Get a FREE GOAT!!! And a Mitsubishi, but I’d Rather have the Goat

I don’t know if this is the best promotion of all-time, but its definitely the best possible thing you could receive with a car, besides one of these incredibly stylish mo-fo’s.  For a limited time, Mitsubishi dealers in New Zealand are offering a free goat with purchase of this luxury New Zealandish automobile called the Triton ute:

Based on the looks of that thing above, I think I rather ride one of these guys:

Aesthetically speaking, I prefer the ultra-modern styling of the goat to the ultra-modern styling of the truck.   Mitsubishi marketing manager Peter Wilkins not only came up with this brilliant scheme, he also knows a lot about goats:

“Goats improved farm productivity by defending against weeds, were cheaper than toxic sprays, and there was no risk of goat flu affecting the tourism industry.”

Of course, this offer begs the question that most goat enthusiasts like myself just have to ask, “What if I already have enough goats?” Don’t worry purveyors of “Goat Fancy Magazine,” Peter Wilkins has a answer for you.

If the purchaser already had enough goats, Mitsubishi would supply a no-goat package including a five-year/100,000km extended warranty, five free warrant of fitness inspections, 5000km road user charges, five years of roadside assistance and $500 of genuine or approved Triton accessories.

First and foremost, are goats worth more than $500? According to my medieval bartering handbook a goat is worth roughly the same as three loaves of bread. Here’s what I do, I trade the $500 in Triton accessories, and buy 3 more goats.  Trade the free warrant of fitness inspections for a donkey and trade the 5oookm road user charges (whatever the hell that means) for a pony and start a stable.  Basically, purchase of Triton = instant stable, which as all those rich people that flock to Lexington in April every year know = instant ticket into high society.  I’m on the next plane to Queensland.

The Angry T

Now that you’ve read that fantastic piece of journalism, check out the video below featuring the Sklar Brothers:

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