If you’re reading this site you likely have several billion dollars laying around.  Through my own research, I’ve found out that most of the people that read this site:

A. Own their own Ponzi scheme and have bilked all of West Palm Beach out of hundreds of millions of dollars

B.  Have made their fortune running interstate Donkey Show rings, which, as you might expect, are slightly more entertaining than the concept sounds

C. Give people sleeper holds and then stick $100 bills down the mouth’s of their unlucky victims

I’m not sure exactly sure where you fall in those three categories, I just know you do.  That means you have money burning a hole in your pockets.  Well, we all know that no one can squander a fortune quite like an athlete.  The latest athlete to be bilked out of their fortune or (give it away to young ladies working their way through college and massage school) is Sergei Federov:

At least the former almost Mr. Kournikova got his money back, which is more than we can say for some of the other guys on this list

Evander Holyfield - The Real Deal managed to lose an absurd amount of money.  He also managed to buy a house in suburban Atlanta that covered 54,000 square feet.  Apparently he used to invite 4,000 kids over to his house for Fourth of July fireworks.  Nice touch, although I think he rather have the money back for all those Roman candles.

Now after reading that awful story, you would assume that Riddick Bowe came out of that rivalry with the upper hand in and out of the ring.  Of course, you’re be wrong:

Cecil Fielder - My favorite childhood baseball player is probably the reason I enjoy gambling so much. I’m still trying to fit in with my hero. I guess I’m thankful he chose gambling over of heroin.  I would have followed Cecil into the gutter with a used syringe and the stench of garbage and Cecil’s used jock strap from a mid-august homestand in LA on my person.

Scottie Pippen - This one is almost as hard to explain as Holyfield’s bankruptcy.  Pip made $120 million (in salary alone) in his 18 seasons and seems to have managed to squander all of it.  While he may not be broke, he’s refusing to may $5 million he owes US Bank and he admitted to be bilked for $27 million by his agent.

His face is fairly equine-esque, and  he’s a pretty great athlete, so if he’s looking to change careers, thoroughbred racing might be an option.  All he really has to do is snap a tibula or two and America would fall in love with him again, ala Barbaro.  Then all Pip has to do is let the donations roll in.  I think Barbaro is second only to the Sultan of Brunei in net worth after millions of idiots sent donation money to help have that beautiful beast.  In the mean time, they couldn’t wait to ignore that homeless people that they have to walk past on the way to work.  If only those bums could run faster, they might be able to eat today.

Charles Barkley - Sir Charles admitted to losing 50-60 million dollars at the tables.  At the same time, he spews these hilarious lines on TNT and Haney Project for viewers not to worry about his gambling, because “I’m still rich baby.”  I’m certain that that line isn’t foreshadowing for a future financial disaster of epic proportions for Sir Charles.

Mike Tyson - I can’t even talk about the hundreds of millions of dollars this guy lost without puking, and this company is out of warranty.  Look at this human apocalypse on your own time.

and finally…

Lenny Dykstra – Now, I can’t say that I’m happy that anyone on this list went bankrupt, but if I did crack a smile about any of these guys losing it all, it was Nails.  Ironically, while Dykstra was charging clients thousands of dollars for his services as a financial guru, he was losing money hand over fist while get sued by over 20 of the same people that relied on him for help.  According to his Chapter 11 filing, Dykstra lost $50 million dollars in 2008.

It sounds to me like the fraud pot is calling the fraud kettle black when Lenny accuses the bank of wrong-doing.  No more than 2 years ago, Lenny was hailed as a stock picking genius…

My how things can change in a year…or two or three, just ask any of the men on this list.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

We’ve been on hiatus for a couple weeks attending to some family matters, but we wanted to come back strong and there’s only one way to do that, with hot chicks.

We came across this picture of Megan Fox from her new project Jennifer’s Body. I’m less concerned about Jennifer’s body than I am about Megan’s body, which as you can see below, looks pretty great in this outfit.

