One of the many honors that Ric Flair deserves is the key to every, single American city. New York, Miami, Chicago, Houston, Los Angeles, Hoboken and all the rest of the great American towns need to offer up their large golden keys and let slick Rick run roughshot over their cities with his four thousand dollar suits, long limousines, and jet airplanes. Finally, a city has stepped to the plate, in an attempt to get the ball the rolling in the right direction. Your foresight and vision will not go to waste Columbia, believe me.
Ric has many fantastic traits which make him deserving of a key to the city of Columbia as well as all United States cities and several international ports of call. I thought I should run down five of down five of my five reasons why Ric deserves to be honored by everyone and then e-mail this post to the cities of London and Paris and see if we can’t get Ric a couple more keys.
5. Ric Flair created the Four Horseman – The Horsemen were one of the greatest groups in the history of pro wrestling and Ric Flair ran that group like an well-oiled machine
4. He Repeatedly Punches and Kicks People in the junk for a living – No wonder the Big Show is so pissed these days, his ability to create a child was taken away by Ric’s precision shots to his scrotum.
3. The edge of his hand can be wielded like a knife – In his early days, before he learned to tone the chop down, Flair killed several men in the ring with a direct hit to the solar plexus.
2. He can express deep, complex thoughts and feeling with a single word:
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY:
1. Ric Flair fakes heart attacks – Nothing like a little fake heart attack to shake things up. This is fantastic acting by the way; Mean Gene has no clue that he isn’t actually having a heart attack.
Ric, I’ve done all I can.
(UPDATE: I just found this Ric, HuggingHaroldReynolds is trying to help too)
The Angry T
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