we took at look at the lovely ladies of softball in this post last year.  So, because we don’t have a creative bone in our bodies, and looking at hot chicks is fun, we’ve decided to run that little idea back.  Here are the results.

Arizona’s Sarah Akamine:

Michigan Outfielder Megan Gregory

Sam Bannister INF Arizona

K’Lee Arredondo #7 SS Arizona

Let’s also give some props to the hot chicks who bowed out in the Super Regionals:

Sydney Wilson – Baylor

(in the middle)

Jenny Isham – Baylor- P

Christy Jones – Georgia Tech – OF/2B

Many more pics of Christy can be found here.

Whitney Baker – P- UCLA

Amy Crawford – UCLA – OF

(on the right)

Donna Kerr – UCLA – P

I love UCLA and hope to god that at least one of the teams in the World Series comes down with the measles (ala the Panthers in the first Mighty Ducks movie) and allows the Bruins to sneak into the World Series.

The Angry T

Now that you’ve read that fantastic piece of journalism, check out the video below featuring the Sklar Brothers:

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