Thanks for Absolutely Nothing

The vast majority of fantasy football seasons end in Week 16, meaning that most Week 17 performances are virtually useless for fantasy football purposes. For some reason, that didn’t stop the many players from playing well despite the fact that there were absolutely no fantasy implications.  In fact, many of the players that absolutely screwed me in my championship game last week decided to step up their efforts and rub in the fact that I lost a fantasy championship, 120 dollars, and the eternal glory that come with a win. 

For instance, coming off a fantastic 11-23, 115 yard, one TD and two INT performance in Week 16, Carson Palmer exploded when there was absolutely nothing on the line. (331, three TD’s, one INT) With Palmer under center, we have put together the All One Week Too Late Team, made up of players that barely showed up when it counted for fantasy owners, and then came out to play when there was absolutely nothing  on the line (except a playoff position…blah,blah,blah).

QB – Carson Palmer

Week 16 – 115 yards, two INTs , one TD – 4 Fantasy Points
Week 17 – 311 yards, three TDs, one INT – 22 Fantasy Points

This type of performance has been this guy’s mo the entire season.  One fantastic week followed by two steaming dumps the next two weeks.  

RB – Maurice Morris –

Week 16 – 11 rush, 40 yards – Four Fantasy Points
Week 17 – 13 rush, 91 yards, one TD – 15 Fantasy Points

Morris was a solid fantasy pick-up once Shaun Alexander decided to age 13 years in a matter of one off-season.  But when it actually counted in the fantasy championship game, his workload was reduced and he failed to produce.

Great call by Musberger

RB – Pierre Thomas

Week 16 – Three rush, 17 yards, six receptions, 29 yards – Five Fantasy points
Week 17 – 20 rush, 105 yards, 12 receptions, 121 yards – 29 fantasy points

Pierre Thomas could have been a huge championship game pick-up, if he put up those 29 big points seven days earlier. With that being said, Pierre can hardly be blamed for the gigantic egg the Saints dropped at Soldier Field with a playoff spot on the line.

WR – Larry Fitzgerald

Week 16 – Seven receptions, 72 yards – 7 Fantasy Points
Week 17 – 11 receptions, 172 yards, Two TD’s – 29 Fantasy points

Thank you for the 22 point boost when you are not only out of the playoff race, but also done helping me win my league.  What happened to laying down when your season is over? Where is your pride Larry?

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And this one, another great call be Musberger.

WR – Chad Johnson

Week 16 – Four receptions, 44 yards, one rush, 16 yards – 6 Fantasy Points
Week 17 – Four receptions, 131 yards, two TDs – 25 Fantasy Points

Hey Chad, the next time you put on a jacket after your catch a touchdown, make sure it says “Sole Person Responsible for losing The Angry T $120.”  It would only be relevant to around six people, but it would accurately represent how much he ruined my life.

TE – Alge Crumpler –

Week 16 – Two receptions, 12 yards, TD – 7 Fantasy Points
Week 17 – Three receptions, 67 yards, 2 TD’s – 18 Fantasy Points

Crumpler was largely useless this season, partially due to injury and partially due to Joey Harrington’s limp wristed throwing style.  Alge then decided to show up when it made absolutely no difference in any way, shape or form. 

(Here he is making fun of said throwing motion)

K – Matt Stover

Week 16 – 0 points
Week 17 – 2 field goals and three extra points – Nine Points

You can’t blame Matt for not making it into field goal range.  However, I refuse to blame myself for playing him, so I will have to place the blame on anyone who called Brian Billick an offensive genius at any point in his career.  Randall Cunningham can make anyone coach look good.

Defense – Green Bay Packers

Week 16 – Negative Four Fantasy Points – 35 points allowed
Week 17 – 8 fantasy points – 13 points allowed

The juggernaut Chicago Bears offense hung 35 points on Green Bay’s D while Detroit’s so called “Greatest Show put together by a man with a Learning Disability on Turf” was only able to score one TD in a meaningless game. You figure would Nick Barnett’s insatiable anger would be able to inspire the team to beat the likes of Kyle Orton and Mark Bradley when it counts.

The Angry T

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