In honor of Megan, let’s take a look at the 10 best, besides Megan of course, movie and TV cheerleaders.

10. Kelly Kapowski and Co. – Saved by the Bell

9. Jamie Pressley – Not Another Teen Movie

8. Christina Milian - Love Don’t Cost a Thing

7. Ali Larter – Varsity Blues

A little bikini action as well

6. Brooke Langton – The Replacements

5. Kate Mara – We Are Marshall

I like this one more:

4. Hayden Penitierre – Heroes and Bring it On

3. Gabrielle Union – Bring it On

2. Eliza Dushku – Bring it On  (Sorry Kirsten Dunst, you are the #3 hottest chick in this movie)

Was there ever any doubt who #1 would be? Nice work Derek…

1. Minka Kelly – Friday Night Lights

We’re coming back with a vengence.  We look forward to showing you more hot chicks in the future.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

There’s a new craze among college and professional athletes and I’m happy to say it’s not talking in the third person or getting into fights outside of clubs or lighting a teammate’s foot on fire in the dugout or dunking on Shawn Bradley.   Oh no, it’s much more exciting than any of the things listed above.  Freakish pro athletes are no spending their time jumping out of pools.  Hopefully you’ve seen it by now, but if not, make sure you re-read that last sentence for your own clarity.  This guys are jumping out of pools filled with waist-level water.  Just imagine how difficult how unbelievably difficult that must be.  Since we’re in awe of these guys, we’ve compiled all the videos we could find of this unbelievable act:

6′5″ 288 pound former San Jose State DE Jarron Gilbert

This dude

An Ohio State Wrestler – Watch the last 15 seconds for the jump and the surprisingly feminine high fives.

UFC Star BJ Penn

Some hot chick attempting to jump out of a pool

Keith Eloi – Redskins WR

This one is pretty cool too:

But it can’t be that hard, this kid does it pretty easily:

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Sure, they don’t have as much impact as Kevin Durant, Greg Oden, and Michael Beasley. But still, college football freshmen have become more and more important to the success of their teams in recent years. 2008 saw major impacts from true freshmen like AJ Green (Georgia), Julio Jones (Alabama), Michael Floyd (Notre Dame), and the Florida defensive back combination of Will Hill and Janoris Jenkins. Typically, impact freshmen come in the form of running backs and wide receivers. 2009 could be different, however.

Matt Barkley (Southern Cal)

With Mark Sanchez gone, USC looked to their other ten 5 star QB recruits to replace him. Aaron Corp looked to be the heir apparent, but Barkley has impressed people to the point where those within the USC program believe he could start from Day One in Los Angeles. I have a feeling that Corp will get the starting job at least until after the Ohio State game. But, look for Barkley to play significant minutes in 2009 for the Trojans.

Tate Forcier (Michigan)

Tate may not be the second or even fifth ranked quarterback coming out of high school, but he’s certainly one of the most polished. And, considering the turmoil surrounding the Michigan football program and, in particular, the QB position, Forcier will be expected to come in and start right away. Luckily for Forcier, he does not have very large shoes to fill, as Steven Threet and Nick Sheridan did nothing but suck last year. Still, Forcier may be the most scrutinized true freshman in college football next year. With his accuracy and football IQ, I expect Tate to exceed expectations.

Bryce Brown (Tennessee)

With Arian Foster leaving, Tennessee is razor thin at the running back position. Luckily, they landed what some recruiting sites (including Rivals.com) believe is the best incoming freshman in the country. At 6 foot 215, Brown has plenty of size to go with his blazing speed. When you find a running back with Brown’s size/power and speed combination, you hold onto him. Brown should see the majority of carries for Lane Kiffin this year. I would expect some productive numbers along with a few runs that make their way onto ESPN’s Top 10 plays. Fellow true freshman David Oku should also give Tennessee a decent back-up option to Brown.

