The Pizza Man Continues to Deliver

There is no reason to talk about the NFL playoffs yet. By Saturday you will have heard so much analysis that Mark Schlereth and Emmitt Smith will be on your hit list, if they already aren’t. So, I would like to re-introduce you to man that you are probably well aware of. However, you may not be familiar with his material because he plays for a Lions team that has been about as successful as Titan from American Gladiators has been at convincing people he is not a homosexual (Not that there’s anything wrong with that).

Remember this is the same guy who delivered pizzas for Pizza Hut this season after he commented that he rarely tips the pizza delivery guy, so he has a track record.

The Detroit Free Press has put together the Best of Roy in 2007 and I have sifted through their quotes to find the top 10. (Questions in Bold)

Honorable Mention: Robinson: What about “Friday Night Lights,” the movie about your high school alma mater, Permian? You were actually in that movie.
I only had one line in that movie. I should have been Boobie Miles or something.

10. On Calvin Johnson:

“He’s real quiet. … He’s a good athlete, he’s big as hell, he’s Megatron.”

9. On needing a new quarterback:

“We have J.T. and we have Drew, and I think they’re really sold on Drew being the backup and one day being the starter here. But if one of those quarterbacks fall into our lap, like the Ryan kid, or if we happen to make a trade to get up, I think they might do that. Kitna is getting to be 97 years old, so we do need that solid backup.”

8. On the gameplan in the loss to Arizona, in which the Lions ran for minus-18 yards

“To be honest, I don’t know what the game plan was. … (Mike Martz) called a pretty decent game, minus the non-running factor.

7. On Brett Favre:

Brett Favre’s having a heck of a year. I wish I would have picked him in my fantasy league.

6. On why Jeff Garcia stunk in Detroit:

Cause he blamed everybody else. He blamed everybody else but himself. Like it’s (the receivers’) fault. In the West Coast system, my son can run the West Coast system and he’s only two.

5. Will the fade route ever get called consistently in the red zone?

It’s the most simple play in football. It’s no longer the typical wide receivers where you’re 5-9, 5-10 and can run. “Megatron” (Calvin Johnson) is 12-foot-3 — it’s easy pitch and catch. Just throw the ball up or throw it on the line, but put it up so the guy can go get it. (Arizona’s Larry) Fitzgerald made a living off that in college and here in the pros. Me and Calvin are trying to get there. … I think that should be one of our plays down there.

4. What do you think he (Shaun Rogers) likes more playing football or eating?

I’d have to say football. You know they say the football is pigskin. He may eat the football.

3. What was that dance you did? You did like a shimmy, and your stomach was showing.

Yeah little shimmy little shake. Just a fat wide receiver in the NFL trying to make a play for his team.

Did you just call yourself a fat wide receiver?

Oh no question. I used to have a six-pack you know. I don’t know where that thing went.

From Yahoo:

2. A lot of guys will spend Tuesday recovering from a big Monday night out. Some guys use that as their party night, but I hear from some spies over with the Lions that you aren’t that kind of guy. They say you don’t hit the club scene. Actually, they say you’re cheap.

Oh yeah, that’s true. I’m the cheapest guy on the team. No doubt. I’m keeping all of my money.

The cheapest on the team? How cheap? Do you use coupons?

Nah, I don’t use coupons. But when I go grocery shopping, I look at prices. A lot of guys don’t care about the prices, but I pay attention to them. I’m still a name-brand guy, though. I don’t buy like, generic stuff.

1A. I talked to (Chicago Bears cornerback) Nathan Vasher and he said to ask you about your grenadine obsession. He says you’re a freak about it.

Yeah. It’s that cherry syrup that you can put into drinks. It’s the greatest stuff ever made.

Vasher says you’re crazy about it. That every where you go, you’re mixing it into something.

Oh yeah. Sprite. Tea. Orange juice and pineapple juice. I can drink it in anything.

1. (On his ability to play the sax and the piano) Where did that come from? Is there a musician in the family?

Williams: I just got involved in orchestra and band when I was a kid. I was tall, so basically I was the only one who was tall enough to hold the bass in orchestra. So I played bass and picked up other instruments along the way. I taught myself on the piano. I was in band or orchestra right up to high school. They used to call me the “Orch Dork.”

Ha. The “Orch Dork?” That’s funny. So you’re self taught on the piano? That’s pretty impressive.

Williams: I have good ears. They’re really small. These ears can hear anything within a mile.

But you didn’t stay in band in high school?

Williams: Nah, I had to stop. I don’t think they would have wanted me to play in the games and then go out and march with the band at halftime.

There you have it, Roy is the 2008 Chad Johson. Unfortunately, no one will care because unless the Lions are good, and their current 55 year plan doesn’t dictate they will win anything until 2019.

The Angry T

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