Wally Szczerbiak’s Hockey Visor Highlights Our All-Mask Team

If you watched the Cavs/Lakers game on Sunday you were no doubt treated to the Wally’s hockey visor with eyes holes that was supposedly protecting his nose.  I’ve seen these types of nose protective masks before, but never have I seen a mask this ridiculous looking.  I think he may have fashioned it himself out of an old Gatorade bottle he had laying around the house.

The strap on that monstrosity was about three inches thick and instead of fitting tight to his nose, the face guard looked similar to a hockey visor with large eyes holes sawed out.  This basketball fashion faux pas was especially surprising coming from a guy who manages to expertly gel his hair before, during and probably after each and every NBA game.

In honor of Wally, lets take a look at the basketball’s best masked men:

Richard Hamilton - This guy refuses to take off the mask, even though his nose has been healed for the last three years.  At this point it’s a fashion statement on par with Adam Morrison’s mustache:

Lebron James – Even the King donned a ridiculous looking mask.  I would never like to meet this guy in a dark alley, but this picture will undoubtedly haunt my dreams for the foreseeable future.

Tyler Hansbrough – Anthony Hopkins character in Silence of the Lambs must have been based off this photo, even though the pic was taken 15 years after the movie was made.  He continues to eat the lunches of ACC big men with some farva beans and a nice Chianti:

Bill Laimbeer – I am fairly sure that Laimbeer would have eaten Larry Bird’s heart given the opportunity.

Antonio Mcdyess

Early basketball players wearing masks – I’m going to do a bit of research to confirm, but I have to believe that the player in the second picture is Chuck Manson.  His lack of basketball ability forced him to go on a killing spree.

Andrew Bogut

Zydrunas Ilgauskas – If he didn’t look ridiculous enough

Brian Cardinal – For this guy to remain in the NBA, he is required to break his nose at least three times a game.  His pure comedic value allows the team to pay him the ungodly sum of $6.3 mil a year to score 1.5 points a game.

Alonzo Mourning – Zo was flexing his nose muscles in the mirror when a blood vessel burst.  He was required to wear this mask until he realized that people don’t flex constantly in real life, regardless of kidney function.

Sue Bird – Sue was deemed too attractive to play in the WNBA.  The only way she could remain in the league is to ugly herself up a bit.  The mask was the obvious answer to the problem:

And finally. the most ridiculous mask of all:

Brandon Williams – Channeling his inner Zoro, Brandon Williams scored 30 points, stole the wallets of all the rich people in the courtside seats and consummated his love with a beautiful Latin woman at center court on one very special Wednesday in December 1998.

The Angry T

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