Freakish Sports Injuries Not Involving Milton Bradley

Most you are now aware that Milton Bradley has torn his ACL while being held back by a manager while arguing a call.  This is a hilarious injury for everyone involved except Milton Bradley, his family and the San Diego Padres.   I have compiled a list of more hilarious injuries and several Wade Boggs and Fred Savage related videos.  Even if you are completely uniterested in injuries, make sure you watch the Fred Savage video.  If you are interested in more hilarious injuries, I encourage you to check to this link, and this link .

10. Mooche Norris  – In 99’ while playing for the Sonics, Moochie was placed on the injury list due to “insomnia.”  With all that time on his hands, you would figure that he would use some of it to become a better basketball player.  Unfortunately, he probably used it to braid and un-braid his hair, which is why Moochie’s “Similar Players” section of Basketball-Reference includes such legends as Jacque Vaughan, John Bagley and Darnell Valentine

9. Sammy Sosa –  In 2004, “Slammin Sammy” was forced to miss a couple games after a violent sneezing fit caused spasms in his steroid riddled back muscles. (Allegedly)  It is very hard to say anything about Sammy that hasn’t already been said 300 times. That is why I am going to let Sammy speak for himself. I think Don Baylor does a pretty good job in this commercial as well.

8. Clint Barmes – In June 2005, midway through an impressive rookie campaign, Clint Barmes was carrying deer meat up his stairs when he tripped, fell, and broke his collarbone.  Clint has never been the same since the incident and since he was uncoordinated enough to fall UP the stairs, anything he did at the major league level was probably luck anyway.

7. Jeff Kent – While playing for the Dodgers, Jeff broke his wrist washing his truck.  Understandable, considering his truck is a 1,500 pound Alaskan Brown Bear that he puts a saddle on and rides too and from the ballpark.  I am not one to speculate, but with a mustache like that, a porn related injury is not of the question.  I can’t tell you how many times I injured my wrist while…we will save that one for later.

6. Cebric Ceballos – This isn’t an injury, but it is still a fantastic reason for missing a game.  Ced buys a boat, immeadiatly takes it out, never reads the boat manual and get stranded in the middle of the lake.  I might miss a few games too, if I was forced to shower every day with Vlade Divac.

 5. Wade Boggs – In the mid-’80s, Boggs was in a Toronto hotel during a series against the Blue Jays.  As is his way, Wade was wearing cowboy boots.  Most of you know the dangers associated with cowboy boots, but Wade completely ignored safety procedures when pulling them off and lost his balance and injured his back when he fell into a couch.  This is the second funniest situation involving cowboy boots next to thi:s (Warning: Lots of F-Bombs will ensue if you press play on this link)

No Wade Boggs thought is complete without this video, even though he is a liar.

4. Lionel Simmons – Lionel had just won NBA player of the week honors during the 1990-1991 season.  Unfortunately, Lionel got so excited with this honor that he played hours upon hours of Nintendo Game Boy, which caused wrist tendonitis, which caused him to miss a few games.  I had a similar injury, but two years earlier following the release of the movie The Wizard with Fred Savage, and six years later when I discovered porn.

 3. Steve Sparks – I have always had great respect for people that can tear phone books in half.  Apparently, so did Steve Sparks, because he tried to replicate the feat after the Brewers were taken to see a motivational speaker.  Steve was unsuccessful in tearing the phone book in half and dislocated his shoulder in the process.   I know the pressure of making your teammates think you are tough when you throw knuckleballs must be unbearable, but next time just win an international video game competition, it definitely worked for Fred Savage in The Wizard.

 
2. Marty Cordova – Former Cleveland Indian Marty Cordova was a pioneer in metrosexuality.  He fake tanned in 1995, before it became really sweet for guys to go to tanning beds.  Unfortunately, Marty fell asleep in the tanning booth, severly burned himself, and had to miss a couple games.  This tends to happen with pioneers though, a few eggs must be broken to make an omelet. I salute yor Marty for your never ending struggle to allow men to act more like teenage girls. 

1. Glenallen Hill – Despite his hulking size, Glenallen hates spiders.  He was reading Charlotte’s Web one afternoon and decieded to take a nap.  Dreams of pigs and aracnids quickly turned to nightmares and as Glenallen roused himself from sleep, he fell through a glass coffee table and suffered several deep cuts. I find it hard to believe that Glenallen fears anything after watching the video below.  In fact, I may have nightmares about that face.

The Angry T

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