The 6 Worst Homecoming Parade Royalty Rides

Surprisingly this Toyota import has room for the royalty to squeeze through.

It’s that time of year when high school girls go crazy over a stupid event that men dread unless there is some extracurricular activity involved after the really stupid homecoming dance.

As we all know there are major moments in a woman’s life:

Their first boy band download, being allowed to wear makeup, getting their first credit card, first Victoria’s Secret credit card, being named to the high school homecoming court and riding in the high school homecoming parade.

Then the girl shows up and figures out that her enemy is riding in the Porsche and little Debbie has to force her way through a Camry sunroof.

Hence, “The 6 Worst Homecoming Parade Royalty Rides.”

Sleazo: “Honey, we are so proud of you. Grandma and grandpa will be along the route to cheer you on.”

Then Elizabeth learns that the car she’s riding in has Idaho personalized plates reading “Sleazo.” Classy!

The Original Grocery Getter: Ask people in the know about a 1964 Ford Mustang and they’ll tell you that it was one of Ford’s greatest mistakes next to the luxurious 1989 Taurus that would turn into a rust bucket in about 1.75 years.

Was this supposed to be a sports car?

The Sorority Sister Car: Can someone please tell us what that middle bar was for in the VW Cabriolet? If you needed something to hold up the roof maybe a different design was in order. Instead it was kept and sorority girls had a bar to hang onto while thrusting their bodies to Backstreet Boys tunes.

The Baby Batter Machine: If your daughter is ever asked to show off her royalty riding in a car that has more square footage than a NYC studio apartment, be leery. This bad boy was made for Boss Hog, not Keri’s rise to fame at Central High School.

Pussification Of Men In America: Doug finally got cool enough to make the homecoming court and gets to catch a ride with his courtmate Allison. Then he sees that it’ll be a VW Beetle carrying his ass down Main St. as his drunk buddies yell at him. Not fun. Not a single car has tortured American men like this ride. It’s the most ridiculous homecoming ride of the modern era and should be banned from the homecoming circuit.

Care to debate?

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