As most of us with a television and even a mild interest in sporting contests know, Cincinnati’s Brian Kelly has a great chance at becoming the next ND head coach.

He’s won everywhere he’s decided to hang his coaching hat to the tune of a 171-57-2 record thus far.  If you remove his time at Grand Valley State and compile his DI record (or FBS or RBK or HHH or HBK or whatever those clowns are calling DI these days), Kelly comes in at an impressive 53-22, with 34 of those wins and only 6 of those loses coming at Cincinnati.

Rightfully so, Notre Dame fans are excited.  How could you not get excited about a winner from a reputable conference like the Big East, who’s been to two BCS bowls including the upcoming Sugar Bowl,  and runs an inventive form of the spread?  Just ask Michigan fans, there is no way this hire can go wrong.

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It’s never too early to start talking Pittsburgh / WVU’s annual Backyard Brawl.  It’s also never too early to talk about Noel Devine and all his children. Of course, the best way to talk about said children is in shirt form.  Show your support for the man with the strongest seed in the Big East.  He could fart on a girl and nine months later be the proud father of a set of triplets.

So grab your Pitt gear while they steamroll Cincy and WVU on their way to a Big East Championship for the Stache’.

Buy it here. Or here. And ladies, you can buy it here.

Nothing like good old fashioned pre-martital baby making to get a rivalry going.

The Angry T

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Kickers have long been known as the little orphan Annie’s of the football world.  Most of them are tiny, don tiny kicking shoes and generally pussify the sport of football.  All too often, their attempts at tackles make manly men like myself chuckle with a glee that can only come from not knowing that those tiny kicking men on the screen are actually much bigger and stronger than I’ll probably ever be. 

But every now and then, in between getting crack back blocked into another stadium, kickers knuckle up and put a hit on someone.  In honor of the start of football and the least popular position in all of football, we present the Top 10 Kicker/Punter beatdowns.  For once, the kickers are delivering the punishment rather than recieving it.

10. Sam Paulescu on a Tampa Bay Punt Returner – How are his teammates not more excited?

9. High schooler Colton Reynolds does not take his job lightly.

8. A Punter making a big hit and causing a fumble?

7. BYU punter takes care of business twice
(2:40 mark)

6. Colorado kicker Jameson Davis goes low and injures a returner.

5. Even at the Pop Warner level kickers are starting to fight back.

4. Brian Moorman shows that kickers can run over people too…or not.

3. This guy makes up for Brian Moorman.

2. Craig Jarrett goes on a rampage.

1. Daniel Sepulveda lays the lumber.

Watch what you say about these kickers because they’re people just like you and me.  They put their kicking pants on one leg at a time just like you and me…except when their pants are on, they just start beating ass.

The Angry T

Popularity: 1% [?]

Someone needs to tell Wes Welker to watch the hell out:

Whenever these huge hits take place on television, I always imagine the families of people like Wes Welker watching the 31 instant replays of their loved one get hit ridiculously hard…and laugh.

There have been some unbelievably hard hits this year in both college and NFL football.  It seems that all those steroid masking agents have finally allowed our favorite gridiron gladiators to juice with impunity.  (With all the steroids flying around, pretty soon these guys will start needing these prenatal vitamins.) Either that, or a 6′5″ 265 pound human body is supposed to run a 4.5 second 40.  I’ll let you decide.

With that off my chest, let’s look at the 15 most bone crunching hits in the NFL and college this season:

15. Ike Hilliard Knocked out Against the Seahawks:

14. Anquan Boldin and his Broken Face:

13. Cedric Griffin on Billy Miller

2. Adrian Wilson’s helmet meets Trent Edwards Face

11. Jo-Lonn Dunbar on a Reggie Bush Punt Return:

10. Go Low Al Harris!!

9. Air Bradford (Not the biggest hit, but he is in the air for around 30 seconds)

8. Justin Fargas Meets Bernard Pollard

7. Darrell Reid on Kick Coverage: (It has been brought to my attention by an astute reader that this hit is not from 2008.  He is correct, the Colts did play the Titans on Monday night this year, but this hit did not occur in that game.  Still, this is an unbelievable hit that I’ll probably leave on the list.  I am taking suggestions for a new #7, to be named 7A, leave your selections in the comments)

Let’s Trot this one out as 7A for the time being. I don’t know how Lewis could, in good conscience, do this to a Solidier.

