Ten Reasons LeBron James Should Go To Greece

By now, most NBA fans have heard that the Greek team Olympiakos is considering making a run at Lebon James. I applaud these wonderful Europeans and their attempts at stealing our NBA talent. Olympiakos has already poached Josh Childress and now they are setting their sights on Bron Bron. You can blame the federal reserve and their monetary policy for losing Josh and we may have to blame them once again for losing Lebron. Some may say, “Why the hell would he go to Greece. He already lives in Cleveland, what more could he possibly want.” Well, I have decided to address that powerful statement, with 10 reasons why Lebron should head to Plato’s backyard to play a little ball.

10. In the off-season, Lebron could become a Greek Shipping Magnate and organize huge stripper boat sex parties with first mate Fred Smoot.

9. He will never again have to hear the words, “LeBron, can you help me apply my ‘cold sore’ medication.”

8. He will never again have to hear the words, “Lebron, can you help Z lather his back. There you go, really work that loffa in there.”

7. LeBron could drop nobody’s like Paul Wall and lay down tracks with the greatest Greek Rappers:

My choice would be Ipoxthonious:

6. His mother would have to fly approximately 5,237 miles to embarrass him after a hard foul.

5. LeBron could make millions on weird European advertisements.

4. LeBron could take advantage of Europe’s huge advantage in the attractiveness of athlete’s wives and girlfriends:

USA – Football QB Kurt Warner

Europe – Soccer player – Ashley Cole

3. He will never have to worry about showering after a game, as my “Big Book of Stereotypes,” tells me that
all Europeans are filthy. Isn’t that right Luis? And Fabricio? And Mehmet? (If you consider Turkey a part of Europe)

2. LeBron could make several billion dollars by starring in, “My Big Fat Greek Paycheck,” where he steals the chick from the first one from her husband, only to realize that she is hideous.

1. Since LeBron already thinks of himself as deity, he can recreate and update Greek mythology to include himself as Zues and the beautiful Josh Childress (and because of the Afro) as Aphrodite.

You’re welcome LeBron.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]