The NBA season kicked off last night with a Spurs victory of the Trailblazers. The NBA is my favorite sport simply because there is no where else in the world where Stephen Jackson could be employed. To get acquainted with all the off-season moves, I was perusing the rosters and found that a lot of teams have a lot of talent sitting on the bench. I am not talking about Francisco Elson or Travis Outlaw but rather the guys who won’t suit up all year. I am talking about the assistant coaches. There is a ridiculous amount of talent at the assistant coach position in today’s NBA. So, in honor of the beginning of the NBA season and Stephen Jackson, we have put together All-NBA assistant coach team. Tell me this first team doesn’t have a shot at winning 20 games in today NBA:
All-Assistant Coach First Team
C – Kareem Adbul Jabbar – Lakers – If he isn’t high, he could still score 20 a game in this league. In fact, even if he is, he could probably still score 18 against the average NBA center.
PF – Bob McAdoo- Miami Heat – If he can come close to the 34.5 ppg and 15 rpg that he had 74-75, this squad could be dangerous. (Look at a young Phil Jackson in the frame)
SF – Alex English – Toronto Raptors – “The Blade” adds scoring (25,000 in his career), length and that sick jersey.
SG – Adrian Dantley – Denver Nuggets – With A.D., a man who scored 30 points per game in four consecutive seasons, these team might score 150 a game.
PG – Terry Porter – Detroit Pistons – Terry is great from long range and ranks 11th on the all-time assist list with 7160 dimes.
All-Assistant Coaches Second Team
C- Patrick Ewing – Orlando – The last two years have seen referees call a record number of traveling violations. This could spell doom for Patrick.
PF – Dave Cowens – Detroit Pistons – Cowens brings defensive toughness, rebounding and championship experience (Sorry Patrick) to the front court. (Did you know Dave Cowens could dunk like this?)
SF – Kurt Rambis – LA Lakers – Every team need a glue guy, and Rambo is just that. Plus, he could board and with him at the three, this team will never give up an offensive rebound.
SG – Mark Aguirre – New York Knicks – The former #1 pick out of Depaul will be a nice scoring compliment to Ewing and Cowens. (4 HOF’s in one commercial)
PG – Paul Pressey – New Orleans – (This is where the pickings got slim) We are going to go big and put Paul, who was one of the first point/forward type players, at the point. He averaged 5.1 assists per in his career, so he can dish if necessary. Most importantly, Paul was a three time All-Defensive selection, and with Kurt Rambs in the starting lineup, this team better be able to stop the other guys.
Note: Wes Unseld (Washington Wizards) should be somewhere on this team, maybe in place of Kurt Rambis. I would hate to play Wes out of position though, as it does a huge disservice to the man. So, he goes on the first team and plays big minutes as the sixth man.
Out of the 11 players chosen for these two teams, six are Hall of Famers. I am fairly certain that the first team might be able to finish third in the Atlantic Division, no offense to the vaunted 2007-2008 New York Knickerbockers.
The Angry T
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