Idiot Parents Once Again Try to Ruin A 9-Year Olds Time

I can’t wait until my kid is good enough at sports that other parents ban him from leagues with their less athletic children.

I wish I could line up all the “concerned parents” and punch them in the stomach simultaneously. I hope this goes to the supreme court and this kid wins some sort of groundbreaking court decision that effectively eliminates all parents from little league sports. Sure, the mild mannered, reasonable parents will be punished as well, but at this point, there are so many idiots out there that we can’t take a chance that one will slip through the cracks.

I can’t tell you how much I enjoy when little kids do something amazing in an athletic competition. While most of the kids eat grass and chase butterflies, these little athletic-savants hit dingers, pitch no hitters, truck linebackers, throw touchdowns and high step into the endzone. Let’s take a moment to honor the best of the best in little kid athletics:

5. In the 71′ Little League World Series, Lloyd McLendon hit five home runs in five official at-bats and was intentionally walked every other time he came to the plate. Unfortunately, he couldn’t get the “Greatest Offense Ever Assembled,” the 2006 Detroit Tigers, to win more than 79 games.

4. About a year ago, eight year old Cody Paul burst onto the youtube scene with a highlight video that made Adrian Peterson look like Stacy Peterson (way too soon). Those who haven’t seen this kid need to watch the video below. I added a few of the copy cat videos that have been posted on youtube since Cody’s was posted.

“The Diesel”

Watch five year old Harrison Bailey

The Hoover Bucs

3. Most of you who watched the Olympics this year saw the nine year old Chinese gymnasts that won the gold medal in the team gymnastics competition. Just imagine how good they’ll be when they are old enough to get a learner’s permit. Congrats to Mao.

2. I remember watching this video and yelling at my parents for not locking me in the garage until I made 18 shots in a row at age three. I bet he’ll be happy they did lock him in the garage when he turns seven and realizes he has a shoe deal, assuming his parents don’t use all the Reebok money and pretend the deal never happened.

There are ton of clips on youtube with other tiny people making threes, but I think this little guy is the best. Mark Walker better watch out and then learn how to poop in a regular size toilet.

1. The best child athlete of all-time is a no-brainer if you put some thought into it. The best child athlete is also involved in maybe the best commercial of all-time.

This clip is pretty fantastic as well. It’s like having video of a two year old Willie Mays playing baseball or a 3 year old Barry Sanders playing football or a three year old Kobe Bryant sexually assaulting a pre-school classmate on the jungle gym after nap time.

Maybe the second best:

The Angry T

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