I Guess Sage Rosenfels had Already Signed with Seiko

I am not breaking any new ground when I say that Eli Manning is not playing well.  However, it’s not like Eli was setting records when he was “playing well.”  His career QB rating (73.6) and completion percentage (55.1) are Harrington-esque at best. 

Eli struggled again today with 2 INTs and a lost fumble. As he continues to struggle I look forward to watching him fail, have the game go to a commercial, and then watch his Citizen Eco Drive commercials.  “Eli Manning is unstoppable, just like his Citizen Eco-Drive Watch.”  A less true statement has not been uttered since the last I hooked up with a girl (2003) and told her those open sores in my “special places” weren’t contagious.  I am fairly sure that the owners of Citizen (A Tokyo based company) thought they had signed Peyton Manning and are now wildly disappointed with his less successful, frightened-child-looking brother.  I have to believe that is not the image that Citizen is looking for portray. 

Eli is not alone in the world of underperforming endorsers.  I have put together a list of the worst athletes that have endorsement deals in an attempt to make Eli feel better:

 5. Bernard Robinson  - And 1 – The proud owner of 4.5 ppg career scoring average, and a torn MCL, is part of And 1’s stable of talented NBA players. And 1doesn’t even care enough to update his profile on their site. Don’t you remember the good ol’ days when you had to at least be an average player to get a shoe deal.  Well, those days have long passed, see below.

4. Damon Jones – Li Ning – Jones is actually a better basketball player than Bernard, but his deal with a Chinese shoe company lands him one spot ahead of Bernard.   La Ning is a Chinese show company looking to make a splash and they got out and sign Damon Jones.  Apparently, they settled on Jones because he was the only player who would accept 11.25 an hour for how long it took to film this 30 second commercial. (And Wang Zhi Zhi was unavailable)

3. Eric Ogbogu –  Under Armour – “Big E” will be forever linked to the birth of Under Armour and the question, “Will You Protect This House?” Even though he was a hulking physical specimen, he didn’t do much in the NFL and the vast majority of those who watched the commercial had any clue that Eric was the man in it. 

2. Marc Denis – Reebok – Reebok chooses to endorse 15 NHL athletes and one of them is Marc Denis.  “Sive” only begins to describe this guy so far this year.  He has been benched in favor of household name Joham Holmqvist. When he does get the nod, he lets in over four goals a game, possibly out of spite. 

1. Orien Greene – Converse -.  The mere fact that Converse signed a 2.5 per game scorer and career 12th man to an endorsement deal should instantly devalue their product, sink their stock price and bankrupt their company.  Mr. Taylor is spinning in his grave.

You are welcome for the pick me up Eli.

The Angry T

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