Whether you like it or you don’t like it, learn to love it, because it’s the best thing going, whoooooo. Back again, is Violent J.
I was listening to sports radio the other day in Detroit and sadly they were talking about the Lions again. Caller after caller expressed their disgust with the management, the coaches, and the players. But did these fans just sit there and take it? NO WAY!!!! They began to devise this terrific plan for next week. First, they would put on their $73.99 Roy Williams jersey, $25 fitted Detroit Lions hat along with the couple bucks it will take to make a “hilarious” Fire Millen sign. Then they would take their $70 ticket and attend the game. Here’s where it gets really good. They would boo the players and coaches when bad plays occurred, begin Fire Millen chants throughout the game and finally at the end of the 3rd quarter they would stand up united and walk out of the stadium together, chanting all sorts of clever things. What a terrific plan!!! With food and gas included, you just stuck it to Matt Millen and William Clay Ford by spending over $200 on things related to the Detroit Lions! And this march out of the stadium will be your last until they put a winner on the field right? Oh, you’re going to come back next home game too? But with something even more clever I’m sure, like paper bags over your heads or sporting the opposing teams colors. As you’re doing all of these clever little gimmicks, I can just picture William Clay Ford looking like Scrooge McDuck, swimming in piles and piles of your money. He probably uses $100 bills, your $100 bills, to plug his ears during games so he doesn’t have to listen to you.
Here is a comparable plan; you tell me if it makes any sense. I really don’t think there have been many good movies in theaters recently. So to combat this, I will go and see every single movie that comes out, spend the 9-10 bucks on a ticket and spend another 5 on popcorn and soda. But, get this, at the end of the movie I will boo while the credits roll. In fact, I may even walk out of the movie halfway through it. Does that sound like a good idea? Is that a good way to “stick it to” management. Only a complete idiot, devoid of intelligence or anything else to do on a Sunday except torture themselves, would confuse the actions described above as rational behavior to elicit a change. Either a complete idiot, or a Detroit Lions fan, or Cubs fan, or Pirates fan, or an Arizona Cardinals fan, etc.
“But what else can we do?” These pathetic morons will say to you. Well pathetic morons, listen up, here are 3 things you can do, STARTING TODAY, that will help.
1. STOP GOING TO THE GAMES YOU IDIOTS
Let me start by giving you a list of the 3 Lions games I have attended in my 22 years on this planet:
- Only Lions victory I’ve ever seen in person: 1991 Lions defeat Rams, Mike Utley gets paralyzed.
- Thanksgiving game vs. the Colts in 2004, Colts win 41-9
- Last year against the Panthers: Chris Weinke realizes that he still has a pulse and dices the Lions on a last minute drive capped by a Ricky Proehl touchdown to win 21-20.
Why would I want to go to another Lions game until they put a product on the field worth watching? Where else in our society do people waste hard earned money on a product that they know is broken? The only way to stick it to Ford is to stop purchasing anything that has to do with the Detroit Lions. No tickets, no merchandise, nothing. Ford purchased the Lions for 4.5 million dollars. In 2005, the Lions were worth 747 million dollars. This is all your fault stubborn Lions fan. If you stop going to the games what is the worse thing that can happen? You save more money, you can listen to the game on the radio if you want, hell, spend $25 instead by going to a bar and watching the “blacked out” game on the dish. If you stop going, Ford will make changes, if you keep going, why would he make changes? If you think Ford cares about wins and losses then you haven’t been watching the Lions for the past 42 years.
2. DON’T BUY INTO THE FAIRWEATHER FAN THEORY
Not going to the games will earn you an unwarranted “Fair-weather Fan” label. Well I say that the fair-weather fan brings more positive change then the “loyal” fan ever will. In 2003, the Detroit Tiger
s attendance dropped to 17,103 a game. It was not until fans stopped showing up (listening Lions fans?) that owner Mike Illitch began to actually spend money. Was he embarrassed about the losses? Maybe, but I think it had a lot more to do with losing money then it did with losing games. Last season the AL champion Detroit Tigers averaged 32,048 fans. That’s nearly 15,000 people who said they wouldn’t show up until the Tigers won. In less than 3 years, management had fixed the problem. Look at the NBA attendance, teams like Miami and Cleveland have made drastic improvements to their teams, and as a result, people show up. It takes people jumping ship to make any organizational change. As long as Mr. Ford fills the stadium he has no incentive to change anything. He makes as much money as possible because the stadium is completely full, collects his NFL revenue sharing checks and continues to hire incompetent management, who in turn put incompetent players on the field. Jumping ship loses the ownership money and in the end that’s what all of this comes down to, cold hard cash.
3. DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR SUNDAYS
Get the NFL package, join a flag football league, work out, do your homework, call your friends and family, read a book, get drunk, play checkers, get drunk and then play checkers, while reading a book. Whatever you want to do besides watch the Lions, do it. There are numerous things you can do to pass the time that will save you money and wasted time. 
Whatever you do, just stop watching.
Sports loyalty is something I have trouble understanding, especially at the professional level. Who are we loyal to? The ownership? The players that trade teams every 2 years? Overpaid punks who don’t care about the fans (see any story about the Cincinnati Bengals that the Angry T has written and you’ll understand better)? As a professional sports fan, loyalty comes second to product.
Why do you even like the team in the first place, because you are from city in which the team resides? Why should you be subjected to that type of torture just because of your place of birth? You don’t deserve it my friend; you are good enough, smart enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. If you feel bad about disowning your team, take solace in the fact that ownership disowned you by hiring Matt Millen, or Billy King, or Isiah Thomas, depending on what awful team to which you have loyalty. If you want change, don’t buy the product, it’s that simple.
Violent J
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