The MLB Anti-All-Star Team

As the all-star break approaches, a lot of baseball’s top minds are handing out mid-season awards and telling baseball fans who should have made the All-Star team if we didn’t get to use our grubby, unwashed fingers to drunkenly punch little holes in the All-Star ballots. That is not our style at the Angry T, we would much rather tear someone down than give someone a compliment or suggest that they should be honored. It makes us feel better and it should make you feel like a more worthwhile human being.

So, let’s take a look, position by position, on who deserves a spot on the Anti-All-Star Team and who gets our vote for the LVP (Least Valuable Player) and the Mike Maroth Award (the oppposite of the Cy Young)

SP: Barry Zito – His fantastic looks can only take him so far.

SP: Miguel Batista – While I almost always blame Jim Riggleman in this situations, I think Miguel and Richie Sexson deserve just a little bit "credit" for the Mariners’ futility

SP: Brett Myers – Maybe that trip to the bullpen should be permanent

RP: Jason Isringhausen – Jason’s seven blown saves narrowly edge out Eric Gagne’s 6 + ERA and 5 blown saves.

C: Jason Varitek – This guy is an All-Star? Maybe they should take the voting power out of our grubby little hands.

1B: Richie Sexson – 6′8", 240 pounds of god-awful

2B: Rickie Weekes – How long do they let the former Golden Spikes winner hit .200 before they pull the plug.

SS: Troy Tulowitzki – This was an agonizing decision because Omar Ziquel has been equally horrific this year. In the end, I chose Troy because I have to imagine that more was expected out of the 23 year old Troy than the 54 year old Omar. Plus, look at that OBP, it’s damn near .250, very impressive.

3B: Bill Hall – Sorry to pick on the Brewers, but this guy will probably finish the season with a .235 average and 150 strikeouts. Unless he hits about 30 bombs, this will be another disappointing season for Mr. Hall

OF: Andruw Jones – Not bad for 14.7 million a year.

OF: Eric Brynes – When the Diamonbacks signed him to a three years, $30 million extension in the off-season, I think they expected a bit more.

OF: Jeff Francoeur – Jeff’s numbers haven’t been as bad as some of the players above, but the Braves moved him down to AAA nonetheless. For Jeff’s sake, I hope his promotion back to the majors sparks a turnaround

LVP – The Contenders:

Andruw Jones – OF – LA Dodgers

Troy Tulowitzki – SS – Colorado Rockies

Richie Sexson – 1B – Seattle Mariners

AND THE WINNER IS….

Andruw Jones!!!!!!

Mike Maroth Award:

No need for a drumroll, let’s give it to the $126 million dollar man Barry Zito who was been about as impressive as an 84 mph fastball, which he features prominenntly.

Congrats to all the winners, you should be very proud of your terrible baseball playing selves.

The Angry T

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