Rueben Randle (LSU)

With speedsters Trindon Holliday and Chris Mitchell and a maturing quarterback in Jordan Jefferson, LSU needs that impact, outside wide receiver that can take over games. At 6′3 Rueben Randle can be that guy. While his size is excellent, Randle is also pretty fast and has the ability to make defenders miss in the open field. Randle was made in the same mold as the aforementioned Green, Floyd, and Jones. There is nothing to suggest that Randle’s impact won’t be similar to these guys. LSU was looking for an outside WR… and they found one.

D.J. Fluker (Alabama)

Generally, offensive linemen are not found among the impact freshmen in college football. Well, D.J. Fluker is not your typical true freshman offensive lineman. Most offensive linemen don’t end their high school careers at 6′7, 350. Combine Fluker’s amazing size with the departure of offensive tackle and anchor Andre Smith, Fluker has the chance to be an impact player right away. Look for a lot of pancake blocks on the left end of the Alabama offensive linemen from Fluker.

Manti Te’o (Notre Dame)

When Te’o committed to Notre Dame, relief came to South Bend like a truck load of Rolaids. For the first time in Charlie Weis’s tenure at Notre Dame, he landed a big-time, impact defensive recruit. Offensive talent has been plentiful. The defense has been putrid. Te’o gives defensive coordinator Corwin Brown and defensive genius Jon Tenuta a linebacker who has the ability to both rush the passer and drop back in coverage at an elite level. The commitment of Te’o to Notre Dame surprised everyone. So will the sight of a talented defensive player on the football field in South Bend in the fall.

Jacobbi McDaniel (Florida State)

Jacobbi McDaniel looks to join a long list of talented Florida State defensive linemen that includes names such as Warren Sapp, Corey Simon, Darnell Dockett, and recently drafted Everette Brown. McDaniel isn’t huge and only stands six foot tall. So, while he may not be ready to be an every-down defensive tackle, expect McDaniel to see the field a lot. McDaniel plays extremely fast from the DT position, an asset that could prove very valuable. Opposing ACC quarterbacks will see a lot of Jacobbi McDaniel this year… while on their backs.

Dre Kirkpatrick (Alabama)

If you follow football closely enough, you will notice that there is a sort of height threshold when it comes to cornerbacks. Rarely do you see cornerbacks much taller than 6 foot. At 6′2 with extreme quickness, Kirkpatrick has many believing that he can be one of those rare tall cornerbacks. If so, his height can provide a huge benefit when it comes to defending jump balls. And, if the cornerback thing doesn’t work out, Kirkpatrick could prove to be a stud safety. With his athleticism and versatility, Alabama will find a spot somewhere for him in the defensive backfield.

Others to Watch:

Will Campbell, DT, Michigan
Ray Ray Armstrong, S, Miami (FL)
Craig Loston, S, LSU
Greg Reid, DB, Florida State

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Wonder no longer about whether your favorite slugger was on steroids, because we have the list of players who tested positive for steroids in 2003 along with David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez.  Thanks to an MLB source of ours who got to sneak a peek at the list, you no longer need to play the guessing game of whether your favorite star wasn’t playing fair. Take a look:

