While I was watching that fantastic looking G.I. Joe movie trailer yesterday, I noticed that the some kind soul had posted the original G.I. Joe public service announcements that came on at the end of every show. I forgot how wonderful these were:
#1: What to do if you Get Lost:
#2: What to do if your house is on fire:
#3: Don’t swim when it’s storming – I learned this one the hard way
#4: Don’t pet strange dogs:
#5: Don’t be in a hurry to build a tree house – Measure twice, cut once, haste makes waste and a stitch in time saves nine.
#6: What to do if you catch on fire – Wrong answer include: Light a cigarette off your arm, throw your burning clothes at a vagrant or use the power of positive thought ala “The Secret,” to stop the fire from burning you alive.
#7: How to tread water – If you can’t instinctively tread water and happen to fall into a lake, nature has chosen you to die.
#8: Have an ump to officiate your baseball games -
#9: Don’t get mad at other players – I’m not sure I agree with this one, if one of your fellow seven year olds screws up, you to get in his face and let him know. It worked in Lady Bugs, it works in real life.
#10: Put reflectors on your bike
#11: You’ll never win if you give in – Unless you give in to the pressures of a college party and smoke some weed, then you win 14 gold medals.
#12:Don’t make false alarms
#13: How to stop a nose bleed – Additional answers include: STOP SNORTING COKE YOU LITTLE 7 YEAR OLD BASTARD
#14: Don’t skate on thin ice
#15: Don’t take drugs without parents
#16: It’s okay to be chicken if you’re smart -
#17: Get your eyes checked – Unless you have to wear glasses that look anything like the ones in this video. It’s important to note that being healthy and enjoying life as a result of good vision isn’t nearly as important as looking good. Looking good will always be more important than eye site.
#18 – Don’t run away from home – What was left out of this scene was a heartbreaking exchange between Ship Wreck and the child seeking to run away. He tells the audience that his dad gets drunk and beat the hell out him daily. Ship Wreck, un-moved by the tears, and a stickler for the rules. drives the child home and drops him off with his abusive father.
#19. Don’t hide in a fridge – I can’t tell you how many of my childhood hide and go seek games ended tragically as a result of this tragic reality.
#20. What to do if someone passes out – No wonder that chick at the mall was so pissed when I started feeling her up after she passed out. I was sure that was the protocol.
#21: Don’t play around electrical wires
#22: Call the fire department from outside:
#23: Don’t judge people – I assume this only applies to women and not dangerous minorities (Italians) and homosexuals
#24: Don’t Steal – Unless you really want or need the item in question or the person from who you’re stealing has more money than you.
#25: Don’t go with strangers – Any child that would get in a car with a moustached man in matching hat and green trench coat obviously has some sort of learning disability. This trench-coated man might be providing some sort of service for the local school district. I wouldn’t paint him with the “pedophile brush” just yet.
#26: Wear a life jacket – Also, don’t wear one of the hats that the two other dudes have on in this video
#27: Don’t misjudge the handicapped – I believe they prefer to be called ‘disabled,’ but I guess I’ll defer to the Native American on this one. You could also call this kid “pimp,” because he walks with a cane and consistently finds pussy
Hopefully you enjoyed this walk down memory lane.
The Angry T
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Reparate me for GI Joe not telling me that I should tell someone about my uncle touching me.
Wow dude, that is like WAY cool. Well done man!
RT
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Actually, the Fensler Film versions were way better and a million times funnier.
Thanks for posting these. I had only seen the Fensler spoofs before; nice to know the originals were just as ridiculous.
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Awesome! I actually got a little nostalgic watching these. My brother and I were 12 and 10, going through our parents nasty divorce and collecting gi joes gave us something positive. I remember these spots well. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for this service you have provided myself, as well as my friends. Nearly half of the issues discussed here in are regular events of our weekly, prescription drug taking, fire starting, bike stealing, minority judging, innner refridgerator, storm swimming, electric power line parties. There will be a change as of next week’s agenda, because; “NOW I KNOW”. BTW does anyone else think that strange non-uniformed soldiers, having excessive physical contact with strange under-aged boys is creepy?
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i have been watching GI Joe cartoons since childhood. a year ago, i was thinking why Hollywood has not yet created a movie version of GI JOE. I am very happy now that i can watch a movie version of my favorite cartoon show.
Where I can find original GI Joe PSAs video in quality???
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GI Joe the movie is awesome. it focuses mainly on nanotechnology. this movie should have been made a couple of years ago.
I used to watch GI Joe animated series wayback in my childhood days. the movie version of GI Joe is definitely the best.
i like GI Joe and my favorite character is Scarlett. i used to watch the cartoon version when i was a teenager.
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