NBA free agency is upon us and even though this isn’t the best class of all-time, we can still have some fun taking a look at who si available. NBA GMs take note, we have compared each of ESPN’s top 10 NBA free agents to beautiful works of musical art on the Billboard Top 100 to accentuate their greatest qualities:
Wow, in the middle of writing this article, ESPN changed their best available free agents to represent an up to date list. For instance, Kurt Thomas moved up to #5, which tells you all you need to know about this free agent class. In any event, for ease of me finishing this post, I am moving the combined team of Shaun Livingston / Kwame Brown to #5 and then move unto the the Top 4 on this list, which is still intact.
10. Ricky Davis – 7 Things – Miley Cyrus – Off the top of my head, Ricky Davis, shoots too much, turns the ball over too much, doesn’t look for his teammates enough, is a bad teammate, has never been a winner, once recorded a fake triple double, was only playing 25 minutes on the worst roster in NBA history (the 2nd half 2008 Miami Heat). 7 things, all bad.
9. Michael Pietrus – 4 minutes – Justin Timberlake feat. Madonna - 4 Minutes: The amount of time, in minutes, that Michael Pietrus’ talent dictates that he should play in each NBA game.
8. James Posey – If I Never See Your Face Again – Maroon 5 feat. Rihanna – You’ve got your championship, now go away.
7. Kurt Thomas – Bye Bye – Mariah Carey – Retire immeadiatly.
6. Beno Udrih – Pocket Full of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield - Beno has a pocket full of sunshine after signing a 33.5 million dollar contract and assumed the starting point guard duties in Sacramento.
5. Shaun Livingston / Kwame Brown – Kate Perry – I Kissed a Girl - Their long cornrows make both of them look like chicks, at least the ones I hook up with, so this song fits.
4. Desagna Diop – Colby O’ Donis feat. Akon – What You Got? – 5 Points, 5 boards, .8 blocks.
3. Corey Magette – Jesse McCartney- Leavin’ - Welcome to town Baron, don’t let the door hit you on the way out Corey Magette.
2. Gilbert Arenas – When I Grow Up – Pussycat Dolls - Can Gilbert grow up and lead whatever team he decided to sign with deep into the playoffs. In case you were wondering, the answer is no.
1. Elton Brand – Danity Kane – Damaged – You always need a first aid kit handy when this guy is around. Can his fragile ligaments hold up long enough to make a playoff run with his new buddy Baron?
The Angry T
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