I don’t care if it’s pathetic. I don’t care if its heinous or if you find it disgusting.  The only thing I care about is that each and every one of these pictures makes me laugh and if you are dumb enought to pass out around terrible people, you probably deserve this:

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I love drunk people, especially myself when writing this article.

The Angry T

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Fans of SI HotClicks, and this blog, are well aware of the ongoing hot girlfriend battle between John Mayer and Derek Jeter.  (And don’t forget to check out Round 2) If you’ve really been paying attention, you might even remember Cristiano Ronaldo threw his hat in the ring with his really hot girlfriend line-up. While all these men have impressive stables,  I think its time to recognize a nearly 50 year old man for what he is: a stone cold pimp. Meet Jorge Clooney, star of Ocean’s 11-13.  He recently picked up a Sardinian model and tv presenter Elisabetta Canalis, among many other hotties over the years.  Take a look.

Feast your eyes on Elisabetta Canalis:

Nice work George, but this is really nothing new for you.  You’ve been doing this for years.  Let’s take a look through your portfolio.

Sarah Larson – Cocktail waitress at the Palms

Another cocktail waitress Lucy Wolver

Rumored to have dated Michelle Pfieffer

90’s Michell Pfieffer

Rumored to have dated Pink

Actress Talia Balsum

Maybe a swing and a miss there.

80’s Kelly Preston

How does that taste Travolta?

Waitress Celine Balitran.  He really loves those bar maids.

The thing you really have to respect about Clooney is that if you go from the top of this list to the bottom of this list, you’re going back in time around 25 years.  Sure Jeter’s picking up the Minka Kelly’s of the world now, but let’s see if he is pulling like that he is when he’s 48.  Let’s see if John Mayer is still picking up the Jennifer Aniston’s of the world the allure of the Mayer face wears off.  Let’s see if Cristiano Ronaldo…well I have to imagine that his skin will look and feel to smoky link by the time he turns 30 if he keeps up this pace.

Do you think Clooney measures up to the greats like Mayer and Jeter?

The Angry T

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Here is your 1500m women’s world champion.  She’s hot, in fantastic shape, and Italian, which makes her around 11 times hotter than normal women.

In case you haven’t seen her before, she looks like this:

Alessia Filippi’s lovely behind

Alessia Filippi’s Loveliness in the Swimming Pool

Alessia Fillipi’s lovely body out of the pool

Even though the World Championships are still young, another hottie, Frederica Pelligrini set a world record in qualifying.

Frederica Pelligrini kissing things and wearing a bathing suit.

Frederica Pelligrini wearing a sports bra.

Frederica Pelligrini sitting on bamboo.

Helllllooooo swimming world championship.  We’ll continue to detail the hotness at this meet as the week goes on.

The Angry T

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Swimming is finally ready to recognize that the more than 100 world records set in 2008 may have something to do with exponential growth of swimsuit technologies in recent years. Apparently it took the powers that be this long to realize that something was amiss.  People were falling in the pool and breaking records in Athens and Beijing and it’s probably time to at least see if these swimsuit, made out of a combination of the stuff they use to make the space shuttle and seal skin (probably) had anything to do with it.

At the same time, the headline “Michael Phelps wins, breaks world record,” is much more exciting than “Michael Phelps wins, doesn’t break world record, several swimmers drown in 50m fee after swimsuit rules change.” Well, now that I think about it, I may be wrong on that one, but I think you get my point.  In general, the faster these people swim, the more fans are likely to care.  Then again, I think that suit that Phelps wore in the Olympics with the working dorsal fin, swim bladder and gills probably crossed the line.

In any event, while swimming’s governing bodies was lax in their enforcement of swimsuit technology, they weren’t the only sport to come up with some pretty ridiculous ideas for their sport.  Let’s take a look at some rule changes that were (probably, but not actually) postulated by the governing bodies of other sports:

Dana White’s shocking announcement that UFC fighters would be able to carry concealed weapons to the ring - While White’s UFC brand was certainly on top of MMA, he became increasingly concerned that copycat organization would begin to steal his market share.  This rules change would be his way to win back market share from other organizations that would be unwilling to take this step.

Surprisingly, this idea championed by some athletes that were new to the sport:

Fearing backlash from MMA purists, Dana White quickly withdrew this idea, leading to a quick retirement from William Regal.

Bud Selig instituting a metal bat only policy for Major League Baseball – Once it was clear that the public would simply not tolerate steroid use if they were sure it was happening,  (Rather than “kind of sure”  because second basemen turned into 30-home-run-hitting, Lou Ferrigno look alikes without anyone caring) Bud and his henchmen agreed they needed a way to keep the long ball in play and keep asses in seats.  The metal bat was the perfect answer. ”Look how well it worked for softball,” he told Donald Fehr.

