I was under the impression that steroids actually make you a stronger, faster, better athlete. Apparently that impression is false. Either that, or even when the Detroit Lions take steroids they do it incorrectly. The NFL suspended Lions All-Pro defensive tackle Shaun Rogers for four games for violating the substance abuse policy. In a Floyd Landis-esque attempt to justify his actions, Rogers claimed to have inadvertently taken a banned substance while using an appetite suppressant. Taking it a step further, Rogers claimed that he tried to curb his appetite because he suffers from sleep apnea and while he is up late at night he tends to eat a lot. I love the excuses! It is probably the most effort a Lion has put into anything in years. I apologize for always talking about this terrible, terrible football team, but they are just so funny. Everything that they do turns into a debacle. Whenever the Lions bring in a highly touted coach or player, the guy has his spirit broken by this franchise and is forced to walk away from football and try to put the pieces of his life back together.
In a related story of crime and punishment, Chicago White Sox short stop Juan Uribe (in Ugueth Urbina fashion) was indicted in the shooting of two men in the Dominican Republic. Surprisingly enough, Uribe denied any involvement in the shooting. Uribe claims to have been talking to his father at the time of the shooting. I predict that in a public statement he will reveal that he and his father were teaching blind school-children how to read Braille while hammering out peace treaties for the Middle East and Darfur simultaneously.
Uribe’s story brings me to the point of this rambling piece that has probably sickened you up to this point. How many people work where you work? Now that you have that number in your head, think of how many of those people have been arrested recently? In one month of writing these rants I have written at least four pieces on arrests in professional sports. The number of athletes that get arrested in a week is mind-boggling. The disparity in arrest rates in pro-sports vs. the real world must be unbelievable. The facts point to leagues full of convicts. Maybe Chris Henry is not such a bad a guy, he is just trying to fit in with the older criminal/players. I mean I feel bad for the kid. I guess I understand why so many athletes carry guns; they are just protecting themselves against other athletes. Chris Henry is not above stealing a teammate’s wallet at gunpoint.
The NHL and its many Canadian players tend to stay out of the news because crime has not yet been invented in Canada. But wait, with the infusion of surly Europeans, the crime rate is bound to go up. The NBA is already experiencing the crime problem due to Europeans. Darko Milicic, Nikoloz Tskitishvili, and Bosjtan Nachbar have already stolen millions from NBA teams. They operate like those Nigerian money transfer e-mails that I am always getting. Lots of promises, no results. What a bunch of criminals. Somehow, against my better judgment, I will continue to watch.
The Angry T
Popularity: 1% [?]
sleep apnea
Why do you think things have always to go that way?