Who is in a Contract Year?

p>I am not in a contract year.  Recently, The Angry T signed me to a 5 year contract worth reportedly 10 Indiana Jones Double Whoppers (I lost the onion rings in arbitration).  So for the next 4 years you can expect the same garbage and drivel that has become my calling card.  However, in that fifth year, that glorious contract year, I will turn into the greatest blogger of all-time.  My articles will move you to tears one minute and have you rolling on the floor the next.  I will have the insight of Peter Gammons, the writing ability of Rick Reilly and the alcoholic wild predictions of Woody Paige all rolled into one.  The Angry T will have no choice but to give me a bigger contract next time (did someone say 15 Indiana Jones Double Whoppers?).

The sporting world is the same way of course.  Baseball players who don’t do anything for years of their contract suddenly have breakout years when they’re about to be free agents.  This has led to some ridiculous contracts being given out the past few years to marginal players.  We are now about a third of the way through the season, so let’s look at who’s on track to pull down the major contracts and who has 100 games left to turn it around before they start hearing “minor league contract” after their name.

Catchers
The Bad
Kenji Johjima- Seattle Mariners
Stats: .221  2 HR  14 RBI
Kenji is having a  kyounen  keiyakusho (Damn I am cultured)

The Good
Jason Varitek- Boston Red Sox
.268 6 HR  21 RBI
I can’t even imagine the Red Sox not keeping Varitek for the rest of his career

First Base
The Bad
Richie Sexson- Seattle Mariners
.200 9 HR  21 RBI

Full me once shame on you …

The Good
Kevin Millar- Baltimore Orioles
.244 10 HR 30 RBI
On pace to have his best power numbers since 2003

Second Base
The Bad
Juan Uribe- Chicago White Sox
.198 3 HR 15 RBI

There should be a rule that no MLB player can have a trademark homerun swing when they are hitting under .200…we’ll call it the Rob Deer Rule

The Good
Orlando Hudson- Arizona Diamondbacks
.302 6 HR 30 RBI 28 runs
Maybe one of the best players that the average baseball fan doesn’t know a lot about.

Third Base
The Bad
Nomar Garciaparra- LA Dodgers
.226 1 HR 5 RBI 60 day DL

HGH Cheklist:
1.  Have you ever had your hamstring rip off the bone while running short distances?
2.  Have you ever been on the cover of SI looking like you’ve been working out with the Incredible Hulk?
3.  Have you ever been placed on the 60-Day DL during a contract year?

The Good
Joe Crede- Chicago White Sox
.271 10 HR  31 RBI
Take some notes Nomar, you sit out the year BEFORE  your contract year with an injury THEN you hit 30 HR and drive in 100 RBI

Shortstop
The Bad
Orlando Cabrera- Chicago White Sox
.242 3 HR 17 RBI
Don’t expect to make 10 million next year buddy

The Good
Rafael Furcal- Los Angeles Angels
.366 5 HR 16 RBI
Where does this guy rank in terms of Shortstops?  How many are clearly better then Furcal?  Discuss amongst yourself

Outfielders
The Bad
Jacque Jones- Florida Marlins, Detroit Tigers
.146 1 HR  6 RBI
Recent text message from my buddy in Miami “Hey, question for you.  10 games in and I am already hating Jacque Jones.  That is normal right?”

Craig “Moonshot” Monroe- Minnesota Twins
.238 5 HR 19 RBI
You don’t know how painful it was putting my favorite player on this list.

Wily Mo Pena- Washington Nationals
.207 1 HR 8 RBI

You don’t know how painful it will be for me if Wily Mo Pena reads this list.

The Good
Manny Ramirez- Boston Red Sox
.296 12 HR 40 RBI

The Man is selling his grill on EBAY for cash… Did you not expect a big contract year?

Adam Dunn – Cincinnati Reds
.249 15 HR 39 RBI
Hits for power but with terrible On-Base % and his team never wins…Welcome to Seattle Mr. Dunn!!!

Pat Burrell
.283 14 HR  40 RBI

I have a great, possibly true story about Pat Burrell and anal sex…but that is for another time.

Starting Pitcher
The Bad
C.C. Sabathia
3-7 4.72 ERA
You know that Sabathia looked at his contract after last season and said “oh shit, this isn’t my contract year.”

Mark Prior
Out for season

Prior has only  made 11.8 Million for his career.  Kerry Wood made 12 million in 2006.  The lesson as always, don’t blow out your arm until you’ve had that big contract year.

The Good
Ben Sheets 6-1 2.71 ERA
Contract year and Mr. Sheets is all of a sudden Iron Man

Ryan Dempster
7-2 2.75 ERA
His 7 million a year will double if he keeps this up all year

Relief Pitcher
The Bad
Jason Isringhausen
1-5 8.00 ERA 11 Saves
Bill Pulsipher and Paul Wilson will be kicked out of Izzy’s basement very soon

The Good
Francisco Rodriguez 2.00 24 saves
Joe Nathan 1.40 16 saves
Brad Lidge  0.72 15 saves
I can’t imagine the Angels, Twins or Phillies letting go of these guys

Didn’t like this article?  Tough, it’s not a contract year for me. 

-Violent J

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