1.Nomar Garciaparra
2. Manny Ramirez
3. Johnny Damon
4. Trot Nixon
5. David Ortiz
6. Shea Hillenbrand
7. Derek Lowe
8. Pedro Martinez
9. Brian Roberts
10. Jay Gibbons
11. Melvin Mora
12. Jerry Hairston
13. Jason Giambi
14. Alfonso Soriano
15. Raul Mondesi
16. Aaron Boone
17. Andy Pettite
18. Jose Contreras
19. Roger Clemens
20. Carlos Delgado
21. Vernon Wells
22. Frank Catalanotto
23. Kenny Rogers
24. Magglio Ordonez
25. Sandy Alomar
26. Bartolo Colon
27. Brent Abernathy
28. Jose Lima
29. Milton Bradley
30. Casey Blake
31. Danys Baez
32. Craig Monroe
33. Dmitri Young
34. Alex Sanchez
35. Eric Chavez
36. Miquel Tejada
37. Eric Byrnes
38. Jose Guillen
39. Keith Foulke
40. Ricardo Rincon
41. Bret Boone
42. Mike Cameron
43. Randy Winn
44. Ryan Franklin
45. Freddy Garcia
46. Rafael Soriano
47. Scott Spiezio
48. Troy Glaus
49. Francisco Rodriquez
50. Sean Weber
51. Alex Rodriquez
52. Juan Gonzalez
53. Rafael Palmeiro
54. Carl Everett
55. Javy Lopez
56. Gary Sheffield
57. Mike Hampton
58. Ivan Rodriquez
50. Derrek Lee
60. Bobby Abreu
61. Terry Adams
62. Fernando Tatis
63. Livan Hernandez
64. Hector Almonte
65. Tony Adams
66. Dan Smith
67. Roberto Alomar
68. Cliff Floyd
69. Roger Cedeno
70. Jeromy Burnitz
71. Moises Alou
72. Sammy Sosa
73. Corey Patterson
74. Carlos Zambrano
75. Mark Prior
76. Kerry Wood
77. Matt Clement
78. Antonio Alfonsaca
79. Juan Cruz
80. Aramis Ramirez
81. Craig Wilson
82. Kris Benson
83. Richie Sexson
84. Geoff Jenkins
85. Valerio de los Sanlos
86. Benito Santiago
87. Rich Aurilia
88. Barry Bonds
89. Andres Galarraga
90. Jason Schmidt
91. Felix Rodriquez
92. Jason Christiansen
93. Matt Herges
94. Paul LoDuca
95. Shawn Green
96. Oliver Rerez
97. Adrian Beltre
98. Eric Gagne
99. Guillermo Mota
100. Luis Gonzalez
101. Todd Helton
102. Ryan Klesko
103. Gary Matthews

Take a look a the top of that list, do those players have anything in common? Oh that’s right, they were all members of the World Champion Red Sox. Most major leaguers of consequence made the list and it’s actually interesting to see who has fallen off in the last few years, potentially due to stricter testing policies.   

Now I’d imagine that this isn’t the entire list because I recognize all the names on this list and I find it hard to believe that only the good players were on roids.  Instead, this list is probably more a who’s who of who actually tested positive.  Either way, it’s unbelievable how prevalent this stuff became.  At the same time, should we be so surprised about anyone’s name coming out at this point.  Many of the games greats have admitted to steroid use and if the players with the most talent were using, it stands to reason that players with less talent were using as well.

It was good to not see Ken Griffey Jr.’s name on this list.  The Kid is still clean…for now.

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When Norman Laker left South Africa to take the head coaching job for the 83^rd ranked Indian Rugby National Team his job was to quickly whip the team into shape for the Commonwealth Games which India is hosting in October 2010.

But when Laker saw his scrawny team he knew a drastic change was needed. The Indian Rugby team averaged about 170 lbs …..a far cry from the 195-220 lb men they’ll be seeing in October. So Coach Laker has ordered his team to eat fifteen eggs everyday in order to put on the weight. While this is a decent way to put on weight, the Stallone diet isn’t the only way to pack on the pounds. Here are few more diets out there if India wants to compete with the All-Blacks and Wallabies.

The Bill Romanowski Diet:

1.Take glass of water and put 20 scoops of Romo’s Nutrition 53 products (Lean1, Neuro1, Multi1) until the bubbles resemble the poison sign….quickly drink entire glass.

2. Repeat step 1 untill you begin to feel internal bleeding.

3. Take glass of water and put 20 scoops of Romo’s Sleep1 mix…quickly drink entire glass.

4. Pray to God you wake up tomorrow.

The Andre the Giant Diet

1. Go to restaurant, order every item on the menu

2.Order 117 Beers or 3 fifths of vodka (your choice)

