If you read my first column ever, you will remember that I have a soft spot for Bill Simmons, much in the same way that Chris Henry has a soft spot for felonies. While I feel that he can sometimes write a decent column, I often feel that he is a clown who will one day give me an ulcer. To make my point, I can refer you to espn.com’s Sport Guy’s World. Simmons wrote a damn good column about the passing of Red Auerbach filled with his memories of the greatest coach and general manager that we will probably ever see in sports. Then, and only then, do we see the true greatness of Simmons. In his other column about the NFL, I barely make it through two paragraphs before I am forced to throw up on the computer screen due to his outright refusal to let me read one column without getting pissed off. Simmons says:
“You know Mike Martz is thinking, ‘Hey, we have the third-ranked offense and the 30th-ranked defense right now. … This isn’t MY fault.’ Fortunately for the Lions, nobody in Detroit even knows there’s a football season happening right now.”
Really Bill? Before you wrote that last sentence, did you even think about looking at attendance figures for this years’ Lions. The Lions have sold out every one of their home games this season despite going 1-6. In spite of a terrible team led by another inept Italian (I can say that, I have a black friend) the fans still show up and care, for some ungodly reason. In fact, they have sold out every game since Ford Field opened in 2002 despite going 3-13, 5-11, 6-10, and 6-10 in successive seasons. Even worse, they sold out the vast majority of their games while playing in the palatial Silverdome which sat 80,000 people. Say what you want about the Lions’ terrible teams for the last 59 years, but do not question the fans. Like man’s best friend, what we lack in intelligence we make up for in loyalty. This article is kind of garbage that makes me believe, with my complete lack of talent, that I could one day ascend to the level of “idiot that gets paid really well” like Bill Simmons. I hope Simmons is one of the 4 people that read this column and I hope he gets pissed off because for once I want him to feel the pain and agony that he puts me through when I make the mistake of reading one his columns. And before you geniuses say, “Why don’t you just not read his columns?” I can only answer you by saying that I will also watch the Lions game this weekend, go figure.
The Angry T
Popularity: 1% [?]
