So, Danny Ainge, you are interested in Reggie Miller? Never mind that Reggie will be 42 years old by the beginning of the season. Never mind that Reggie didn’t exactly finish with any left in the tank as he posted his career lows in field goal and three point percentage in his final season Hell, you are only asking him to play 15 minutes a game, what’s the worst that could happen when a 42 year old with diminishing skills tries to play defense and score against players half his age.
Danny, the fact that you are interested in Reggie makes me believe that you may be interested in a few other guys that I have earmarked. Here are some names, just let me know if you want to get in contact with these guys. Don’t worry, none of these guys is over 50, so energy, stamina and rust shouldn’t be a problem at all. You’re welcome Dan.
Mitch Richmond – You could throw Mitch out there at age 60, and he might go for 25 a night. Fortunately for you, Mitch is only 42, so I would expect nothing less than 40 per. Adam Keefe might not be a bad choice either.
Scottie Pippen – First of all, this guy still wants to play, or at least he did last season. Second, you could really use a backup small forward, unless you know something about Brandon Wallace that every other GM didn’t when he was left un-drafted last month.
Jeff Malone – Okay, he isn’t Karl Malone, but it is hard to sit down and have a conversation with Karl when he is always holding a firearm. Don’t sleep on Jeff though, this guy was a 19 point per game scorer in his career.
Tim Hardaway – Do you have anyone on your team that hates homosexuals Danny? Didn’t think so, pick Timmy up. Plus, you aren’t really going to start the season with Rajon Rondo as your starting point guard, are you? Okay then, now that you stopped living that lie, put the pen to paper and get this homophobe.
Detlef Schrempf– Did you know that Detlef Schrempf scored the 16th most points in the 90’s? Neither did I. I did know that Detlef Schrempf is an agile 6’10 forward that will outplay Glen Davis even at age 44…maybe. I didn’t believe that last statement either, until I saw the photo below.
Glen Rice – If you liked that Detlef Schrempf stat, then you will be happy to know that Glen scored the eighth most points in the 90’s. Glen also has the young legs that this team needs as he is a spry 40 years old.
Chris Mullin – Don’t think for one second that he wouldn’t step out of the front office and unto the court given the opportunity. Plus, I don’t think you will even remember who Reggie Miller is once you get a look at Mullin’s still sweet shooting touch.
Latrell Sprewell – Here is another guy who really wants to get back to work. You are going to have to pay him, because he has a family to feed, but he is only 36 years old. Since he had the last two years off, I am sure he is in great shape.
Jeff Hornacek – This is a man who know who to be a supporting player. He can shoot (40 percent career three point shooter) and he isn’t afraid to pass to a star. (5000 career assists)
Hersey Hawkins – Hersey Hawkins = Scorer. He scored 36 a game in his senior season at Bradley. That was 20 years ago you say? He hasn’t played a game in six years? Okay fine Danny, maybe you shouldn’t pick Hersey.
Rex Chapman – But I will tell you who you should pick, Rex “The Boy Wonder” Chapman. He can shoot, sort of. He can dunk, sort of. He can play back-up shooting guard better than a knee-less Tony Allen…probably. He has also kept himself in great shape, doesn’t he look fantastic?
There you go Danny, don’t say I never did anything for you. Plus, I have hundreds of other potential candidates, especially if you are willing to consider players over 50. Can you say Bernard King or World B. Free?
The Angry T
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