It’s over, enough already. I understand how important this thing is to people, but enough is enough. ESPN continues to post story after story when, at last check, the story was about as interesting as the details of my latest colonoscopy. If you haven’t figured it out yet, I am talking about that goddamn horse Barbaro. Did you know that Barbaro had surgery on its left hind leg on Saturday? I know I was waiting on the edge of my seat, but only because I am hoping to pick up a scale model of Barbaro from a hobby shop and use model glue made out of Barbaro to construct it.
I am not sure that there was as much attention paid to the tsunami in South East Asia as has been paid to this horse. You know, the one that killed thousands of people. I can’t tell you very much about the clean-up effort or anything like that, but I can tell you that Barbaro’s left hind leg is in bad shape and this latest surgery is not good for everyone’s favorite horse. However, I am not sure that the last statement is a bigger indictment of me or the news media. I like to believe the latter. Has anyone realized this isn’t a person yet? They make baseballs out of these things, don’t forget that. I actually own a baseball that is signed by and made out of Seabiscuit.
I am also disgusted that the media call this a “comeback story” and comment on the horses “heart.” It is a wild goddamn animal, of course it clings to life. I fail to see the “heart” in a team of well-paid professionals trying to save a horse. If this were real life, which I contend it is not, this horse would have been eaten by foxes or wolves, or some other wild animal. And for me that would have been justice for this damn horse, just because I vomit each time I see another Barbaro story on ESPN.
Thousands of people die each day and would kill, maim or sodomize for this type of medical care. If I were president (I am getting closer every day), the owners of Barbaro would be stripped of all of their assets, and forced to work at a hospital for humans in the Sudan. I am hoping they all commit ritualistic suicide for prolonging the life of a horse. Here is the sad part: the only reason Barbaro is still alive is that they want to breed the horse. A Kentucky Derby winner is worth millions to breeders. I hope I get treated this way when I am ready to go that big glue factory in the sky.
Now honestly, although I am disgusted by these stories, I hope that Barbaro recovers fully. The Shock could really use a 3 who can put the ball on the floor. How’s that for originality?
