In Honor of Eli Manning, We Present the Improbable Hero Team

Tom Brady he is not, but Eli Manning is turning himself into a reasonable NFL QB. When the Giants made the playoffs very few believed that they would even advance past the wildcard road. But Eli Manning refused to hear the doubters. He refused to stain his pants under pressure like he had done during the regular season. Instead, he simply went out and threw four TDs against 0 interceptions and completed passes at a 71 percent clip in two playoff victories.

Thus far, Eli has proved the doubters completely wrong. So we decieded put together a list of people that, just like Eli, who made the naysayers look like idiots.

Mel Clark in Angels in the Outfied – No one in the clubhouse, not even belieguered manager George Knox, believed that Mel should make the start in game seven of the American League championship. Only a possibly high, halucenating young boy named Roger believed in Mel, and Mel gave the team a solid eight innings and a Greg Maddux like defensive play that saved a run.

The Waterboy’s Football Exploits – What is more improbable than a 5’10 175 pound, out of shape, stuttering waterboy with no football knowledge, leading the nation in sacks with about 15 a game? Adam Sandler reminds me of a young Zach Thomas minus 75 pounds and plus an unhealthy obsession for “Captain Insano.”

Lex Luger Slams Yokozuna / Hogan Slams Andre the Giant – At the two minute mark, Luger slammed more Japanese beef than what gets served at your local Benihana on a given night. USA! USA! USA!

And the forerunner to Luger’s Kobe Beef Slam:

Goldberg Scores the Winning Goal in DIII: The Mighty Ducks – After Julie “The Cat” Gaffney took his starting spot in goal during tryouts, Goldberg is forced to switch to defense. Against, all odds, Goldberg scores the game-winning goal in the final seconds agains the varsity in DIII. ( Fast-forward to the two minute mark and let the magic happen)

Klitz Stepping Into the Porn Scene “The Girl Next Door” – Matthew Kidman’s plan to film a porn in his school during prom nearly falls through when his star comes down with stagefright. Fortunately for all parties involved, the seemingly nerdy Klitz steps up to the table and penetrates the porn star as everyone rejoices.

Jeff Goldblum / Randy Quaid – Independence Day – I have to believe that Randy Quaid was very low on the aliens threat watch when they attacked earth. However, he was definetly on their radar when he screamed, “I’m Bacccckkkkk!!!” as he flew he F-16 into the spaceship to put it out of commission. Jeff Goldblum also came out of nowhere to help the humans implant a virus in the mothership. It was sheer genius, even though no one believed in him except played the guy from Taxi, who plays his dad/ Plus, Goldblum saved the earth, which is pretty impressive in my book..

Verbal Kint – I guess you can’t really call him a hero, because he killed a bunch of people, including all this friends and business partners, but it was definetly improbable that he turned out to be the bad guy. (What a great scene)

Danny McGrath Shooting Eric Gordon in Billy Madison – Who the hell saw this one coming the first time they watched the movie? I also love how Eric makes no attempt to even answer the question about “Business Ethics” before he turns to violence. You would figure that a man who climbed th corporate ladder at a multi-national corporation like Madison Hotels would at least be able to fake an answer.

BY FAR MY FAVORITE IMPROBABLE HERO AND THE MVP OF THE IMPROBABLE HERO TEAM

Uncle Jesse in the Charity Basketball Game Episode of Full House – As you may remember, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar guest stars in this episode, yet Uncle Jesse steals the show when he hits the game winning from his “sweet spot.” (Anything past minute four on that video is gold, pure sitcom gold)

Congrats again to Eli. I hope you continue proving every analyst wrong, because every time Emmitt Smith or Merrill Hoge is right about anything, a kitten gets cancer.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]