3.Wrestle Big John Studd

The Oliver Miller Diet

1.Golden Corral Breakfast Buffet

2.Repeat for Lunch and Dinner

3.Weep for your young children who will grow up without a father

The Tank Johnson Diet

1. Get arrested for possession of a gattlin gun and the assault chopper from Predator

2. Swallow sadness in prison by eating all this shit:

• Beef Sticks-162
• Honey Buns-40
• Summer Sausage-35
• Potato Chips-35
• Cups of coffee-22
• Fruit Punch-10
• Tuna fish sandwiches-10
• Jalapeno Cheese spread-9
• Tortillas-9
• Refried Beans-6
• Cookies-6

(Hey, that cookie total isn’t terrible, I have to imagine depression about being in prison would have led me to eat hundreds of cookies in 120 days)

3. Become an over performer in an HBO series and an under performer on the field the next season.

4. Get cut from your professional football team

The Sonya Thomas Diet

1. Become a competitive eater as 120 pound Asain woman

2. Consumer this amount of food:

• Asparagus
  • 5.75 pounds of tempura deep fried asparagus spears in 10 minutes
• Cheesecakes
  • 11 pounds of downtown Atlantic cheesecake in 9 minutes
• Chicken nuggets
  • 80 chicken nuggets in 5 minutes
• Chicken wings
  • 173 chicken wings in 12 minutes
• Crabcakes
  • 46 three ounce crabcakes in 10 minutes
• Eggs
  • 65 hard boiled eggs in 6 minutes and 40 seconds
• Fruitcakes
  • 4 pounds, 14 1/4 ounces of Wegman’s Fruitcake in 10 minutes
• Hamburgers
  • 7 burgers (3/4 pound) “Thickburgers” in 10 minutes
• Jambalaya
  • 9 pounds of crawfish jambalaya in 10 minutes
• Lobster
  • 44 lobsters totaling 11.3 pounds of lobster meat in 12 minutes
• Oysters
  • 46 dozen Acme Oysters in 10 minutes(2005)
  • 29 dozen ACME Oysters in 8 minutes (2009)-Louisiana oyster season produced much larger oysters in 2009 explaining the slower pace -reclaimed the Wolrd Oyster Eating title
• Pizza
  • 6 extra large Bacci pizza slices in 15 minutes
• Pulled pork
  • 23 pulled pork sandwiches in 10 minutes
• Tacos
  • 43 soft tacos in 11 minutes
• Tater tots
  • 250 tater tots in 5 minutes
• Turducken
  • 7 3/4 pounds Turducken.com Thanksgiving Dinner in 12 minutes

3. Never gain any weight

If those diets don’t help you Indian Rugby player, you might just be screwed.

Violent J

Popularity: 1% [?]

I was reading last weeks Sports Illustrated article on Carl Crawford and other prominent bag swipers and something caught my eye regarding Crawford:

“ Dude can also hit; according to Baseball-Reference.com, the 27-year-old Crawford is most statistically similar to Roberto Clemente at the same age.”

If you asked 100 people today if they would compare Carl Crawford to Roberto Clemente at any point of his career how many do you think would? I wondered how baseball-reference came up with this comparison and they have a nice little explanation.

Obviously comparing Clemente, who had 32 career stolen bases by age 27 to Crawford who has already stolen more then 32 bases in a season 6 times may seem a bit flawed. However comparisons to speedsters like Vince Coleman (didn’t put up the HR, RBI, or AVG. like Crawford) or Ricky Henderson (Had already stolen over 100 bases 3 times by 27, Crawford never more then 59) is flawed as well because it simply tries to compare today’s players to the “type” of player they are and not simply look at the stats.

I took some time to see who some of the top 30-under players of today compare to at that same age according to Baseball-Reference. Keep in mind that this deals with offensive statistics and makes almost no adjustment for defensive ability.

Joe Mauer (26) —————Shanty Hogan

Hogan was a catcher for the Boston Braves, New York Giants and Washington Senators between 1925-1937. By 26 he had hit over .300 four times. A career .295 hitter, his best season earned him a 10th place in balloting for the NL MVP in 1928. Apparently Hogan also had a vaudeville act with New York Giants 2B Andy Cohen who said that Hogan “could have been one of the best catchers ever…but he ate himself out of the big leagues.” Stay away from the oatmeal cream pies Joe, and we’ll be comparing you to someone better when your 30.