500 foot home runs would be passe and modern ball parks would be made obsolete.  Fans would inevitably flock back to the parks.  Football would be a distant afterthought in the mind of the fan.  Not surprisingly, fans and the press lambasted Selig for this short-sightedness and the idea was shelved.  He was forced to come up with another idea and rush it to the table.  Thankfully, this one was slightly more well received.

Lance Armstrong Announces he will ride a motorcycle in the Tour De France – Tired of having doping allegations thrown in his direction, Lance decided to shift the focus away from this potential cheating by doping, to his blatant cheating by riding a motorcycle.  He also pointed to the Tour de France’s small sphere of popularity, which could be instantly enlarged by the swarms and swarms of Hell’s Angels packing the hills of France to watch him ride.

Here’s a potential fan right now:

Tour officials quickly dismissed the idea, but not because they hated it. In fact, they had nearly come to a similar conclusion years earlier when they realized so few people cared about this event, they could get away with riding motorcycles and save a lot of energy for their rides. No, Tour officials only hated the idea because it came from an American, which is the same reason they don’t eat many French fries or use toothpaste in France, despite their inherent deliciousness and tartar fight power respectively.

And finally, the most ridiculous of all potential rules changes:

The WNBA President Ms. S0 and So suggests a rule change to lower the net to 9 ft.  – Media and fans agreed from the get go that this is a terrible idea.  Let’s get real folks, why should we acknowledge that men and women are athletically different and as such a change of the games’ rules to make them more aesthetically pleasing to the fan? (See: making the ball smaller, making the three-point line shorter, lowering the net in women’s volleyball which are all terrible ideas).  I’m sure no one would be interested in seeing women’s basketball players dunk, make exciting plays around the rim, score more points and entertain fans more in general.  Thank god this rule was never instituted.

The Angry T

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Welcome back Violent J, who’s making his triumphant return to The Angry T.

TMZ, the same website that reported acquitted murderer Robert Blake was wearing a sleeveless shirt to a restaurant, also was the first to show us Xavier sophomore Jordan Crawford’s two handed facial of King James on Wednesday. You probably haven’t heard of Crawford, since he sat out last year after transferring from Indiana to Xavier, but the thought of anyone posterizing the reigning MVP was exciting news to sports fans everywhere.

As much as we idolize our top athletes and put their accomplishments on pedestals, we almost enjoy watching them get knocked down a few pegs even more. And while some of these humanizing moments happen at the end of their brilliant careers, watching hall of famers get taken down a notch is always interesting at the very least.

Here is just a brief sampling of some of the greatest athletes of all time not looking so great:

Michael Jordan getting crossed over by Iverson

I remember everyone saying how this was a changing of the guard, with Iverson just coming up in the league and Jordan at the very end of his prime. This is probably the closest thing you could compare to the Crawford / James dunk, since the other embarrassing Jordan moments were way out of his prime with the Wizards (missed dunks) and in retirement (losing to a CEO in 1 on 1).

Muhammad Ali vs Larry Holmes

Ali was not allowed out of his corner after the 10th round, and it is widely believed that it was fights like these at the end of his career that have caused the health problems he experiences now. Watching Ali get beat up by a guy he would have absolutely destroyed ten years earlier was sad to watch.

Dikembe Mutumbo wishing he had never wagged his finger

When you are a brash defender who lets people know it, you can expect it to be big news when someone goes nuts to chin on you.

Hulk Hogan loses title to Andre the Giant (RIP)

“Watcha gonna do brotha when emotional side effects of steroids runs wiiiiiiilllllllddddd on you?”

Favre’s 300th Interception

Considering this guys is considered one of the greatest QB’s of all-time, I think its odd that every NFL fan has a memory of him making a terrible throw.

Tiger Woods Failing to make the cut at this year’s British Open

Watching the greatest golfer of all-time not make a cut during a major was major news recently, however even the great ones like Nickalus ( 7 missed cuts before the age of 40) and Palmer (5 missed cuts before the age of 40) fall on their face occasionally at golf’s greatest stages.

Barbaro at the Preakness

Sing along with me:

Like A Comet
Blazing ‘Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon

Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon

Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon

Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon

Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon

Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night

Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon

Tyson knocked out by Buster Douglas

Will the Lebron James Facial be seen as more shocking then Douglas knocking Tyson out?

Violent J

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If this video wasn’t treated like the JFK assassination tape, I’m not sure this dunk would have made headlines.  LeBron James was in the area, but it no way does Jordan Crawford jump straight over LeBron to throw it down.  At long last, watch and enjoy.

Jordan Crawford, in case this does turn out to be the highlight of your life, I would milk this thing for absolutely every penny possible.  If I don’t see you on a box of Wheaties in the next few weeks, I’ll be disappointed.

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