Kelvin Sampson convinces Make a Wish Telethon viewers that dying boys last wish was to allow him to text message Rivals #5 ranked Point Guard out of Nevada

I am sure the Piston’s Promotion team had planned the Pistons Cares Telethon benefiting the Make A Wish Foundation months in advance. However, it still gives me great pleasure that none other then chronic text messenger and finger cramping Kelvin Sampson’s new team, the San Antonio Spurs will be in town while the Telethon is going on. I believe that is what my 10th grade English teacher called Irony. While Sampson is only in an advisory role with his new team, I would not be surprised if he “advised” the telethon volunteers to only take calls from 6’8” high school forwards with a minimum vertical jump of 30 inches.

I was a little surprised to see that David “Destroyer of Negative Press” Stern let this inadvertently comical promotion continue. However, I have come to find out that while this promotion slipped through the cracks, the Commish was able to nix these other controversial promotions.

MARCH 7th
New Orleans Hornets @ New Jersey
Promotion: New Jersey State Police Mandatory Drug Testing Night
Ahhh nothing like a good drug relapse joke to kick off the list

April 4th
Dallas @ LA Lakers
Promotion: Women’s Appreciations and Pepper Spray Night

Allegedly this would have been an ironic situation…..allegedly

April 9th
Charlotte @ New York
Promotion: Ultimo Bra Company free b-cups for everyone if the Knicks score 100 points
Zach Randolph- 40 points, Eddy Curry-40 points, Sean May-20 points on the wrong basket despite recovering from microfracture surgery

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April 8th
Sacramento @ Golden State
Promotion: San Quentin State Prison Shank Night
NBA fans to Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson: This time we finish the job.

Violent J

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