Mar
09
2009

In Honor of Chuck Norris’ 69th Birthday, We Run Down the Top 10 Things Chuck has Ever Done

Written by aeneas07 | Visited 2364 times, 2 so far today

Happy Birthday to Chuck Norris who turns 69 years old on March 10. Can you believe that Chuck Norris is 69 years old? Look at this strapping gentlemen:

http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0cZi74R8ZH1bt/340x.jpg

He ain’t bad to look at is he?

In honor of Chuck, I would like to run down the Top 10 things that this man has ever done (in my opinion) with videos.  It was difficult to choose just 10, because this guy’s catalog is epic. The Chuck Norris quotes get old after a while, but his ass kicking on the big and silver screen and his tireless work as a pitch man continue to amuse me:

10. The Total Gym - Have you ever actually used the total gym? This thing is a miracle of modern science.  It actually does give you a really good work out.  Then again, what else would you expect from the man? I don’t want to live in a world where Chuck would lie to us about effectiveness of a product that he endorses.

Look at how shocked he is that the people behind the Total Gym would give you 60 days (up to 62 actually) to sample this work out system.

9. Lone Wolf McQuade – Just watch the trailer. Hopefully the Walker Texas Ranger people paid royalties based on their outright theft of this movie’s plot to come up with a TV show

8. Chuck Norris Karate Commandos - Hopefully, you’ve seen this before. If not, I would advise sitting tight for the next 3 minutes.

7. Super Chuck Norris Brothers – Okay, he didn’t actually do this, but it’s pretty sweet

6. Chuck Norris reading Chuck Norris facts – You can’t say this guy isn’t a good sport.  I tire of the jokes, but I don’t tire of Chuck reading them.

5. Wore Awesome Glasses (22 second mark) and Killed a Mass Murderer in The Hero and the Terror. I don’t think I would ever take those glasses off if I found them in real life. If I had cataract surgery later in life, these would also be the perfect glasses for the recovery. I would be buried in these glasses.

4. The Missing in Action Series – Stephen Segal wakes up in cold sweats of fear when he dreams of doing anything near this cool on the big screen.

Just look at this movie poster:

http://www.impawards.com/1984/posters/missing_in_action.jpg

3. Single-handedly stop a Russian invasion in Invasion U.S.A -

2. Starting the MMA craze in this episode of Walker Texas Ranger

Dana White should pay this guy royalties

1. The first two Delta Force Movies – I’m a fan of Steven Segal and Jean-Claude Van Damme, but pound for pound, there has not been an ass-kicker like Norris in these movies.  I think real life Columbian drug lords probably went into hiding for a few years after seeing these movies.

I encourage you to berate me in the comments, because I know there are a bunch of Norris’ related accomplishments that should have made this list.

The Angry T

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