9 Fantastic Names for TO’s New Show on VH1

Because there isn’t enough garbage on television, VH1 has decided to give Terrell Owens a reality show. Since the show’s name has not yet been divulged, the innovators in TheAngryT offices have decided to send our ideas over to VH1.  The above article is also fairly ambiguous as to what the show will actually be about outside of saying that his managers will try to help him re-examine his personal life, so we’ll also try to give some direction to the show.

9. Pimp My Wide Receiver - This show would take the literal definition of “pimp” and would force contestants to prostitute Terrell Owens for their own betterment.  There would be no real winner or loser in this show, but the contestants would get to get any money they make and Owens would get to keep each and every STDs he collects up to and including syphilis.  This might also force him to re-examine his personal life, but most likely he would examine and re-examine his genitals.

8. The Pills - TO, while re-examining his personal life, would re-examine his medicine cabinet to help viewers recognize that you can have very serious allergic reactions to ingesting copious amounts of painkillers.

7.  The Biggest Loser – TO will compete against other douches like Sean Avery, anyone on The Real World,  and Mystery, from The Pick-Up Artist.  Hanging around with these clowns will force him to re-examine his personal life, which will force him to be the show’s overall biggest loser.

6. Terry and the Hendersons – TO replaces BigFoot on this classic show and undoubtedly, hilarity ensues.  Just like Harry, TO’s curious nature leaves the home in a constant state of disrepair as the family struggles to keep TO’s existence a secret.  Both of these activities give all parties involved ample opportunity to re-examine their personal lives.  The Henderson’s eventually go Old Yeller on TO when he refuses to stop showing his abs to everyone, at every possible oppurtunity, all the time.

5. 81 – Piggybacking off the success of 24, TO attempts to make it through an entire 16 game season without throwing any of his teammates under the bus.  A vicious Arab terrorist and Dallas Cowboys fan who has threatened to release a  deadly pathogen that would kill millions of Americans if he senses even a little insubordination from Owens.  Every bad throw and poor offensive performances brings the American populace that much closer to impending doom, while at the same time helping TO reexamine his personal life.

4. Law & Order: Special Dickhead Unit - Like only he can, TO alienates the rest of his detective squad while at the same time failing to solve the crime for the first time in the history of the show.

3. TO Dancing: No Stars Involved: This would probably be the most entertaining show on the list.  This would also be the only show on the list that wouldn’t involve any self-examination on TO’s part:

2. T’s Company – When Tony Romo’s house is burned down by a unattended Jessica Simpson fondue pot, Terrell finds himself with two new house guests.  As you might imagine, Jessica, Tony and TO regularly find themselves in precarious situations, most of which Jessica’s continued use to TO’s waxing kit without asking.  The corpse of Don Knotts, assuming he is dead, is resurrected to play the role of the nosy neighbor/landlord. In a not so veiled reference to Three’s Company, TO is forced to “pretend” he is gay to satisfy the conditions of his lease, which stipulate that for every three people that live in an apartment, one must be a homosexual.   (I still have no clue why John Ritter couldn’t just live with those two chicks on that show)

1.  When Animals Attack…Terrell Owens – This show would be similar to Fox’s When Animals Attack, except that the animals would always be attacking Terrell Owens.  He could re-examine his personal life while becoming lunch for a Black Rhino.

The Angry T

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