The MLB All-Manager First Team

Everyone knows that professional athletes hate their life once their career is finished..   The vast majority of athletes hang on until the bitter end and attempt to play well into their 60’s.  Once they realize the dream is over, the move into the broadcast booth or into the front office or unto the bench and stay as close as possible to the only thing that they have ever been good at.  (Editor’s note: I would do the exact same thing given the opportunity.  In fact I would keep showing up to the stadium in my uniform and make security escort me out before each game) Thankfully, their aversion to anything non-sport allows me to make a fantastic former baseball player / current manager team.   I am sure that this squad would be at least as good as the Pirates, and I am 100 percent certain that Andy Van Slyke could play for both teams.

Mike Scioscia C/ Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim Manager
13 Seasons
.259  68 HR  446 RBI
2 Time All-Star
2 World Series Championships

The cornerstone of every successful team is a leader behind the plate.  Scioscia wasn’t the most gifted player during his career, but he known as a leader and a winner.  Scioscia is also considered one of the games top managers, so he might need to pull a Tree Rollins and become this team’s Player-Coach.

 Don Mattingly 1B / New York Yankees Bench Coach
14 Seasons
.307 222 HR 1099 RBI
6 Time All-Star

“Donnie Baseball” was an easy choice to be the team’s first basemen.  He was a special talent that had a chance at the Hall of Fame until his career was cut short due to injuries.  Forced to shave his sideburns by Mr. Burns and his hair by Steinbrenner, Don probably has had enough of silly team rules.  But don’t worry about that with this team Mr. Mattingly, you can go all Jeff Reardon on us if you want.

 Willie Randolph 2B/ New York Mets Manager
18 Seasons
.276  54 HR  687 RBI   .979 Fielding %
6 Time All-Star
1 World Series Championship

Randolph is the prototypical second basemen and 2-hitter.  He was consistantly one of the top walk and On Base % guys in the league and he’ll be a perfect glue guy for this team.  I spent 10 minutes looking for something interesting about him to write about, but this guys about as interesting as a piece of white bread and a glass of lukewarm water.

Alan Trammell SS/ Chicago Cubs Bench Coach
20 Seasons
.285   185 HR 1003 RBI
6 Time All-Star
4 Gold Gloves
World Series Champ and MVP

Trammell was one of my favorite players growing up and his numbers are deserving of a spot on this prestigious team.  I have a program signed by Tram that is still in pretty good condition.  Unfortunately, I was like eight at the time so that same program is signed by Paws the Tiger mascot, and Jose Lima, the Tiger’s other mascot at the time.  I think Trammell will enjoy his time back on the field, because I figure that if I still see Alex Sanchez and Warren Morris in my nightmares, the guy that managed them must too.

Terry Pendleton 3B/ Hitting Coach
15 Seasons
1991 NL MVP
.270  140 HR  946 RBI
1 All-Star Appearance
3 Gold Gloves
5 Trips to the World Series

Terry Pendleton has two choices.  Play for my team, or go into the coach’s showers with Bobby Cox 162 days out of the year.  I don’t think we’ll have to pay Terry too much to play on the team.

 Glenallen Hill RF/ Colorado Rockies First Base Coach
13 Seasons
.271 186 HR 586 RBI

Glenallen Hill is a selfish pick on my part.  Would Hal McRae have been a better fit for this team?  Yes.  Does Hal McRae have better stats then Hill?  Yes.  Has Hal McRae gone absolutely ballistic at reporters?  Yes.  But Does Hal McRae hit 2000 foot home runs?  Welcome to the team Mr. Hill.

Ricky Henderson CF/ New York Mets First Base Coach
25 Seasons
.279 297 HR  1115 RBI   2190 BB  1406 SB
2 World Series Championships
10 Time All-Star

If Ricky had been a terrible baseball player, he would have made this list simply because when he was playing, he used to stand completely naked in front of the mirror before every game and repeat “Ricky is the best,” for several minutes.   I would just repeat 24 more reasons why he is here from this list, but you should just go ahead and read this fantastic post for yourself. ( Thanks to 100 Percent Injury Rate)

 Andy Van Slyke LF/ Detroit Tigers First Base Coach
13 Seasons
.274 164 HR 792 RBI
3 Time All-Star
5 Gold Gloves

Are you sure they used steroids in baseball?  Van Slyke looked a little like this kid from Little Giants in the Mid to Late 80’s.  Despite his lithe frame, Van Slyke had a great glove and a special execmption from the commissioner that allowed him to come to the plate with a hammer (Look closely at the picture) instead of a baseball bat.  Also, anyone that probably endured several hundred swirlies courtesy of Barry Bonds deserves to play on this team.

Harold Baines DH/ Chicago White Sox First Base Coach
22 Seasons
.289   384 HR   1628 RBI
6 Time All Star

Harold Baines came out of his mother’s womb and went 2-5 with 2 RBIs the next day.  With only 5.3% of the votes on the Hall of Fame ballot, he has the most hits and RBIs of any eligible player not in the Hall of Fame.  Perhaps a few more solid games playing for a fictional team that I made up will help his chances.   

Ron Guidry LHP/ New York Yankees Pitching Coach
14 seasons
170-91    3.29 ERA
1 Cy Young Award
4 Time All Star
5 Gold Gloves
2 World Series Championships

You would be shocked how few pitching coaches in the Major Leagues were actually good pitchers back in their prime.  Guidry and Dave Righetti are the only 2 that had any real success at the top level.  Guidry won 20 games or more 3 times, and over 15 games an additional 3 times.  While Guidry was a bit before my time, his 25-3 record in 1978 gave him more wins in one year then most of other pitching coaches had in their career.  I also like his mustache.

Violent J

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