Aside from being brothers-in-law, Craig Robinson and Barack Obama share the challenge of taking over a “program” in relatively dire straits.  While Barack attempts to leads us out a steep recession, Craig Robinson, coach of the Oregon basketball team, attempts to make a contender out of a beaver team that lost every one of their 18 conference games last year. Robinson may actually have accepted the tougher job in this situation as the team lost their last 21 games last year, a streak during which coach Jay John was fired, to finish 6-24.

Craig Robinson, brother of Michelle Obama and brother-in-law to the newly inaugurated president, came to the rescue, but despite friends in high places, Robinson hasn’t exactly turned this squad into a tournament team:

If it wasn’t already abundantly clear, if you step on the floor with the Howard Bison, you better bring a lunch, because it’s going to be a long day. Oregon State is 1-1 against the pesky Bison this year.  (I have no clue how they got to play Howard twice in one season) The team’s lone impressive win was against USC, who will likely find their way into NCAA tournament.  They have been beaten soundly by most of the other reasonably good teams on their schedule and things are likely to get worse at Oregon State before they get better.

I’m sure the president has better things to do, but if Robinson could call in a favor and get Obama on few recruiting visits, he could turn this team around pretty quickly.  I find it hard to believe that many recruits would be able to resist the pleas of their own commander-in-chief to attend Oregon State.

Robinson actually has a pretty amazing story.  After playing for Pete Carill at Princeton, two years in Europe, and a short coaching stint at the Indiana Institute of Technology, Robinson gave up on basketball, at the request of his legendary coach.  He earned an MBA at the University of Chicago in 1992 and for the next 10 years, Robinson was a successful bond trader, eventually becoming the managing director of a Chicago investment bank.

In 2000, he gave it all up to become an assistant with the Northwestern basketball team and has worked his way into the head coaching position at Oregon State after a two year stint at Brown.

All the experience and success aside, even if Robinson falls flat on his face, I’m not sure Oregon State athletic director Bob De Carolis will be a position to fire his new coach.  When you have the president on your side, the man capable of vetoing monetary appropriations to anyone, even a college for instance, you aren’t a man that a lot of people mess with.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Commander of the free world my ass, just look at the golf swing of the man pegged with ensuring the safety of the United States for the next four years:

Free golf balls at the range? At what kind of white collar, bourgeois golf course is our supposed “middle-class”  president teeing up?

Outside of the hoity-toity links at which Barack has chosen to play, there is the issue of his swing. I appreciate that he stretched before beginning to practice (a streched nation is a prepared nation) but could we cut down on the lower body movement Barack.  Are we trying to do the soulja boi or hit a golf ball out here? You get the club all the way into the slot on your backswing and then have a seizure on the downswing.  How do you expect to compete with world leader like Kim Jong-Il on the golf course with a swing like that? This guy shot 38 under in the first round of golf of his career! If he is that good, he can have all the nukes we wants.

Potential international incidents aside, I have another question for Mr. President elect.  The shots below, as well as the video above, were taken during Barack’s Christmas visit to Hawaii.

Is he wearing the same cargo khaki golf shorts in both pictures? Are you telling me Barack Obama, the next president of the United States, can’t afford more than one pair of khaki golf shorts? Take a trip to Old Navy pal, those exact same shorts are 2/$25 until January 9th. Again I refer to Mr. Jong-Il to make a point:

How can Barack even step on the same course with a guy that not only out plays him, but also outdresses him?

Of course, I kid Barack, but at the same time, step it up on the course, future leader of the free world.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Any red blooded American wrestling fan who watched the debate last night was thinking one thing and one thing only, “My god Barack Obama sounds like ‘The Rock.’” After McCain made a quip about Barack not voting on a spending bill, I have expected Barack to respond with, “You know what you do with that spending bill John? You can take the bill, roll it up real tight.  Put a little hot wax stamp on it, turn that sum’ bitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy ass.”

I know this isn’t a groundbreaking new idea, many people have suggested that Barack sounds like the people’s champ.  However, I don’t think that people have considered what might happen if Barack takes his “Rock-ness,” to the White House.  I have to imagine that we would scoff at appointing career politicians to his cabinet.  Instead, he would bring his squared circle cronies to the White House with him.  Let’s take a look at who he might appoint.

(Sorry Mick, you missed the list, no one trusts you in Washington)

(Also, William Regal missed the list despite his experience as a Lord.  I can’t, in good conscience, help to put a steroid user in the White House)

Secretary of Defense – Sergeant Slaughter - Who better to defend our shores than a man with experience in the military?  If I remember correctly, he also has a significant amount of experience dealing with Iranian leaders, which is a vital skill as we mitigate our issues in the Middle East.

Secretary of the Treasury – Ted “The Million Dollar Man” Dibiase – He is uber rich, he knows how to deal with money and  he isn’t afraid to shove a few hundred dollars down someone’s throat if necessary.

Secretary of State – Hacksaw Jim Duggan – This man loves America and he would be the perfect ambassador to our foreign neighbors.

Secretary of the Interior – Val Venis – No one knows the “interior” quite like Val Venis.  He has shown a knack of getting in and out of the interior in a variety of situations.

Secretaries of Agriculture – The Bushwhackers - They come from the outback, which is assume is the “bread basket” of Australia.  They also lick each others foreheads, which I believe is one of the requisites of this job.

Secretary of Health and Human Services – Dr. Isaac Yankem – This is the man to turn around Medicare and Medicaid.

Secretary of Transportation – The Godfather – His many years of work with the “Hooooooooooooeeeeee Train,” earns him this cabinet appointment.

Secretary of Commerce – Cryme Tyme - These men, more than anyone else, know the value of a dollar.  Or at least it would see that way, because they only time you ever saw them on TV was when they were stealing people’s car or laptops or television.

Secretary of Labor – Vincent Kennedy McMahon – He has hired and fired hundreds of superstars over the years, he could get this country’s labor market back on track.

Secretaries of Energy – The Spirit Squad – There have been few WWE Superstars that were more energetic than the Spirit Squad.

Secretaries of Veteran Affairs – Pat Patterson and Gerald Briscoe – McMahon’s henchman were probably veterans themselves, so let them manage veteran affairs.

(This is first class ass-whooping courtesy of Briscoe and Patterson at the expense of the Mean Street Posse)

Secretary of Housing and Urban Development -Demolition – If they can destroy a house, I have to believe they can build one.

(how awesome was this game?)

Secretary of Education – Bobby “The Brain” Heenan - “The Brain” has a lot to teach the youth of America.

Secretary of Homeland Secuity – Stone Cold Steve Austion – He doesn’t have any specific skill set that would qualify him for this position, but he needs to be in the cabinet, if for nothing else than to pull off the two stunts below on Capitol Hill.

If you think that Barack Obama throwing Stone Cold into the Potomac river wouldn’t get people interested in politics again, you are crazy?

Did I miss any other people that deserve a congressional appointment?

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]