Dads everywhere, I have important news, you may want to listen to this. Stop forcing little Johnny to run perfect square-ins in the backyard for three hours after school. Don’t worry about withholding dinner until Billy throws 15 straight perfect fade patterns. Let Tommy saddle up to the dinner table and eat as much as he wants, just make sure that after dinner, he practices his snapping.
Dads, you could have been the captain of the debate team and your wife could have been unable to tie her shoes in a coordinated manner, but your off-spring could still be a college long-snapper. With a little work and a lot of hateful tirades when your son even thinks about putting school first, your son could secure a scholarship to a top Division I program. Don’t believe me? Ask George Morales, who despite being completely unknown in the world of college football recruiting, signed a letter of intent to snap footballs at the University of Michigan. Morales in unranked on Rivals.com and I am pretty sure they used his school picture on the site, yet he now has a college football scholarship to Michigan, because he can accurately throw a ball between his legs.
What are the chances that your son even wins the job of starting quarterback at his high school? It could be pretty slim depending on how good the team is and how athletic your son might be. But I guarantee that very few other fathers are grooming their kids to be the high school long snapper. Once your child wins the high school job, the college scholarship is almost inevitable. Just keep putting pounds on the boy and make damn sure that he can throw a football accurately between his legs from seven and fourteen yards.
This is by far the most untapped college scholarship in the country. Forget buying the big book full of ridiculous college scholarships. It won’t matter if your third cousin had four toes on his right foot and that entitles your child to a 93 dollar college scholarship, you will be going to school for free.
Your welcome dad, I just saved you precious father/son time that you could use to get drunk with your other middle aged alcoholic friends.
The Angry T
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