I can almost guarantee that anyone who pays 10 dollars to watch “Meet the Spartans,” will be disappointed. With that being said, I love the whole “throwing really annoying people into the Pit of Death” idea. I can think of a number of sports figures and celebrities, just like Britney in the preview, that could use a kick into a bottomless death pit. Here are my picks:
Philip Rivers – Before I throw him in the pit, I would mention that he made a pretty gutsy performance in the AFC Championship game, only a few days removed from surgery. Then, and only then, would I kick him in the chest and send him into the pit. Getting into it with the fans and Jay Cutler fueled my dislike of Philly. His unbelievably chach-like look and attitude puts him over the top and gets him a one way ticket into the “Pit of Death.”
Jose Canseco – Who am I, besides a humble blogger, to tell a man how to make a living? If people will really buy your books, more power to you. It does seem fairly hypocritical to throw everyone under the bus for steroids just when you realize you can no longer make any money off the game and you are immune from any sort of punishment. For these indiscretions, and for not bringing Ozzie Canseco in as a co-author on either of your books, we are going to have to kick you in the death pit.
Hulk Hogan – Hear me out on this one, because it pains me to put the Hulkster on this list. As I watch him week after week on American Gladiators, in his tight tanktop and supposedly trendy thick strapped watch, I can’t help but think I would enjoy him more on a show on VH1 called “Hulk Hogan is 55 and Single!” Either that, or as the Violent J suggested, he should be starring in a show where he attempts to get Linda back, the only way he knows how. Can you imagine the hijinx and hilarity that would ensue when Hulk caught Linda on a date with another man? “Are you out with the Hulkster’s ex-wife, brother? Do you understand I slammed Andre the Giant, do you know what I can do to you? How does that Leg Drop taste, brother?” Emmys would be given out on the spot.
Jim Brown – I hate to do this to Jim, because he is probably the greatest football player of all-time and he has done a lot of great things for his community…but… Jim just had to weigh on this whole Tiger Woods lynching business, saying that Tiger should have spoken up about the remarks by Kelly Tilghman. Why does Tiger need to speak up Jim? To let everyone know that it isn’t okay to talk about lynching and African-Americans in the same sentence? Thanks for enlightening me on that one, I was actually under the impression that you shouldn’t talk about lynching anyone. Golfweek magazine also deserves a little pit of death action, for putting a noose on the cover of their magazine following Tilghman’s comments. (Look closely at Jim’s sign to take a look at the cover shot of Golfweek that got their editor fired)
Florida State Athletic Advisors – Despite their claim that they have an award winning athletic academic support team, Florida State has decided to replace a few of the key staff members that allowed the cheating scandal that resulted in suspension of 23 players. I am not concerned that players were cheating; rather I am appalled that they allowed themselves to be caught. Haven’t you seen “The Program”? This stuff happens at every good football program in America and only the dumb ones get caught. These people not only deserve to be fired, they deserve to be thrown in the death pit.
Did I miss anyone who deserves the Pit?
The Angry T
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