The 11 Worst Sports Related Video Games

I was perusing youtube today and I came across this absolute gem of a video game.  I can’t believe I don’t remember this one, but I felt better when I showed the video to a bunch of my friends, and none of them had heard of it either.  After watching this video, and make sure you watch the entire thing because Michael Jordan throws exploding basketballs at bum at the 2 minute mark, I convinced this may be one of the worst games ever:

11. Michael Jordan: Chaos in the Windy City

The entire concept of a crime fighting Michael Jordan seems a bit odd, as does the gameplay. Here’s how wikipedia describes said gameplay:

The game played much like other 2D platformers of its time, collecting keys and defeating enemies with a variety of different techniques. The player controls Michael Jordan on a quest to save the rest of the players for an All-Star charity game, who have all been kidnapped. The player attacks enemies using different basketballs, each with its own ability; for example, the freeze ball can freeze the ground and create a slippery surface, the bomb ball makes a large explosion, and so on. The player must find keys throughout the game to unlock different doors and rescue teammates. Michael can also slam dunk for a secondary attack. This is also used to activate powerup baskets and various checkpoints along the way.

Nothing gets me more excited as a gamer than the thought of rescuing Horace Grant. Nothing except playing with a crime fighting Shaquille O’Neal, which brings me to the point of this article, taking a look at the worst sports related video games:

(By the way, if you want to buy some great gear based on one of your favorite childhood video game “NBA Jam,” check out this store)

10. Shaq Fu

9. Kurt Warner’s Arena Football Unleashed – Doug Flutie was unavailable to “unleash” the Canadian Football League. Kurt was the obvious second choice.

8. Bill Laimbeer Contact Basketball - This shitiness of this game can only partially be described by the game description on wikipedia:

The game predicts a science-fiction version of the year 2030 in which there are only robot basketball players (excluding Bill Laimbeer). Basketball teams play in gruelling league matches where new players are bought and sold (like in the Premier League of English soccer). Within this future, basketball uses a dedicated robot to perform the toss up at the start of each match as referees had been fired by Bill Laimbeer sometime prior to the year 2030. As a result, players now wear armor to their games and weapons are thrown from the audience.

The video does the rest:

7. Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden: I’m not sure what the hell is going on in this game, but to get high enough to enjoy this game I’d have to smoke myself to death:

6. Barry McGuigan World Championship Boxing – Ths game was made for the Commodore, so the fact that it looks so shitty can probably be excused.

5.Emmitt Smith Football – Like his commentary, Emmitt’s football game blows:

4. Sterling Sharpe: End 2 End - I only wish that I could constantly have Sterling Sharpe pointing at me and encouraging me in real life like he does in this game.

3. Scottie Pippen Slam City – Probably the worst game on one of the worst game systems ever:

2. Tony LaRussa Baseball – DUI mode wasn’t available until the playstation version of the game was released. (rimshot)

1. Roger Clemens MVP Baseball – There is actually a team in this game named the San Fransisco Quakes, as in Earthquakes. They chose to go with the quakes nickname even after the 1989 Loma Prieta earthquake that killed 63 people, injured 3,600 and delayed the 1989 World Series. I’m almost angrier about this indiscretion than the whole steroid thing.

Let me know what I missed in the comments.

The Angry T

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