It is good to know that no matter what happens to Roger Clemens and his steroid charges, he is in good hands as long as he stays close with Rusty Hardin. No, Rusty Hardin is not Roger’s favorite pornstar, nor is it the name of special friend Roger’s wife uses while he is away on road trips. Oh no, Rusty Hardin is Roger Clemens’ lawyer. Hardin is the man that will make it very clear to us that Roger is a not only a victim of a steroid smear campaign, but also a humanitarian, a philanthropist, a licensed midwife, a patriot, THE Patroit, and the successor to mother Teresa of Calcutta.
Look at his list of clientele, Hardin is extremely qualified to represent Roger. Hardin represented the estate of Anna Nicole Smith’s billionaire ex-husband. Even though Anna-Nicole starred in a great film with Hardin’s cousin, Very Rusty Hard-On, the original Rusty made sure Anna didn’t get a dime. Remember that whole Calvin Murphy sexual molestation case? It was all taken care of, thanks to good ol Rusty Hardin. When Steve Francis and Rudy Tomjanovich were caught driving while intoxicated, they called Rusty and he made it all disappear. I have to imagine his easiest case was when he represented Wade Boggs on an assault case. Boggs was sued by the flight attendant on a team charter. Everyone knows that Wade is always a perfect gentleman on team flights. Rusty convinced the jury to side with Wade after only four minutes of deliberation. This guy is simply a miracle worker, on par with Anne Sullivan, and maybe better. By the time Rusty is done, George Mitchell will be serving 7-10 on charges of meth distribution, raquettering and money laundering.
On a only semi-related note, there has been no word yet on whether Selig, or federal investigators will pursue charges of “Being over 40 years old and still frosting your tips,” against Roger. I hope they do, and when they do, I hope they take Merrill Hoge down with them.
The Angry T
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