We don’t do nearly enough how-to posts at TheAngryT and now is as good a time as any to help out the general public. Many of you have wondered what steps you might need to take acheive the lofty position of high school football coach. Thankfully a high school football coach in Florida has spelled out the steps to high school football coaching success better than I could have.
(The face of a mentor, the face of a positive role model. The face of a probably felon)
1. Develop a passion for leading kids
2. Find ways to motivate children to grow into responsible men and continually better themselves on and off the football field
3. Get a job at a high school as a janitor and assistant varsity football coach
4. Smoke 1-2 joints on a Sunday night
5. Snort 2-3 lines of blow on a Sunday night
6. Hang out with your 18 year old high school quarterback (As a 30 year old man) on Sunday niht
7. Hang out with your 18 year old high school QB (as a 30 year old man) until 1:30 am on a Monday morning
8. Get pulled over by the cops at 1:30 am on a Monday morning as a passenger in a car driven by your 18 year old QB
9. Drop a small bag of coke and 4 grams of marijuana on the ground by accident during the traffic stop
10. Allow the cops to find the loaded handgun that you were also driving around with 1:30 am on a Monday morning
and finally…
11. Learn your lesson:
 ”Yeah, I learned a lesson,” Dotson (the janitor in question) said Wednesday. “I want to put this behind me. I definitely made a mistake and I shouldn’t have been out that late.”
Thank god he learned his lesson. I’m also glad he wants to put this behind him. I’m certain he’ll never smoke a joint, do blow or hang out with an 18 year old while doing both, because that’s what “putting this behind him” would mean.
 I’m hoping this wouldn’t be another of those Stallworth type situation where someone says that they learned their lesson, but are really more happy that they got off with a lighter prison sentence than Paris Hilton’s sentence after DUI #3, but I’m sure it is. I’m not sure there is anything else to say in this situation other than idiot, HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL!!!, and idiot. (and yes, I am pissed that my high school golf coach didn’t care enough to spend this type of quality time with me)
The Angry T
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