If you’re reading this site you likely have several billion dollars laying around.  Through my own research, I’ve found out that most of the people that read this site:

A. Own their own Ponzi scheme and have bilked all of West Palm Beach out of hundreds of millions of dollars

B.  Have made their fortune running interstate Donkey Show rings, which, as you might expect, are slightly more entertaining than the concept sounds

C. Give people sleeper holds and then stick $100 bills down the mouth’s of their unlucky victims

I’m not sure exactly sure where you fall in those three categories, I just know you do.  That means you have money burning a hole in your pockets.  Well, we all know that no one can squander a fortune quite like an athlete.  The latest athlete to be bilked out of their fortune or (give it away to young ladies working their way through college and massage school) is Sergei Federov:

At least the former almost Mr. Kournikova got his money back, which is more than we can say for some of the other guys on this list

Evander Holyfield - The Real Deal managed to lose an absurd amount of money.  He also managed to buy a house in suburban Atlanta that covered 54,000 square feet.  Apparently he used to invite 4,000 kids over to his house for Fourth of July fireworks.  Nice touch, although I think he rather have the money back for all those Roman candles.

Now after reading that awful story, you would assume that Riddick Bowe came out of that rivalry with the upper hand in and out of the ring.  Of course, you’re be wrong:

Cecil Fielder - My favorite childhood baseball player is probably the reason I enjoy gambling so much. I’m still trying to fit in with my hero. I guess I’m thankful he chose gambling over of heroin.  I would have followed Cecil into the gutter with a used syringe and the stench of garbage and Cecil’s used jock strap from a mid-august homestand in LA on my person.

Scottie Pippen - This one is almost as hard to explain as Holyfield’s bankruptcy.  Pip made $120 million (in salary alone) in his 18 seasons and seems to have managed to squander all of it.  While he may not be broke, he’s refusing to may $5 million he owes US Bank and he admitted to be bilked for $27 million by his agent.

His face is fairly equine-esque, and  he’s a pretty great athlete, so if he’s looking to change careers, thoroughbred racing might be an option.  All he really has to do is snap a tibula or two and America would fall in love with him again, ala Barbaro.  Then all Pip has to do is let the donations roll in.  I think Barbaro is second only to the Sultan of Brunei in net worth after millions of idiots sent donation money to help have that beautiful beast.  In the mean time, they couldn’t wait to ignore that homeless people that they have to walk past on the way to work.  If only those bums could run faster, they might be able to eat today.

Charles Barkley - Sir Charles admitted to losing 50-60 million dollars at the tables.  At the same time, he spews these hilarious lines on TNT and Haney Project for viewers not to worry about his gambling, because “I’m still rich baby.”  I’m certain that that line isn’t foreshadowing for a future financial disaster of epic proportions for Sir Charles.

Mike Tyson - I can’t even talk about the hundreds of millions of dollars this guy lost without puking, and this company is out of warranty.  Look at this human apocalypse on your own time.

and finally…

Lenny Dykstra – Now, I can’t say that I’m happy that anyone on this list went bankrupt, but if I did crack a smile about any of these guys losing it all, it was Nails.  Ironically, while Dykstra was charging clients thousands of dollars for his services as a financial guru, he was losing money hand over fist while get sued by over 20 of the same people that relied on him for help.  According to his Chapter 11 filing, Dykstra lost $50 million dollars in 2008.

It sounds to me like the fraud pot is calling the fraud kettle black when Lenny accuses the bank of wrong-doing.  No more than 2 years ago, Lenny was hailed as a stock picking genius…

My how things can change in a year…or two or three, just ask any of the men on this list.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

I will take any and every opportunity to show you pictures of Anna Kournikova. Thanks to Hollywood Tuna, I can tell you she was involved in the Natic South Beach Triathlon. Is she the hottest triathlete in the world? Until I have evidence to the contrary, I have to say yes. Here is the photographic evidence of that point:

Anyone else notice the lower back tat on Anna? I believe they call that a tramp stamp in the business.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

I want to make a promise to anyone who reads this website: If any new pictures of Anna Kournikova are released anywhere on the internet, I will find them, and I will post them.  She remains on the minds and in the hearts of sports fans despite not having played in several years and not having played well when she was playing. 

These pictures, courtesy of HollywoodTuna, which is a fantastic website by the way, are from a very recent party for Cartier watches.  I add that they are recent just so you have up to the minute info on whether she is still hot. (Hint: She is)

Because Anna needs to be honored in some way, I thought I would associate her with a few other female athletes who are relevant in sports only because they are hot, rather than for their actual athletic ability. Here is my Top 5:

5. Anna Rawson – I found Anna on quite a few hottest female athletes lists, although I had never heard of her, probably because she is a below average women’s golfer.  Here is a quote from the pot, alerting the kettle to the fact that it is black:

“It’s nice to be seen as a sex symbol like the way she’s seen, but I’d like to have a longer career than Anna (Kournikova).”

4. Natalie Gulbis – Natalie Gulbis is another FHM girl who has accomplished very little professionally. Gulbis finally broke through at the Evian Masters in 2007 for her first victory, but success at the majors continues to elude her.

3. Daniela Hantuchova – As much as it pains me to do this, I have to put Daniela on this list.  In seven years, she has three career titles and nothing better than a semi-final showing at this years’ Australian Open to her credit.

2. Michelle Wie – Wie has been a colossal disappointment as a professional, whether she is attempting to play against men, or getting her ass kicked by women.  Despite her on the course shortcomings, she still manages to show up on most attractive list. (I don’t really get it either)

1.  Danica Patrick – In 47 career starts, Danica has yet to win a race, yet she is probably Indy Racing’s most recognizable name.  Despite the losing streak Danica has appeared in FHM and she even made her way into this years’ Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]