With the NBA’s 2nd Round Heating Up, We Tell Who’s Gonna Win…Using The Dance Teams

There is no shortage of pundits out there to tell you who exactly will win the NBA playoff’s second round match-ups.   Obviously, the bastion of sporting knowledge known as TheAngryT already knows exactly who will come out victorious in this year’s playoffs as well as the next 5 years of NBA playoffs.  However, simply explaining, series by series why one team has an advantage over another is not only tedious, but it’s also boring.

I happen to know for a fact that pictures of hot cheerleaders don’t bore you.  I know the pictures of the Nuggets cheerleaders in this article didn’t bore me.  I also happen to know for a fact that the only true way, besides asking me, to decide an NBA champion is to look at the relative attractiveness of each teams’ cheerleaders.

Let’s dive into the research:

Cleveland Cavaliers

Meet Sarah

Straight from her bio on the Cavs site, here’s something you don’t know about Sarah:

I was lucky to not have to have plastic surgery after a dog basically bit my upper lip off in middle school!!!!! Thank God I can still smile.

That’s not enough to make the picture below not hot:

Kellie:

Sam

vs.

Atlanta Hawks

Briana

Leslie

Andrea

The Verdict: The Cavs survive a scare on the strength of emploing a dancer who overcame an obstacle like not having a top lip.

Orlando Magic

Brittany

Ashley

Mary

vs.

Not bad Orlando, what see what the competition has to offer:

Boston Celtics

I am officially in love with this chick, named Erica.

…in spite of this comment in her bio:

What are your future goals?

I plan to attend graduate school in International Fashion Management. Once my body deteriorates and I am no longer able to dance, I plan to pursue a career in the fashion industry and start a family.

If this woman is any indication, Erica could be dancing will into her 120’s.

and the other girl from the Celtics team with whom I’ve fallen in love, Melissa:

and finally, Casey:

The Verdict:

I refuse to pick against the new love my life.  Plus, look at that squad, tell me they aren’t the best in the league and looking hot and gyrating on a basketball court in between time-outs. Boston moves on to the conference finals.

Western Conference

Los Angeles Lakers

Lindsey and Tiffany

Whitney

Bria

vs.

Houston Rockets

Christina

Carrie

Julie

Verdict – The Laker girls have the pedigree, but I love Julie so much that the Rockets can’t possibly lose this series.  Sorry Kobe.

Dallas Mavericks

Kallie

Leah P.

Pretty solid showing Mavs. Let’s see what the Nugs have to offer:

vs.

Denver Nuggets

Lauren – She’s on here simply because her favorite food is “anything Italian,” and I happen to be everything Italian

Nicole – She’s on this list simply because she had the gall to talk about our first date on the internet:

My most embarrassing moment was when: I was on a date at a Colorado Avalanche game. At the game my date and I were put on kiss cam. I was so embarrassed that I didn’t kiss the guy, so of course the cameras kept coming back to us to make an awkward situation even worse. From that point on, each time the camera came back to us the entire arena would “boo” me. Needless to say, there wasn’t a second date.

Kerry

Verdict – As tough as this decision was, I have to go with Marc Cuban’s squad on the strength of Leah P.

Well there you have it sports fans, no reason to watch any of the series listed above.  See you again before the conference finals to make those games useless to watch.

The Angry T

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