The Next Batch of Athlete Politicians

It looks as if some of Charles Barkley’s political aspirations have rubbed off on one of his former running mates. Kevin Johnson has decided to run for mayor of Sacramento. Stealing a line from Owen Hart (RIP), Kevin has decided that enough is enough, and it is time for a change. 

Kevin isn’t the first athlete to venture into the world of politics. Steve Largent, Jesse Ventura, Lynn Swann, J.C. Watts, Tom Osborne, Jack Kemp  and Bill Bradley, just to name a few, have made their mark, in one way shape of form, on the world of politics.  But those are the names of the past.  At The Angry T, we look to the future, our business is prognostications.  Let’s take a look at some athletes that should get into politics and exactly where they should run.

Andre Rison – President…of Venezuela – Andre owes around $100,000 in child support to two different women.  In 2006, a Michigan judge ordered that Rison’s pention be garnered to start paying down that debt.  The solution to this problem is for Andre to move to Venezuela, a country that does not extradite United State criminals back to the States for trial. Plus, president isn’t a bad gig, and I guarantee that no one you’re running against has 10,000 career receiving yards.

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Wayne Gretzky – Prime Minister of the Cayman Islands –  Many people are unaware that the Cayman Islands are hot bed of hockey enthusiasm.  This would be a great country for Wayne to set up his political shop because, as all gamblers know, all the big online sports betting sites are based out of the Cayman Islands, and as sports fans know, Wayne likes to place a wager every now and then.  Oh, I am sorry Wayne, that was your wife, you didn’t place any wagers at all.  You know you have found a keeper when you wife is willing to take the fall for you in a federal investigation.

Brett Favre – President of the United States – Let’s say that Brett Favre entered the presidential race tomorrow, Thursday March 5th.  Would you bet against him winning the nomination, regardless of the party for which he chooses to run? I wouldn’t, I can tell you that.  In fact, I think his presidential aspirations are at least half the reason he retired.  Look for that announcement later this week.

Art Modell – Mayor of Cleveland – Sure he moved the team to Baltimore, but a lot of people forget all the good things he did in Cleveland.  Remember  when he fired Paul Brown? How about when they won the 1964 NFL Championship the following season, that Paul Brown firing looked pretty good after that (Even though they didn’t win another league championship for 30 years).  Do you know who remembers that great decision to the teams’ namesake? Old people, and old people are the only people who vote. Modell would win in a landslide.

Shaquille O’ Neal – Mayor of Sacramento – Let’s make this an all athlete race for the mayor’s seat.  Even though Shaq has made it clear that he is not a Sacramento fan, its so hard not to love this guy that he will probably win anyway.

Dennis Rodman – Mayor of Las Vegas – Las Vegas is already considered an adults’ playground.  But can you imagine how wild things would get if Dennis became Mayor.  I imagine Mad Max meets Escape from L.A. meets Pretty Woman but instead of the nice hooker in that movie, these hookers are dirty, money hungry and ridden with medieval diseases like smallpox, the plague and a particularly vicious strain of genital warts.

Kurt Russell will be involved in some way:

Richard Jefferson – Governor of Massachusetts  - I am in no way suggesting that Richard Jefferson is the gay New Jersey Net. What I am suggesting is that Richard Jefferson would be tolerant, just like the State of Massachusetts (the only state to allow gay marriage), because he may have played with a homosexual.  Even if Jefferson was gay, there would be nothing wrong with that, right Kramer?

I flirted with adding David Wesley as a candidate for president of Germany, so he could manage the AutoBahn, but at the last second, I thought it might be too soon.

The Angry T

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