 

6. Jerrod Power on Andrew Hatch

5. Kevin Barnes makes a reciever puke: (Near the end of the video)

4. Brandon Jacobs meets LaRon Landry:

3. Angus Quigley knocks out a Texas Defender:

2. Hines Ward on Keith Rivers:

If you don’t believe this guy is juicing, you are living in a fantasy world:

1.

Did I miss any good ones?

The Angry T

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Now, if I had the money to pay for around 10 billboards I would definitely put lots of pictures of this chick on said billboards. 

Obviously, the Michigan State fans that have been putting up the billboards below are more interested in pointing out the Michigan Wolverines’ athletic ineptness:

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Bobby, if the players aren’t fired up after your pre-game speech that you read off a piece of paper in monotone voice, then I don’t know what will get “today’s player” going:

Shockingly, Florida State lost this game 27-17.

“Go out there with a…go out there with a…we gotta fight…and I know…I know you will.” Good stuff Bobby.  It may be time to play golf year round, which is probably what you’ve been doing for the last 10 years, because you haven’t been within 10 yards of a headset since 97′.

The Angry T

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In the first-ever Angry T espionage mission, myself, Nasty Nate, and another friend infiltrated SEC country this past weekend to get a firsthand look at the legendary tailgating culture in “The Grove” at Ole Miss. Almost no place in the country has a better reputation for a game-day experience than The Grove, and if it says so in the same newspaper that fired a reporter for making up stories from Iraq, why wouldn’t you believe it?

We arrived in the grove about at 7:15am. We figured we’d need to be this early in order to stakeout a spot and park within 10 miles of campus, however it turns out that we were the first people there by about 2 hours. Apparently Louisiana Monroe isn’t important enough for the fans to support their own team. As Nasty Nate said, “The fact that it’s La.-Monroe only buys you until about 8:30 in my book.”

When people did start trickling in, the legendary hospitality and community atmosphere apparently applied only to us offering to help other people set up chairs and carry heavy bales of straw to their tents, with nary a catfish nugget nor po’ boy offered in return at any point during the day. And “trickling in” is definitely the right way to describe it. There wasn’t what I would describe as a crowd until after 11am, for a 1pm start. I guess most of the people stay out in The Grove during the game, as the stadium was about 60% full at most. One thing that needs to be made abundantly clear about The Grove: there is no open flame allowed, which means no grills, and no cooking. People bring food in, or have it catered, which in my book makes it more of a picnic than a tailgate. That kind of thing would NEVER happen at Michigan or Ohio State, where fans regularly engage in honest-to-goodness parking lot tailgating, complete with cooked food, with people who actually show up.
The other part of this that I was not prepared for is that Ole Miss students apparently wear khakis, coats, ties, dresses, and heels, not just to The Grove for tailgating, but to the game as well. I’ve always been more of a “logo apparel” kind of guy (as any real fan of a team should be), and I understand this is tradition in the south, so I won’t make a judgment on this, but come on. One guy actually was strolling around in salmon pants, a blue coat with powder blue sweater underneath, and a pink tie. Aptly dubbed “Lord Doucheington,” we could see him all the way across the stadium in the student section the entire game.

(I must have missed these ladies, but I didn’t miss Lord Doucheington)

Three things that make me respect the SEC and their laid back, glorified picnic. First is the Walk of Champions, where the players walk through the grove to the stadium. That was really cool and I assume even better when it’s a bigger game. Slapping hands with Big Mike Oher is always worth the trip. Second is that the “SEC speed” thing is no myth. About 75% of the fans had left the stadium before the third quarter was over, presumably to press their slacks for the evening. That was much, MUCH faster than our plodding, Big Ten style “end of the game” departure. And finally, the dearth of SEC academics was readily on display. The game was in Mississippi, fellas. It’s not supposed to snow there. A little less time at Brooks Brothers, and a little more time hitting the meteorology books, ok?
So, here is what I have concluded and can now say with 100% certainty after spending 10 hours on campus the week of a crappy nonconference game the Saturday before the biggest rivalry game of the season on the coldest day of the year. The Grove is vastly overrated, which you can obviously apply to the SEC in general. Let’s hope the BCS gives us the game we want, Cincinnati vs. Utah, or Missouri vs. Michigan State, and keeps the southern schools on the outside looking in. Something tells me Lord Doucheington and the rest of his cronies won’t even notice.

Tenacious E

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