Albert Pujols (29) —————– Jimmie Foxx

Career .325 hitter, 534 Home Runs, 1922 RBI, 2 Championships, 9 time all-star, 3 MVP’s, won the triple crown in 1933, Hall of Famer….Jimmie Foxx was pretty good. The scary part is that Pujols will more then likely shatter all of Foxx’s numbers by the time he’s done.

Chase Utley (29) ————– Gabby Harnett

He played a different position then Utley (catcher) but baseball-reference think he was the type of hitter we see play 2B for the Phillies. The six time all-star and 1935 NL MVP; Hartnett was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1955. Hartnett’s career really took off in his 30’s, and for Utley to be Hall of Fame material; he’ll need a solid next 10 years as well.

3B David Wright —————— Eric Chavez

6 time Gold Glove winner, Chavez had 3 100-RBI seasons and hit over 25 HR’s 5 times before he turned 27. He has played in 121 games total in the last 3 seasons due to injuries. If the New York version of Chavez stays healthy, his power numbers and gold gloves should keep him on the road to being a great third basemen.

SS Hanley Ramirez ——————————- Nomar Garciaparra

Please don’t forget how good Garciaparra was. I realize that Hanley Ramirez is a special talent that has the potential to be one of those unique 30/30 guys, but what Garciaparra did up until 30 is hard to duplicate at the Shortstop position. 164 Homeruns in 6 full seasons, two batting crowns (including one at .372), top-5 in doubles 5 times, and top-5 in triples 3 times. He was a consistent All-Star with a couple trips to the playoffs. Of course we all know what happens next to Nomar: the “bulking up”, the injuries, not playing in over 122 games since turning 30. So if I told Marlin fans that Hanley would be the next Nomar would they be happy?

OF Josh Hamilton ——————————–Bing Miller

Edmund “Bing “ Miller didn’t play in the majors until he turned 26, just like Josh Hamilton. Although he only hit over 20 HR’s once, Miller had a .311 career average and compiled 992 RBI’s in 16 seasons (1921-1936) primarily with the Philadelphia Athletics. Obviously Hamilton started his MLB career at 26 for different reasons (Miller was a converted pitcher), and he clearly has more potential for power numbers, yet I would be surprised if he could come close to putting up the type on longevity that Miller was able to.

OF Ryan Braun —————————— Ralph Kiner / Danny Tartabull

Braun is the only player to have two players come up as most like him at this age. One is a 1-time All-Star who put up good not great power numbers over 14 MLB seasons. The other is a Hall of Famer, 6-time All-Star who hit over 107 more HR’s then the previous player and did it in 4 fewer seasons. Hall of Famer or run of the mill power hitter, no pressure Ryan.

OF Curtis Granderson—————————–Reggie Sanders

When I saw Reggie Sanders name come up for Granderson I was a little surprised. As a Tigers fan I see Granderson as a potential star, and I see Reggie Sanders as…. an average MLB corner outfielder. But if you compare their stats, Sanders hits for a better average, has better power, and steals more bases. Granderson…hits a lot of triples. Obviously you get a much better fielder with Curtis, but with the Tigers struggling to score runs and protect their AL Central lead, this makes me sad.

DH/1B Miguel Cabrerea ———————– Ken Griffey Jr.

I knew there was a reason I was in love with Miggy. Of the top-10 players compared to Miguel at this age, 5 are HOF’s, and 2 will be (Griffey and Pujols). Playing in Miami and Detroit is usually not the recipe to gaining national popularity and I think the average fan doesn’t know how unbelievable Miggy is until you compare his numbers to someone like young Griffey. Junior didn’t start having his 50+ HR, 140+ RBI seasons until his late 20’s so if Cabrera wants to continue this comparison he needs to reach an even higher level in the next couple of years. But from 20-25 years old, the two are extremely comparable.

Violent J

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