Searching for Bobby Fischer…and the Next Erin Andrews, whatever Happens First

How about that Erin Andrews huh? She is one attractive lady, there are no two ways about it. But you know how these things go, you’re hot one day, and the next day you’re…well in her case she will still be hot, but there will be another Erin Andrews. (although probably by a different name)

What would the next sideline reporter / internet phenomenon be like?  I think Erin knows her stuff when it comes to sports, so the next Erin would have to be knowledgeable.  Erin worked for FSN and Turner Sports covering the Braves and Hawks before she worked for ESPN, so, a little sports experience would be key characteristic for the next Erin.   Erin has also enjoyed her fair share of longevity.  It has been four years since she joined ESPN and she is still relevant and college coaches still clamor to feel her up.  Finally, Erin is very attractive, which in terms of her star power, might be her most important asset.

It looks as if we have put together four characteristics of the next Erin: Knowledge, Experience, Staying Power, and Hotness. Through strenuous research, I have put together a short list of the candidates to eventually unseat Erin, or simply rule the land of hot sideline reporters beside Erin.  We have given each candidate ascore in our four categories so we can determine our winner:

(Just so you know, I am double-weighting hotness when I give these ladies grades.  Let’s be 200 percent honest, a sideline reporter that becomes a national sensation must be very attractive, so if we are looking for the next Erin, we better make sure she is damn attractive. Also, I tried to find people that weren’t already household names.  Shelley Smith has already had her chance to become a sensation, her time has passed.  You too Holly Rowe…and you Doris Burke)

Ines Sainz – TV Azteca – Ines hosts a sports show on TV Azteca call Dx Tipsy. She is also the former Miss Spain. Here she is interviewing Peyton Manning.

Grades:  (Out of 10)

Knowledge:  5 – Even though she was at the Super Bowl this year, she could probably stand to brush up on her knowledge of American sports.

Experience:  7 – She already hosts a sports show and even though it is in Spanish, it counts for something.

Staying Power: 4- The fact that she speaks Spanish, rather than English, could limit her ability to participate in the big telecasts.  However, very long term, when the entire United States speaks English, she could be a force.  Although, by then she will probably be old and unattractive.

Hotness: 9  x 2– That is a fantastic ass. Period.

Total Score:  34

Molly Querim – ESPN.com

Grades:

Knowledge: 10 – Molly hosts several video casts on ESPN on a number of subjects each week.  Her knowledge is unparalleled  among candidates on this list.

Experience: 7 -  According to this article, Molly has been doing ESPN spots since she was in grad school at Quinnipac.

Staying Power: 8 – With her experience, I don’t see why she can’t have the same staying power as Andrews.

Hotness: 8 x 2

Total Score: 41

Jennifer Hedger:  TSN’s SportsCentre – The video below taken when Jennifer was on the Canadian reality shower The Lofters. (Similar to the Real World, but Canadian)

Knowledge:  8 – Jennifer hosts the Canadian version of SportsCenter, so I would guess that she knows her shit.

Experience: 9 – Jennifer has loads of experience making out with chicks, and as the host of a national sports highlight show.

Staying Power:  9 – She has already been employed by TSN for six years, so staying power has not been a problem thus far.  At 32, she is still is in her prime.

Hotness: 8 x 2 – Another very attractive woman, as the same time, she doesn’t give my lower extremities that special tingle like Ines Sainz does.

Total Score: 42

Charity Hodges – Host of SpeedTV’s Nopi Tunervision, the number #1 show on the SpeedTV (If Charity Hodges isn’t a great porn name, I don’t know what is)

Here she is at work:

Knowledge: 5 – I am sure she knows a lot about racing, but I can’t imagine she is a sports aficionado outside of motorsports.

Experience: 6 – This is her third season hosting this racing show, so she must be doing something right.

Staying Power: 7 – It would take me a significant amount of time for me to get tired of seeing her chesticles.

Hotness: 9 x 2– I am not 100 percent sold on her face, but her body is fantastic, presumably because of a couple of cosmetic enhancements.

Total Score: 36

Jenn Sterger –Was in Playboy, FSU and South Florida Jersey Chaser

Grades:

Knowledge: 5 – She has been to enough games in an attempt to get on television that she probably accrued a little bit of sports knowledge.

Experience: 5 – I have to assume, since she was in playboy, that she has a significant amount of “experience.”

Staying Power: 4 – If she stood next to Lynn Swann or Michele Tafoya while they gave their sideline report, I probably wouldn’t get tired of her.  However, I have a feeling that she would get old very quickly if she had to open her mouth.

Hotness: 10 x 2 – It may be plastic, but it’s fantastic.

Total Grade: 34

Shana Hiatt – Was in Playboy, Host of the World Poker Tour, Poker after Dark, and National Heads Up Poker Championship.

Knowledge- 5 – She probably knows a lot about poker, and everyone likes poker, so she gets a 5.

Experience – 7 –She hosted the World Poker Tour for three years so she won’t embarrass herself when she gets in front of the camera

Staying Power –5 –  Pluses – She has been on the Maxim Top 100 and she hosted that show that I didn’t watch for three years.  Minuses – She is no longer hosting that Poker show I didn’t watch, so maybe she is losing her luster.

Hotness – 9 x2

Final Grade: 35

AND THE WINNER IS….

Based on our grades Jennifer Hedger is the winner, but based on her ass, I am going to nominate Ines Sainz as the next Erin Andrews, even though she doesn’t speak English. 

DAMN.

The Angry T

Popularity: 100% [?]