Apr
03
2009

Jessica Biel Practicing Stripping for Her Role in Powder Blue, We Look at the Jessica Biels of Sports

Written by aeneas07 | Visited 484 times, 7 so far today

First and foremost, take a look at this video from access Hollywood.  They interviewed Jessica about her upcoming straight to DVD stripper movie, Powder Blue, and she decided to give the cameras a little demonstration:

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What is it about Jessica Biel that doesn’t allow her to be in any movies that anyone would ever see in theaters?  (Yes, I know she was in I Know Pronounce You Chuck and Larry)

Since this is a sports website, I figure we may as well tie in some fantastic stripping with sports.  Let’s take a look at the Jessica Biels of the sporting world. More specifically, let’s check out the guys that look great on paper, but can never seem to transfer their talent across the white lines.

Gabe Kapler - Gabe Kapler had barely put on his Detroit Tigers as a rookie before he took it off to do a swimsuit calendar. He certainly looked like a five-tool prospect, but looks can be pretty, pretty deceiving.

While he projected as a 40/40 guy without his shirt on, when he was forced to put a jersey on, he was more like 10/10.

Kwame Brown - He’s 7 feet tall, jumpa and runs very well for a man his size, yet he has no ability to play the game of basketball.  Someone, namely the greatest player that ever lived, saw something in him.  Unfortunately, Jordan saw something that no NBA player has seen from Kwame thus far.

So much promise: (25 second mark)

Vernon Davis – Two words: Workout Warrior.  He blew up the combine and has proceeded to blow up the NFL to the tune 103 career catches and 9 TDs in three seasons. Very impressive for a huge man with unbelievably athletic ability.

Here are his combine numbers:

40-yard dash – 4.38, 225 bench press – 33 reps, vertical jump – 42″at 6″4 250 pounds

Tony Mandarich – I don’t think I can say it any better than Sports Illustrated did in 1989:

http://bolstablog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/tony-mandarich-sports-illustrated-cover-1989.jpg

He probably was the best line prospect ever, and while he had a decent NFL career, he never really lived up to the hype. Winstrol cocktail anyone.

Brandon HancockAny avid sports illustrated reader should remember Brandon Hancock.  He was one of the first big recruits to enter college early and play in spring practice.   Hancock was a physically gifted freshman who dominated spring practice on the football field as well as in the weight room.  Shockingly, Hancock never really amounted to much of a football player, despite his size and athletic ability.  However, he could definitely find his way onto Gabe Kapler’s, “I look good without a shirt on, but I can’t play any sport very well,” calendar.

Let me know who I missed in the comments.

The Angry T

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