What is TV premiere week without a healthy dose of Lost? For the last
3 years devoted followers have anxiously awaited this week to find
out the secrets that were promised in the season finale. They soon
realized that they spent the entire summer debated the mysticism of
Lost on the message boards for nothing, because ABC didn’t reveal
jack shit. In fact, each season premiere created more mysteries than
it solved. We’re coming up on the 4th season and we still don’t know
what that damn robotic smoke, people-killing monster that used to
sound like a dinosaur and now sounds like a grappling gun really is. That is
just one of the 437 mysteries the self-founded Angry T church of Lost
is trying to figure out, if not for the pure reason of getting tax-
exempt status. But I digress, since this is a sports blog, you must
be wondering what this or lost in general has to do with sports,
besides that pathetic golf course they made, which I bet I could set
the course record on, as no one, especially Hurly, looks like they are
any good at golf.
Well, my loyal readers, here is the thing, it has nothing to do with
sports, but since Lost isn’t coming back till January, I thought
everyone might desperately need a quick fix. So I have put together a
list of NFL players who this season remind me of my favorite
Losties. Even if you don’t watch the show, which would mean you are
A. gay, or B. blind (in which case you probably aren’t reading this),
you can probably still get a good laugh out of this article. So
without further ado.
Locke – This guy was paralyzed before he came to the
island and now he can walk again. Who does this remind you of? Well
hopefully it will be the guy from Buffalo, God willing, but as of now
it is Randy Moss. Apparently, Moss has spent the last few seasons in a
wheel chair unable to use his legs because he has done absolutely
nothing on the football field. Now, the mythical creature
that is Bellicheck has made him whole again and given him back the
use of his legs. Not to mention he only has one kidney and used to
sells boxes for a living (I can’t actually back that up). I can back
up the fact that he is the biggest prick in sports, but I digress yet again
Popularity: unranked [?]
